(no subject)
Reading Mary's entry brought back so many memories, but not the good ones...
Thw Wicca, the poor grades, the skipping, the bad choice of friends. i can go on for ages.
Anywho...
I knew I couldn't depend on Erica again. She always bails on me and it's really aggitating. Everytime I try to hang out with her she gives me some bullshit excuse a couple hours before so we don't end up hanging out. I'm not even going to call this girl my best friend, because she's not. Adam is my best friend. He's always fucking there for me and he lets me make my own mistakes and even when he knows I'm making the wrong choice or he's mad at me, he ALWAYS has my back. She can go hang out with her trailor trash friend and they can get knocked up together. Sorry for being a bitch, but I seriously don't know who my true friends are anymore. I thought I could trust her and depend on her. I've known her long enough. But obviously, I can't. I hate it when she says 'I'm sorry!' in that whiny little voice of hers because it's not a genuine apology. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't say your sorry if you keep doing the same thing over and over again. I'm done. Officially done. I have other people who actually care...
So my mom didn't let me go to Powerman 5000 for fears that I would become "gothic" again. My ass. I've never been gothic. She considers someone who wears all black to be goth. Goth is a lifestyle, not a genre...
I thoughy by taking AP's I'd be doing myself a favor, but I just went in way over my head. It's just too fucking hard and there's no way I can switch out. I'm so afraid that my junior year is going to be completely screwed up because of this. I have 3 or 4 f's on my report card and my mom is the biggest bitch in the world and is only going to tell me once again that I'm not going to get into college. She swears I'm not going to graduate. I fucking ahte her. Every time she repeats something like that, I start to believe it. Sort of like how she tells me that I'm not attractive. Thanks to that comment, I have the lowest self esteem ever. She disgusts me. But maybe she's right. I'm probably going to amount to what she is; a nothing...
I feel so lost again. And I seriously don't know what to do. I always know what to do. But not this time...
There's sooooo much more to it, but I shant bore you with the details of my life...
Thw Wicca, the poor grades, the skipping, the bad choice of friends. i can go on for ages.
Anywho...
I knew I couldn't depend on Erica again. She always bails on me and it's really aggitating. Everytime I try to hang out with her she gives me some bullshit excuse a couple hours before so we don't end up hanging out. I'm not even going to call this girl my best friend, because she's not. Adam is my best friend. He's always fucking there for me and he lets me make my own mistakes and even when he knows I'm making the wrong choice or he's mad at me, he ALWAYS has my back. She can go hang out with her trailor trash friend and they can get knocked up together. Sorry for being a bitch, but I seriously don't know who my true friends are anymore. I thought I could trust her and depend on her. I've known her long enough. But obviously, I can't. I hate it when she says 'I'm sorry!' in that whiny little voice of hers because it's not a genuine apology. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't say your sorry if you keep doing the same thing over and over again. I'm done. Officially done. I have other people who actually care...
So my mom didn't let me go to Powerman 5000 for fears that I would become "gothic" again. My ass. I've never been gothic. She considers someone who wears all black to be goth. Goth is a lifestyle, not a genre...
I thoughy by taking AP's I'd be doing myself a favor, but I just went in way over my head. It's just too fucking hard and there's no way I can switch out. I'm so afraid that my junior year is going to be completely screwed up because of this. I have 3 or 4 f's on my report card and my mom is the biggest bitch in the world and is only going to tell me once again that I'm not going to get into college. She swears I'm not going to graduate. I fucking ahte her. Every time she repeats something like that, I start to believe it. Sort of like how she tells me that I'm not attractive. Thanks to that comment, I have the lowest self esteem ever. She disgusts me. But maybe she's right. I'm probably going to amount to what she is; a nothing...
I feel so lost again. And I seriously don't know what to do. I always know what to do. But not this time...
There's sooooo much more to it, but I shant bore you with the details of my life...