Comments | mos_self: FIC: Plan 9 From Outer Space, SGA, almost PG-13

mos_self

FIC: Plan 9 From Outer Space, SGA, almost PG-13

Apr 09, 2006 01:22

TITLE: Plan 9 From Outer Space

AUTHOR: Myownspecialself

SUMMARY: Zelenka in sequins and an Elvis wig, Novak dressed as Cheerleader Barbie, and Kusanagi as Santa Claus. Definitely not your standard rescue operation, Lorne told himself as he adjusted his Mickey Mouse ears.

( Read more... )

moss-fic, challenges, sga: lorne, lorne-fic

Comments 80

celli April 9 2006, 08:40:02 UTC

"My God," McKay said softly as he and the others paused for a moment to take in the spectacle, "so this is what it's like to go mad."

Oh my God. I think I just popped something laughing. Oh my GOD.

Poor Lorne. Except not. *giggling madly*

mos_self April 10 2006, 20:49:59 UTC

Oh my God. I think I just popped something laughing. Oh my GOD.

Yes. I forgot to remind everyone: "Please keep your arms inside the car at all times during the crack!ride."

Also, thank you for audiencing the preliminary version, and for reading!
:::hugs:::

teaphile April 9 2006, 18:50:30 UTC

You are certifiable. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks.

mos_self April 10 2006, 20:55:20 UTC

You are certifiable.
Guilty as charged, ma'am. Would have to be in order to have signed up for those challenges.

I haven't laughed so hard in weeks.
Yay! I'm glad my pain translated ultimately into laughter.
;-)

minotaurs April 9 2006, 19:40:31 UTC

Love, love, LOVE the title, and ending each section with a reference to Lorne's hair was great - you could easily have kept that up throughout. In fact, the whole scene where Chuck returns the DVD you could cut out - the title already sets the joke up for those of us who know the movie, and for those who don't Lorne explains it to Parrish at the end. Detailing it in the middle is either redundant or a spoiler.

That said, the planet's name made me do a spit-take. Luckily, it was only water.

mos_self April 10 2006, 21:01:23 UTC

ending each section with a reference to Lorne's hair was great - you could easily have kept that up throughout.
I actually thought about that, but then I had to figure out the plot and I fried my brain in the process... and sometimes it's just hard to keep it up all the way to the end. (That wasn't supposed to be a double-entendre.)

In fact, the whole scene where Chuck returns the DVD you could cut out - the title already sets the joke up for those of us who know the movie, and for those who don't Lorne explains it to Parrish at the end. Detailing it in the middle is either redundant or a spoiler.
Good point. I now think I can remove the expository stuff from the scene you reference, and move it to the Author's Notes. For the challenge, we are supposed to give a brief synopsis of the movie that was assigned to us.

Thanks again for the input!

tingler April 12 2006, 04:42:44 UTC

Also, it seemed a bit weird (I can't believe I just typed that) that Chuck chose to return a DVD in the middle of what was supposedly brainstorming a rescue.

But the story was funny. Loved the "follow the bubbles" and Zelenka bellowing "Elvis has left the planet"! (And of *course* Sheppard was the only one that liked Lorne's new 'do.*g*)

mos_self April 12 2006, 04:58:09 UTC

Also, it seemed a bit weird (I can't believe I just typed that) that Chuck chose to return a DVD in the middle of what was supposedly brainstorming a rescue.

That got me to thinking. What I was struggling to write here is that Chuck (as an outsider to the planning process) happens to drop by with the DVD when Lorne is in his room getting ready to go to the meeting where the brainstorming is supposed to take place. The DVD triggers the inspiration for the rescue plan.

That scene really muddies up the waters and doesn't move the story forward very well, so I will need to revise or take out that part before I archive the story.

Thanks for the feedback and for letting me know what worked for you.

burntcopper April 9 2006, 21:58:09 UTC

:falls over laughing: Oh god, the *images*. Zelenka doing Elvis. Shep being the only one who liked Lorne's hair.

mos_self April 10 2006, 21:02:58 UTC

:falls over laughing: Oh god, the *images*. Zelenka doing Elvis.

Heh. Zelenka is such a lovable ham, isn't he?
;-)
Thanks for reading and commenting!

corinna_5 April 9 2006, 22:52:25 UTC

God, I love this fandom.

Adorable! I love all the little details, like the Hello Kitty desk set.

mos_self April 10 2006, 21:15:02 UTC

God, I love this fandom.

:::nods::: I know what you mean.
Myself? I came for the crack, and I stayed for the crack.
;-)

Adorable! I love all the little details, like the Hello Kitty desk set.

I'm pleased you liked those details, and thank you very much for the feedback.