Marvin
Off to Wal*Mart with myself, to exchange the previously mentioned hunk of shit fan for a suitable one and to pick up a new cage for the mice that I'm keeping. First thing I did was exchange the Holmes model in order to get my cash back. After waiting in line for an eternity and a half, it was finally my turn to receive my cash return. The little old lady at the register asks why I'm returning it. "Because I don't like it", is my reply. Why don't you like it, she asks. "Because it's a piece of shit", I fire back at her. That certainly shut her up as she did the paperwork and handed me my cash. Over in the pet section, they're completely sold out on the cages since, what was it, Friday or so? Sheesh, didn't think that would be such a hot seller.
After hacking my way through (and staring at) the mob of breast-exposing, summer-dressed females, it was time to hit up hardware to purchase a new fan. The first thing I notice is that there is no longer a fan aisle over here. Now, I used to work in Wal*Mart, and I used to work right beside hardware, and I just purchased a fan last week, so I was fairly certain that the fans were supposed to be in this general vicinity. 404 - Fans Not Found was the message that hardware sent out. So, like any good customer, I looked around for the man in charge of hardware. Marvin was found, an older fellow who used to work there when I was an employee back in the day. For those who don't remember (I doubt anyone does), Marvin and myself used to fuck around with each other quite often... lots of pranking, lots of joking, lots of juvenile junk. So, I walk up to him while he's helping another customer.
C: Excuse me, my good man, where are the fans located at now?
M: They're down by the bicycles now.
At this point, based on the look on his face and tone of voice, he totally does not remember me. It's been a few years since I worked there, but sheesh, I'm a long-haired, goatee'd, obese fellow. Thought I had more of a distinct look.
C: Why in the fuck would they move them down by the bikes? I swear, this store moves shit around just to fuck with the hard-working, paying customers.
At this point, I "stormed" off, but not before seeing the look of embarrassment on Marvin's face and the look of utter shock on the customer's faces. So classic, it was.
Off to the relocated fan aisle, and I picked up the BDWF7710 Black & Decker Digital Twin Window Fan (with Rainsafe Technology). Now, this is a fan. It has two fans, three speeds for each fan, intake / outtake controls for each fan, a digital read-out of the temperature (both inside the room and out), it beeps when you push the buttons (beeping things r0x0x0r0z), Rainsafe technology (if it rains outside, it automatically shuts itself off), and it even has a freaking remote control. After cleaning the man-juice off the side of the box, the plan was to go back to hardware and talk to Marvin a bit. He's with another customer, doesn't even see me. Rats. Over to pets, where I killed a bit of time looking at the fish. Back to hardware, Marvin's with yet another customer. Eff all this noise, and I pay for my godly fan before getting one last look at the insane amounts of exposed tit-flesh and leaving the store.
Poor Marvin. I probably ruined his night with my joke, and never even got to let him in on it. Haute Tension tonight. Excellent movie, but for anyone considering going to see it in theatres when it opens (as High Tension) on June 3rd... don't. The American release has been cut to shreds and dubbed with silly English voices. Buy a bootleg or a legit import version.
After hacking my way through (and staring at) the mob of breast-exposing, summer-dressed females, it was time to hit up hardware to purchase a new fan. The first thing I notice is that there is no longer a fan aisle over here. Now, I used to work in Wal*Mart, and I used to work right beside hardware, and I just purchased a fan last week, so I was fairly certain that the fans were supposed to be in this general vicinity. 404 - Fans Not Found was the message that hardware sent out. So, like any good customer, I looked around for the man in charge of hardware. Marvin was found, an older fellow who used to work there when I was an employee back in the day. For those who don't remember (I doubt anyone does), Marvin and myself used to fuck around with each other quite often... lots of pranking, lots of joking, lots of juvenile junk. So, I walk up to him while he's helping another customer.
C: Excuse me, my good man, where are the fans located at now?
M: They're down by the bicycles now.
At this point, based on the look on his face and tone of voice, he totally does not remember me. It's been a few years since I worked there, but sheesh, I'm a long-haired, goatee'd, obese fellow. Thought I had more of a distinct look.
C: Why in the fuck would they move them down by the bikes? I swear, this store moves shit around just to fuck with the hard-working, paying customers.
At this point, I "stormed" off, but not before seeing the look of embarrassment on Marvin's face and the look of utter shock on the customer's faces. So classic, it was.
Off to the relocated fan aisle, and I picked up the BDWF7710 Black & Decker Digital Twin Window Fan (with Rainsafe Technology). Now, this is a fan. It has two fans, three speeds for each fan, intake / outtake controls for each fan, a digital read-out of the temperature (both inside the room and out), it beeps when you push the buttons (beeping things r0x0x0r0z), Rainsafe technology (if it rains outside, it automatically shuts itself off), and it even has a freaking remote control. After cleaning the man-juice off the side of the box, the plan was to go back to hardware and talk to Marvin a bit. He's with another customer, doesn't even see me. Rats. Over to pets, where I killed a bit of time looking at the fish. Back to hardware, Marvin's with yet another customer. Eff all this noise, and I pay for my godly fan before getting one last look at the insane amounts of exposed tit-flesh and leaving the store.
Poor Marvin. I probably ruined his night with my joke, and never even got to let him in on it. Haute Tension tonight. Excellent movie, but for anyone considering going to see it in theatres when it opens (as High Tension) on June 3rd... don't. The American release has been cut to shreds and dubbed with silly English voices. Buy a bootleg or a legit import version.