Looking back on the last ten years of my lj
... as far as schemes went this may have been my crowning glory.
Hi! My name is Mort and I am a pothead.
So I was thinking about all the money being made in the camwhore business and how I am missing out on the big bucks by not flashing my mommy-tits to complete strangers in front of their computers with their pants down around their ankles surfing the web for TITillating pictures of the naked female form. Perhaps even MY naked female form. Being as I am a bit shy about blatantly letting it all hang out my first thought was, Hey! Why can't I steal pictures during my OWN foraging for wank-fodder and PRETEND that it's me? They wouldn't know the difference, and to be perfectly honest, there are scads of pics out there that look better than me. But when it came right down to it, I am an honest woman at heart and to pull the polyester over unsuspecting fellow porn-seekers just didn't sit right.
So after drinking myself into a stoopid one night, I hit upon a perfect business plan, to cash in on the camwhore profits whilst keeping a shred of decency.
PinPorn!
I just KNOW that there are thousands of people out there willing to part with their hard-earned cash to see a piece of my naked anatomy encased in thousands of sharp li'l pins. To kick things off, I have decided to give YOU dear readers, a small taste of my new venture without even opening your wallets. I want to hear some feedback from you, how can I improve my product, ideas for other photo shoots, etc. And so, without further ado..
Here is a picture of my O face. What do you think? Needs more expression?
I found out very quickly that I must remember to close my eyes when I do the face shots (hence the O face in question).
This is me drinking deeply from a bottle of wine (because my ex husband wouldn't volunteer his delicate member and chasing him about the house naked and wielding Mr. Pinhead did not help). Erotic, no?
This is a picture of my fat bum pressed up against Mr. Pinhead because I can. It felt lovely it did, although the dog wouldn't let me do her face after. She of the tongue that licked her OWN bum. Hypocrite. It was probably wise of her anyway because I hadn't trained her to close her eyes on command.
I just know that there is a niche market out there for the long-toed foot fans *vink*
Hi! My name is Mort and I am a pothead.
So I was thinking about all the money being made in the camwhore business and how I am missing out on the big bucks by not flashing my mommy-tits to complete strangers in front of their computers with their pants down around their ankles surfing the web for TITillating pictures of the naked female form. Perhaps even MY naked female form. Being as I am a bit shy about blatantly letting it all hang out my first thought was, Hey! Why can't I steal pictures during my OWN foraging for wank-fodder and PRETEND that it's me? They wouldn't know the difference, and to be perfectly honest, there are scads of pics out there that look better than me. But when it came right down to it, I am an honest woman at heart and to pull the polyester over unsuspecting fellow porn-seekers just didn't sit right.
So after drinking myself into a stoopid one night, I hit upon a perfect business plan, to cash in on the camwhore profits whilst keeping a shred of decency.
PinPorn!
I just KNOW that there are thousands of people out there willing to part with their hard-earned cash to see a piece of my naked anatomy encased in thousands of sharp li'l pins. To kick things off, I have decided to give YOU dear readers, a small taste of my new venture without even opening your wallets. I want to hear some feedback from you, how can I improve my product, ideas for other photo shoots, etc. And so, without further ado..
Here is a picture of my O face. What do you think? Needs more expression?
I found out very quickly that I must remember to close my eyes when I do the face shots (hence the O face in question).
This is me drinking deeply from a bottle of wine (because my ex husband wouldn't volunteer his delicate member and chasing him about the house naked and wielding Mr. Pinhead did not help). Erotic, no?
This is a picture of my fat bum pressed up against Mr. Pinhead because I can. It felt lovely it did, although the dog wouldn't let me do her face after. She of the tongue that licked her OWN bum. Hypocrite. It was probably wise of her anyway because I hadn't trained her to close her eyes on command.
I just know that there is a niche market out there for the long-toed foot fans *vink*