Quest for honesty and truth
A couple of years ago I went on a quest for truth. For many years I was a chameleon. Mirroring those around me and being what people wanted to see, saying what they wanted to hear. I believed my words. I was very changeable. Deep down there was a part of me that didn't change. A little person hidden in a control room. I figured out how to break the glass and let him out.
I confused my stream on consciousness with honesty for a long time, and while they are similar they are not the same. I would ask myself "What is the genuine and authentic feeling I have right now? What is the genuine and authentic thing to say or do right now?"
I learned that I had to filter and balance with saying things that were socially appropriate (usually and depending on who I was with, which is a filter in and of itself). I found this disappointing but necessary to live in this world and have working relationships and a career.
Now I am learning that sometimes particularly when dealing with the opposite sex I must ask myself "What is the most honest, appropriate, and tactical thing to do or say right now?"
I have learned that there are many things that must not be said under any circumstances to my wife/lover. No matter how close of a friend I want to be to them. She is too sensitive about some things.
I know this is true of myself as well. There are things she probably thinks that I would never want to hear. I am not always, or even often lately, completely secure in myself.
I confused my stream on consciousness with honesty for a long time, and while they are similar they are not the same. I would ask myself "What is the genuine and authentic feeling I have right now? What is the genuine and authentic thing to say or do right now?"
I learned that I had to filter and balance with saying things that were socially appropriate (usually and depending on who I was with, which is a filter in and of itself). I found this disappointing but necessary to live in this world and have working relationships and a career.
Now I am learning that sometimes particularly when dealing with the opposite sex I must ask myself "What is the most honest, appropriate, and tactical thing to do or say right now?"
I have learned that there are many things that must not be said under any circumstances to my wife/lover. No matter how close of a friend I want to be to them. She is too sensitive about some things.
I know this is true of myself as well. There are things she probably thinks that I would never want to hear. I am not always, or even often lately, completely secure in myself.