Materialism + whinging
I finally gave in and ordered Star Ocean: Second Evolution.
Well. I had good reason. *ahem*
I'm been stalking keeping an eye on the amazon.com page since the game came out, since I knew a price drop was inevitable (after all, it happened with the first game!). And finally, it has dropped. Yay. I found I could get the game slightly cheaper from an online retailer (Newegg.com -- never used them before, but I've heard they're good) than from Best Buy or GameStop, so that's that.
MATERIALISM, HEY!
I was extremely nervous -- to the point of panic -- about my Japanese kanji final today. We covered 278 kanji this semester. 278. And that is merely the number of kanji; it does not include the number of combinations/different readings (there are typically 2-3 given in our "textbook" for each kanji). We've had 11 kanji quizzes this semester, with 20 questions each -- 10 readings to write the kanji for, 10 kanji to write the reading for. (That's 220, if you're keeping track, though there were a few overlaps.) So. How is one supposed to study for that? Last semester I just reviewed the quizzes we'd taken, but when I got to the final, there were a few combinations that weren't on the quizzes. I also feel like we learned slightly fewer kanji last semester, and more of them were review. (Some of the kanji this semester were review as well, but the majority were new.) Now, it's true that I studied the new kanji each week for each quiz, but ... I certainly do not remember all the readings for all those 278 kanji. And, as usual, I got to a late start in studying. I didn't have time to review all the kanji -- I barely had time for all the quizzes. Anyway, in addition to knowing the reading and writing for the kanji, for the final we also had to know the meaning in English. (Now, I know, it seems like this should be learned first off anyway, but when one is cramming just to be able to memorize how to write the darn thing as well as which readings go with which kanji, the actual meaning of the words can be very easily pushed aside.) Waaaah.
So I studied last night -- including after I finished with my final evening of copy editing at 1 a.m. -- and panicked some more and thought about skipping my morning class to study (but didn't) and crammed while I ate lunch in the half hour before class. I was sure I would bomb it -- at least the writing section, because so many of the kanji we've learned recently look similar and have similar readings and mean unmemorable things (but of course, if you get one radical wrong, the whole thing is wrong).
But you know what? There were a few I'd forgotten, but the majority of the kanji final was pretty easy.
So now I don't know whether to complain that the kanji test wasn't worth the panic I put into studying for it, or to just be glad that it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
(Of course, if I hadn't studied as much as I had, it wouldn't have been easy -- so we'll have a bit of both.)
Meanwhile, the kanji final looming over me took away from the drama of last night being, well, my final night as head copy editor of the school paper. I have only been head copy editor since the end of last semester, but I have been a copy editor since my freshman year. I have dedicated many, many hours to the paper, and it's been important to me. I can say for certain that being on the Chimes staff has changed me; it has exposed me to perspectives radically different from my own, which in turn has made me question why I believe certain things. I don't know if I've changed for the better or worse; I'm less "conservative," in any case (though I'm definitely not "liberal" either). I'm less rigid about some issues, but I won't say my questioning has ended, and there are still some things I'm very firm on (for example, I do not think anyone will ever convince me that abortion is "OK"). But I'm kind of talking in circles.
For the most part, it was just a usual Wednesday night; lots of articles to read, a few finished pages to look over, and some time to do homework in between. But I also had to write my very first article for the paper -- a senior goodbye. And I also had to face saying goodbye to some of the people on the staff. Most I'll see when we "don't distribute" the spoof on Monday (our staff puts out a spoof every year, sponsored by the college in the past, but this year we've gone rogue, so we're not technically allowed to distribute it on campus), and at the Chimes party, assuming we have one. But I don't know about others. And you know, I hate goodbyes.
I always think of leaving Japan. We'd gathered from different places to be there at JCMU, and we would all return to our different places when it was over. For the people who came from my school (only one of whom I hung out with) and the surrounding area, yeah, we might meet again. But the others? One of my guy friends, as we were all saying goodbye to him, said point blank, Yeah, we're probably never going to see each other again. It's like ... *hug* *smile* "Have a nice life!"
That's kind of how I feel now. We have gathered from all over the earth, and we will scatter again. There are very few people here at college that I am friendly enough with that I can depend on keeping in contact with them. The rest, the buds of friendships that will never grow ... well, this is it. Is there some way to speed up the development of friendships with people? I am terribly slow. It takes me years to feel comfortable with people, to begin to consider them friends. (If I were a Harvest Moon character, I'd be the girl it takes *forever* to win.) I'm not a very open person, I guess.
I didn't cry last night, by the way. At 1 a.m., when I returned to my apartment, the ground was dark with fallen rain, and the air was slightly damp and just the right amount of chilly to make me shiver in my T-shirt without wishing I'd worn a jacket. A huge, thick cloud covered half the sky; the pale yellow moon, not quite full, was visible far above, along with a few stars. It was an exceedingly beautiful night. I love the fresh smell of the world after it rains. I love clouds; I love the moon and stars.
I wonder if I should have cried. I cried when the run of the fall play had ended my senior year, and then again after the spring musical. Theater was my thing in high school; there's something almost magical in the way the crew and cast come together for performances -- to me, anyway. Knowing that this would never happen again for me ... I cried for that loss.
I suppose it would feel strange to cry over Chimes. It is very important to me. The people on staff are important to me, and I will be sad not to see them again. But it is a labor, and when the labor has ended, there should be joy, not tears.
Anyway. I don't know why I'm trying to turn philosophical about working on a school newspaper. (I don't seem to be succeeding very well, in any case.)
Star Ocean is my reward for this labor. (Well. ...)
(That was really trite. I'm sorry D:)
Well. I had good reason. *ahem*
I'm been stalking keeping an eye on the amazon.com page since the game came out, since I knew a price drop was inevitable (after all, it happened with the first game!). And finally, it has dropped. Yay. I found I could get the game slightly cheaper from an online retailer (Newegg.com -- never used them before, but I've heard they're good) than from Best Buy or GameStop, so that's that.
MATERIALISM, HEY!
I was extremely nervous -- to the point of panic -- about my Japanese kanji final today. We covered 278 kanji this semester. 278. And that is merely the number of kanji; it does not include the number of combinations/different readings (there are typically 2-3 given in our "textbook" for each kanji). We've had 11 kanji quizzes this semester, with 20 questions each -- 10 readings to write the kanji for, 10 kanji to write the reading for. (That's 220, if you're keeping track, though there were a few overlaps.) So. How is one supposed to study for that? Last semester I just reviewed the quizzes we'd taken, but when I got to the final, there were a few combinations that weren't on the quizzes. I also feel like we learned slightly fewer kanji last semester, and more of them were review. (Some of the kanji this semester were review as well, but the majority were new.) Now, it's true that I studied the new kanji each week for each quiz, but ... I certainly do not remember all the readings for all those 278 kanji. And, as usual, I got to a late start in studying. I didn't have time to review all the kanji -- I barely had time for all the quizzes. Anyway, in addition to knowing the reading and writing for the kanji, for the final we also had to know the meaning in English. (Now, I know, it seems like this should be learned first off anyway, but when one is cramming just to be able to memorize how to write the darn thing as well as which readings go with which kanji, the actual meaning of the words can be very easily pushed aside.) Waaaah.
So I studied last night -- including after I finished with my final evening of copy editing at 1 a.m. -- and panicked some more and thought about skipping my morning class to study (but didn't) and crammed while I ate lunch in the half hour before class. I was sure I would bomb it -- at least the writing section, because so many of the kanji we've learned recently look similar and have similar readings and mean unmemorable things (but of course, if you get one radical wrong, the whole thing is wrong).
But you know what? There were a few I'd forgotten, but the majority of the kanji final was pretty easy.
So now I don't know whether to complain that the kanji test wasn't worth the panic I put into studying for it, or to just be glad that it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
(Of course, if I hadn't studied as much as I had, it wouldn't have been easy -- so we'll have a bit of both.)
Meanwhile, the kanji final looming over me took away from the drama of last night being, well, my final night as head copy editor of the school paper. I have only been head copy editor since the end of last semester, but I have been a copy editor since my freshman year. I have dedicated many, many hours to the paper, and it's been important to me. I can say for certain that being on the Chimes staff has changed me; it has exposed me to perspectives radically different from my own, which in turn has made me question why I believe certain things. I don't know if I've changed for the better or worse; I'm less "conservative," in any case (though I'm definitely not "liberal" either). I'm less rigid about some issues, but I won't say my questioning has ended, and there are still some things I'm very firm on (for example, I do not think anyone will ever convince me that abortion is "OK"). But I'm kind of talking in circles.
For the most part, it was just a usual Wednesday night; lots of articles to read, a few finished pages to look over, and some time to do homework in between. But I also had to write my very first article for the paper -- a senior goodbye. And I also had to face saying goodbye to some of the people on the staff. Most I'll see when we "don't distribute" the spoof on Monday (our staff puts out a spoof every year, sponsored by the college in the past, but this year we've gone rogue, so we're not technically allowed to distribute it on campus), and at the Chimes party, assuming we have one. But I don't know about others. And you know, I hate goodbyes.
I always think of leaving Japan. We'd gathered from different places to be there at JCMU, and we would all return to our different places when it was over. For the people who came from my school (only one of whom I hung out with) and the surrounding area, yeah, we might meet again. But the others? One of my guy friends, as we were all saying goodbye to him, said point blank, Yeah, we're probably never going to see each other again. It's like ... *hug* *smile* "Have a nice life!"
That's kind of how I feel now. We have gathered from all over the earth, and we will scatter again. There are very few people here at college that I am friendly enough with that I can depend on keeping in contact with them. The rest, the buds of friendships that will never grow ... well, this is it. Is there some way to speed up the development of friendships with people? I am terribly slow. It takes me years to feel comfortable with people, to begin to consider them friends. (If I were a Harvest Moon character, I'd be the girl it takes *forever* to win.) I'm not a very open person, I guess.
I didn't cry last night, by the way. At 1 a.m., when I returned to my apartment, the ground was dark with fallen rain, and the air was slightly damp and just the right amount of chilly to make me shiver in my T-shirt without wishing I'd worn a jacket. A huge, thick cloud covered half the sky; the pale yellow moon, not quite full, was visible far above, along with a few stars. It was an exceedingly beautiful night. I love the fresh smell of the world after it rains. I love clouds; I love the moon and stars.
I wonder if I should have cried. I cried when the run of the fall play had ended my senior year, and then again after the spring musical. Theater was my thing in high school; there's something almost magical in the way the crew and cast come together for performances -- to me, anyway. Knowing that this would never happen again for me ... I cried for that loss.
I suppose it would feel strange to cry over Chimes. It is very important to me. The people on staff are important to me, and I will be sad not to see them again. But it is a labor, and when the labor has ended, there should be joy, not tears.
Anyway. I don't know why I'm trying to turn philosophical about working on a school newspaper. (I don't seem to be succeeding very well, in any case.)
Star Ocean is my reward for this labor. (Well. ...)
(That was really trite. I'm sorry D:)