A CRUTCH... WHY CALL YOU FOR A CRUTCH?
something is a-brewin'...
maybe a new boy...
i don't know how i feel about it...
the 19th was franco and my one year anniversery. i know we are not dating. i do not need one more goddam person to tell me that. but it still felt like an anniversery. once things began a-brewin' with possible new boy, all i could think of was when franco told me he was seeing someone else. i wasn't bothered so much by his dating but how imaturely he told me (promise you won't be upset...). i'm not going to lie, i was upset, but i wasn't crushed. i just have this jabbing feeling in the back of head that is telling me that he will be very, very hurt by this. almost like what he told me was a pinch as compared to me punching him. i know, i know... that brings up the whole "why is it okay for him to date but i can't" thing. i don't think it's like that. i think it's more of a "i don't know how i feel about you anymore because you aren't here but when i do tihnk about you all i can do is smile and it kills me to tihnk of you with someone else, even though i am seeing someone else." does that even make sense?
a new boy would be good for me...
how 'bout i find out if there is a possibility...
then i'l will deal with the franco.
maybe a new boy...
i don't know how i feel about it...
the 19th was franco and my one year anniversery. i know we are not dating. i do not need one more goddam person to tell me that. but it still felt like an anniversery. once things began a-brewin' with possible new boy, all i could think of was when franco told me he was seeing someone else. i wasn't bothered so much by his dating but how imaturely he told me (promise you won't be upset...). i'm not going to lie, i was upset, but i wasn't crushed. i just have this jabbing feeling in the back of head that is telling me that he will be very, very hurt by this. almost like what he told me was a pinch as compared to me punching him. i know, i know... that brings up the whole "why is it okay for him to date but i can't" thing. i don't think it's like that. i think it's more of a "i don't know how i feel about you anymore because you aren't here but when i do tihnk about you all i can do is smile and it kills me to tihnk of you with someone else, even though i am seeing someone else." does that even make sense?
a new boy would be good for me...
how 'bout i find out if there is a possibility...
then i'l will deal with the franco.