BtVS 2.13-2.14
Finally, the episodes I've been waiting for. Anxiously. Very anxiously.
2.13 "Surprise":
• Broken plates = lost virginity. HOW VERY SUBTLE. *eyeroll*
• Is there any such thing as "not being ready" when a guy looks like that? I THINK NOT.
• One of my favorite things about this show is that the men are even more objectified than the women, and how often do you see that? Equal opportunity ogling!
• I've been long since spoiled for what happens at the end of this episode (and what happens to Angel because of it), but no one told me that there would also be following to the door and grabbing and kissing AND MORE KISSING PUSHED UP AGAINST THE DOOR AND I KNOW WHAT BUFFY WANTS FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
• So if you lose your virginity when you're sixteen instead of just-turned-seventeen, you're Slutty McSlut of the Clan McSlut or something? Hmph! (And is LJ going to delete me for talking about this? *raises middle finger in LJ's general direction*)
• I profoundly hope that this means Xander finally stops his tedious mooning over Buffy and Willow hers over Xander.
• How do vampires do their makeup (much less shave, as Willow once asked)? Do they have to get someone else to do it? This has been preying on my mind.
• Vincent Schiavelli as the old gypsy guy! Now that's a blast from the past. I worked on one of his books. If he weren't dead, and therefore should not be spoken ill of, I would be able tell you that I hope he was much less difficult as an actor than he was as an author.
• Yeah, right, show. You're not going to send Angel off to Nepal or somewhere (via Sunnydale's conveniently located docks) while Buffy still has her V card. Don't even try.
• A claddagh ring! Belonging to someone! (Thank you, young ladies of the focus group! I see your hand in this. Also in the running in the rain that comes later, leading to the oh-so-ficworthy need to get out of their wet clothes.)
• Spike and Drusilla sure do know how to throw a party - punchbowl of blood and all. *squishes them*
• This can't-be-sure-we-won't-lose-each-other thing is making me all throat-lumpy, and that's before the declaration of love ET CETERA. (I wish I hadn't been spoiled for what happened to Angel afterward, but that happened years ago, so there was no help for it.)
2.14 "Innocence":
• Okay, maybe not worst nightmare, because that would include impregnation with a demon baby. But pretty damn close.
• Most girls only have to worry about things like a guy telling all his friends, or at the worst having him thank them for helping him realize he's gay. Not so simple when you're a Slayer in love with a cursed vampire, because then YOUR VAGINA DOESN'T MAKE HIM GAY - IT MAKES HIM EVIL.
• Yes, it really is tragic, but it is also SWEET SWEET CRACKCAKES SERVED WITH A CRACK COULIS.
• OMG, the classic "can they tell I'm not a virgin anymore just by looking at me?" thing. That's REAL, man. Didn't take my mother long to figure it out, at least.
• Oh, no! Poor Willow. Broken hearts all over the place! I think I'm going to need the rest of that bottle of wine to get through all this.
• I'm cringing now as I wait for him to do something terribly hurtful. His evil shirtlessness will have to serve as my consolation in the meantime. HIS EVIL LEATHER-PANTSED SHIRTLESSNESS.
• OUCH. YOU EVIL, EVIL MOTHERFUCKER. I have to keep hitting pause because it's so exactly what you don't want to hear from the guy who just took your virginity, even when he's not really the guy who took your virginity anymore because his soul is gone, but you don't know that yet. OMFG. What's really going on is so much worse than it even seems to Buffy at this moment. I actually feel kind of sick.
• KEEP YOUR HUGE EVIL MITTS OFF WILLOW, YOU BASTARD. But when you grab Buffy and kiss her and throw her down, that's actually still pretty hot, vampire face, fangs, and all.
• Something set it off all right: Buffy's ladyparts. Willow KNOWS.
• HE WANTS TO HURT HER BECAUSE SHE MADE HIM FEEL LIKE A HUMAN BEING. HE WANTS TO HURT HER LIKE HE HURT DRUSILLA. *rips off clothes and rolls naked in the angst*
• And there was much in the way of heavy breathing and expanses of skin and shadowy heaving of bedcovers. If only this had been on HBO or Showtime.
• BUFFY/ANGEL SMACKDOWN OF EVILLY BANTERING SEXUALLY THREATENING THERMONUCLEAR HOTNESS.
• But she can't kill him. YET. OMG.
STAB ME IN THE HEART, SHOW. STAB ME IN THE HEART AND THEN TWIST THE KNIFE.
Comfort me, flist!
Tell me happy things! Give me fic recs! HELP.
2.13 "Surprise":
• Broken plates = lost virginity. HOW VERY SUBTLE. *eyeroll*
• Is there any such thing as "not being ready" when a guy looks like that? I THINK NOT.
• One of my favorite things about this show is that the men are even more objectified than the women, and how often do you see that? Equal opportunity ogling!
• I've been long since spoiled for what happens at the end of this episode (and what happens to Angel because of it), but no one told me that there would also be following to the door and grabbing and kissing AND MORE KISSING PUSHED UP AGAINST THE DOOR AND I KNOW WHAT BUFFY WANTS FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
• So if you lose your virginity when you're sixteen instead of just-turned-seventeen, you're Slutty McSlut of the Clan McSlut or something? Hmph! (And is LJ going to delete me for talking about this? *raises middle finger in LJ's general direction*)
• I profoundly hope that this means Xander finally stops his tedious mooning over Buffy and Willow hers over Xander.
• How do vampires do their makeup (much less shave, as Willow once asked)? Do they have to get someone else to do it? This has been preying on my mind.
• Vincent Schiavelli as the old gypsy guy! Now that's a blast from the past. I worked on one of his books. If he weren't dead, and therefore should not be spoken ill of, I would be able tell you that I hope he was much less difficult as an actor than he was as an author.
• Yeah, right, show. You're not going to send Angel off to Nepal or somewhere (via Sunnydale's conveniently located docks) while Buffy still has her V card. Don't even try.
• A claddagh ring! Belonging to someone! (Thank you, young ladies of the focus group! I see your hand in this. Also in the running in the rain that comes later, leading to the oh-so-ficworthy need to get out of their wet clothes.)
• Spike and Drusilla sure do know how to throw a party - punchbowl of blood and all. *squishes them*
• This can't-be-sure-we-won't-lose-each-other thing is making me all throat-lumpy, and that's before the declaration of love ET CETERA. (I wish I hadn't been spoiled for what happened to Angel afterward, but that happened years ago, so there was no help for it.)
2.14 "Innocence":
• Okay, maybe not worst nightmare, because that would include impregnation with a demon baby. But pretty damn close.
• Most girls only have to worry about things like a guy telling all his friends, or at the worst having him thank them for helping him realize he's gay. Not so simple when you're a Slayer in love with a cursed vampire, because then YOUR VAGINA DOESN'T MAKE HIM GAY - IT MAKES HIM EVIL.
• Yes, it really is tragic, but it is also SWEET SWEET CRACKCAKES SERVED WITH A CRACK COULIS.
• OMG, the classic "can they tell I'm not a virgin anymore just by looking at me?" thing. That's REAL, man. Didn't take my mother long to figure it out, at least.
• Oh, no! Poor Willow. Broken hearts all over the place! I think I'm going to need the rest of that bottle of wine to get through all this.
• I'm cringing now as I wait for him to do something terribly hurtful. His evil shirtlessness will have to serve as my consolation in the meantime. HIS EVIL LEATHER-PANTSED SHIRTLESSNESS.
• OUCH. YOU EVIL, EVIL MOTHERFUCKER. I have to keep hitting pause because it's so exactly what you don't want to hear from the guy who just took your virginity, even when he's not really the guy who took your virginity anymore because his soul is gone, but you don't know that yet. OMFG. What's really going on is so much worse than it even seems to Buffy at this moment. I actually feel kind of sick.
• KEEP YOUR HUGE EVIL MITTS OFF WILLOW, YOU BASTARD. But when you grab Buffy and kiss her and throw her down, that's actually still pretty hot, vampire face, fangs, and all.
• Something set it off all right: Buffy's ladyparts. Willow KNOWS.
• HE WANTS TO HURT HER BECAUSE SHE MADE HIM FEEL LIKE A HUMAN BEING. HE WANTS TO HURT HER LIKE HE HURT DRUSILLA. *rips off clothes and rolls naked in the angst*
• And there was much in the way of heavy breathing and expanses of skin and shadowy heaving of bedcovers. If only this had been on HBO or Showtime.
• BUFFY/ANGEL SMACKDOWN OF EVILLY BANTERING SEXUALLY THREATENING THERMONUCLEAR HOTNESS.
• But she can't kill him. YET. OMG.
STAB ME IN THE HEART, SHOW. STAB ME IN THE HEART AND THEN TWIST THE KNIFE.
Comfort me, flist!
Tell me happy things! Give me fic recs! HELP.