You have washed your hands clean of this.
OMGSYTYCD. I love it when reality shows are so awesome I can't decide to root for. For those of you who are on the fence about So You Think You Can Dance, imagine American Idol, only really well-produced, with challenges that genuinely test the skills of the contestants. Like, they make the b-boys tango and the ballroom dancers do hip hop, but they also give people chances to do what they do best, and everyone is assigned a partner so every week they are reliant on their own abilities to work collaboratively. And the judges are quirky-memorable without stealing the show from the contestants. In other words, so deeply awesome.
Does anyone have an mp3 of Harry Chapin's "Cats in the Cradle" or Bruce Cockburn's "If I Had a Rocket Launcher"? Fabulous rewards are available.
And now, three last kiss ficlets. Nota muy bien before clicking: they're last kisses, damn it, there might be character death or breakup sadness. All are futurefics with possible spoilers for all relevant canon.
For vandonovan, Mal/Jayne.
Ta ma de hun dan ain't even got the gao wan to shoot Mal in the face. Fires at him from behind, and gets him good, too, knows how to put a bullet through a kidney and a lung. 'Fore Jayne can turn around, there ain't no sign of the shooter. Zoe radios for Simon, but Mal's bleeding all his life out, no way the doctor's gonna make it in time and no way they're moving Mal. Jayne kneels on the ground and holds Mal's head up. Mal is gasping, his mouth full of blood. He says, "Well, you and I both knew it wasn't gonna last forever."
"Reckon it done for you," Jayne says.
"Reckon it did, at that," Mal says, and that's all he can say through the coughing and choking. Jayne kisses his hair and his brow, his cheeks and his jaw, gets blood in his own mouth, fights the urge to spit 'cause this is the last of Mal, last of his heart.
Doc comes too late, like Jayne knew he would. Jayne ain't crying, and if he is, he ain't admitting it.
*
For pearl_o, Alison/Ben from Knocked Up.
Ben and Alison broke up last night. It wasn't a fight, although they've had a lot of those. It was just him, sitting her down on the couch after the kids went to bed and saying, "We're going to start hating each other really soon, and that's got to be worse than calling it a day." He's not moving out yet, because they have to go through arbitration, which sounds like bullshit but, he admits, is probably smarter that trying to divide things up on their own. They never got around to getting married, but they did all the other stuff. Joint bank account, a house in both their names, and with the same kind of planning and foresight that had brought them Emma, a second child.
They haven't told the kids yet. They're at this point where they know it's permanent but it doesn't feel that way, so they're in the backyard, watching the kids pretend they don't realize something really bad is about to happen. "They turned out pretty great, didn't they?" Alison says out of nowhere.
"They're eight and five," Ben says. "Still plenty of chances to f-- to screw 'em up."
"I think they'll be fine," Alison says.
"I don't know," Ben says. "Emma's got my looks and your sense of humor, that's got to get her in trouble sooner or later."
Alison kisses him on the cheek even though that totally violates everything they agreed to on the couch last night. "I'm going to miss you," she says. "I mean, the good parts, I am seriously going to miss."
"There were good parts?" Ben says.
"Come on," Alison says.
Ben's about to say something, but Emma is whacking Daniel over the head with a tree branch and he has to run over there and break it up. Of course there were good parts. His dad was right: they're the best thing that ever happened to him, and Alison gave him that.
*
For callmesandy, Logan/Weevil.
After Veronica proves Weevil didn't make those fake IDs, Weevil uses what's left of his money to buy a used '96 Yamaha YZF and get the fuck out of Neptune. He's still on parole, so he can't leave the state of California, but California's pretty fucking big. He gets off the freeway every few exits to see if anyone's hiring mechanics, and he gets all the way to San Francisco before anybody says yes. This old biker-type guy doesn't say a thing about criminal records or references, just gives Weevil an '87 Corolla to work on and when Weevil's done making it run like new, he's got the job. The garage is in a suburb full of rich Asians, and they treat Weevil like a dog but the pay's really good. Weevil thinks about hitting people all the time, but he's taught himself he's just gotta keep on thinking. He finishes his parole and he's still got a job and an apartment, so he guesses he's got it right.
The old man retires and puts Weevil in charge even though there's two guys who've been there longer. Those guys quit, and Weevil's got to replace them, so he hires this Chinese guy and a crazy Filipina chick named Rosario de Jesus. All of a sudden, his rich Asian customers are friendly. If there's one thing Weevil learned growing up in Neptune, it's that people gotta feel like they're among their own. Weird how he can't shake the place, even though he don't talk to nobody down there no more, nobody except his grandma. She's been sick, too much diabetes and not enough health insurance. He sends money. Nothing else he can do.
Rosario de Jesus reminds him a little of Lilly, if Lilly could tilt her head sideways at a Mercedes SUV with a busted transmission and one hour later have the bitch running better than new. She reminds him a little of Veronica, if Veronica could sit around after hours drinking beers and telling dirty jokes. She doesn't remind him of Logan at all. A year after he hires her, he asks her to marry him, and a year after that, they go to City Hall and make good on it.
A year after that, Weevil's grandma's heart gives out. He realizes he's gotta do what he hasn't done in years. Rosario wants to go with him, but somebody's gotta keep an eye on the shop, and besides, there's nothing down there she needs to see.
It's a longer trip than he remembers, hours and hours of freeway, the terrain shifting from green to gold. Still, he gets to Neptune a couple hours early. He can't imagine going anywhere, especially when everything looks so much like he left it. But you can't exactly sleep on a bike, so he gets himself a cup of coffee. The coffee place is a Starbucks now, and that makes it easier to hunch over and hide.
He's still looking down when he goes into the funeral home, trying to be invisible. For a while, either it works or nobody wants to talk to him. He gets through the whole service like that. But after, someone yells, "Hey, Weevil," and he turns around even though no one's called him that in ages.
"What the fuck are you doin' here?" Weevil says, because it's Logan Echolls, so the question needs answering.
"The old lady hated me, but she also basically raised me, so I thought I should pay my respects," he says. His suit is all the same shade of black, top to bottom, including the shirt, tie, and shoes. "And you? No, wait, let me guess. Finally on parole!"
"Finished that shit four years ago," Weevil says. He summarizes the garage, the apartment, San Francisco. He holds up his hand so Logan can see the ring on his finger.
"No shit," Logan says. He is smirking at a damn funeral. And then he is kissing Weevil at a funeral, like it is something people do for old time's sake. A way to reminisce about all those blow jobs in the boiler room at Neptune High.
"Fuck you," Weevil says.
"What do you care?" Logan says. "You'll never be back here again."
Does anyone have an mp3 of Harry Chapin's "Cats in the Cradle" or Bruce Cockburn's "If I Had a Rocket Launcher"? Fabulous rewards are available.
And now, three last kiss ficlets. Nota muy bien before clicking: they're last kisses, damn it, there might be character death or breakup sadness. All are futurefics with possible spoilers for all relevant canon.
For vandonovan, Mal/Jayne.
Ta ma de hun dan ain't even got the gao wan to shoot Mal in the face. Fires at him from behind, and gets him good, too, knows how to put a bullet through a kidney and a lung. 'Fore Jayne can turn around, there ain't no sign of the shooter. Zoe radios for Simon, but Mal's bleeding all his life out, no way the doctor's gonna make it in time and no way they're moving Mal. Jayne kneels on the ground and holds Mal's head up. Mal is gasping, his mouth full of blood. He says, "Well, you and I both knew it wasn't gonna last forever."
"Reckon it done for you," Jayne says.
"Reckon it did, at that," Mal says, and that's all he can say through the coughing and choking. Jayne kisses his hair and his brow, his cheeks and his jaw, gets blood in his own mouth, fights the urge to spit 'cause this is the last of Mal, last of his heart.
Doc comes too late, like Jayne knew he would. Jayne ain't crying, and if he is, he ain't admitting it.
*
For pearl_o, Alison/Ben from Knocked Up.
Ben and Alison broke up last night. It wasn't a fight, although they've had a lot of those. It was just him, sitting her down on the couch after the kids went to bed and saying, "We're going to start hating each other really soon, and that's got to be worse than calling it a day." He's not moving out yet, because they have to go through arbitration, which sounds like bullshit but, he admits, is probably smarter that trying to divide things up on their own. They never got around to getting married, but they did all the other stuff. Joint bank account, a house in both their names, and with the same kind of planning and foresight that had brought them Emma, a second child.
They haven't told the kids yet. They're at this point where they know it's permanent but it doesn't feel that way, so they're in the backyard, watching the kids pretend they don't realize something really bad is about to happen. "They turned out pretty great, didn't they?" Alison says out of nowhere.
"They're eight and five," Ben says. "Still plenty of chances to f-- to screw 'em up."
"I think they'll be fine," Alison says.
"I don't know," Ben says. "Emma's got my looks and your sense of humor, that's got to get her in trouble sooner or later."
Alison kisses him on the cheek even though that totally violates everything they agreed to on the couch last night. "I'm going to miss you," she says. "I mean, the good parts, I am seriously going to miss."
"There were good parts?" Ben says.
"Come on," Alison says.
Ben's about to say something, but Emma is whacking Daniel over the head with a tree branch and he has to run over there and break it up. Of course there were good parts. His dad was right: they're the best thing that ever happened to him, and Alison gave him that.
*
For callmesandy, Logan/Weevil.
After Veronica proves Weevil didn't make those fake IDs, Weevil uses what's left of his money to buy a used '96 Yamaha YZF and get the fuck out of Neptune. He's still on parole, so he can't leave the state of California, but California's pretty fucking big. He gets off the freeway every few exits to see if anyone's hiring mechanics, and he gets all the way to San Francisco before anybody says yes. This old biker-type guy doesn't say a thing about criminal records or references, just gives Weevil an '87 Corolla to work on and when Weevil's done making it run like new, he's got the job. The garage is in a suburb full of rich Asians, and they treat Weevil like a dog but the pay's really good. Weevil thinks about hitting people all the time, but he's taught himself he's just gotta keep on thinking. He finishes his parole and he's still got a job and an apartment, so he guesses he's got it right.
The old man retires and puts Weevil in charge even though there's two guys who've been there longer. Those guys quit, and Weevil's got to replace them, so he hires this Chinese guy and a crazy Filipina chick named Rosario de Jesus. All of a sudden, his rich Asian customers are friendly. If there's one thing Weevil learned growing up in Neptune, it's that people gotta feel like they're among their own. Weird how he can't shake the place, even though he don't talk to nobody down there no more, nobody except his grandma. She's been sick, too much diabetes and not enough health insurance. He sends money. Nothing else he can do.
Rosario de Jesus reminds him a little of Lilly, if Lilly could tilt her head sideways at a Mercedes SUV with a busted transmission and one hour later have the bitch running better than new. She reminds him a little of Veronica, if Veronica could sit around after hours drinking beers and telling dirty jokes. She doesn't remind him of Logan at all. A year after he hires her, he asks her to marry him, and a year after that, they go to City Hall and make good on it.
A year after that, Weevil's grandma's heart gives out. He realizes he's gotta do what he hasn't done in years. Rosario wants to go with him, but somebody's gotta keep an eye on the shop, and besides, there's nothing down there she needs to see.
It's a longer trip than he remembers, hours and hours of freeway, the terrain shifting from green to gold. Still, he gets to Neptune a couple hours early. He can't imagine going anywhere, especially when everything looks so much like he left it. But you can't exactly sleep on a bike, so he gets himself a cup of coffee. The coffee place is a Starbucks now, and that makes it easier to hunch over and hide.
He's still looking down when he goes into the funeral home, trying to be invisible. For a while, either it works or nobody wants to talk to him. He gets through the whole service like that. But after, someone yells, "Hey, Weevil," and he turns around even though no one's called him that in ages.
"What the fuck are you doin' here?" Weevil says, because it's Logan Echolls, so the question needs answering.
"The old lady hated me, but she also basically raised me, so I thought I should pay my respects," he says. His suit is all the same shade of black, top to bottom, including the shirt, tie, and shoes. "And you? No, wait, let me guess. Finally on parole!"
"Finished that shit four years ago," Weevil says. He summarizes the garage, the apartment, San Francisco. He holds up his hand so Logan can see the ring on his finger.
"No shit," Logan says. He is smirking at a damn funeral. And then he is kissing Weevil at a funeral, like it is something people do for old time's sake. A way to reminisce about all those blow jobs in the boiler room at Neptune High.
"Fuck you," Weevil says.
"What do you care?" Logan says. "You'll never be back here again."