Vegetarian.
Let's make us a feast
Sev'n courses of beast
Neither fine nor sublime,
But something that fills-
Just cause for your kills-
The tongue at the end of the crime.
I
Hoppers and flies are the first of your meal
Most primitive beings when you tear off the wings
They only fight back with their pitiful stings
Remember-the more legs, the better the snack
The slimy ones slurp, but the shells you can peal
The grasses hold candies and dandies out back!
Don't eat a legume:
You have to save room!
II
A fish is a dish good when fried or it's baked
Aquarium kitchens house famous filets!
My, how you've been the shark and eaten for days!
The colourful, spiney and hearty and flat
Are fishey no more when they're ground up and caked.
Fish don't have souls, but soles fried in fat-
Paradise in your teeth!
And barren is wheat.
III
The vipers and lizards give also a crunch
From tip of forked tongue to the end of the tail
You unhinge your jaw and gulp down the last scale
But who needs an asp, your father of sin?
Curse God and the Devil! Sit down and have lunch!
For breakfasts and luncheons and snacks and your din':
Serpentine pie
When herbs do not dry
IV
The rodents and rabbits are fourth in this eat
Furry and fuzzy-no cuddling!-it's rude.
No bugging and hugging and loving your food.
Perhaps you use bait and employ a nice trap
These munchies aren't bugs; to catch them's a feat.
But smarter and faster is better... and SNAP!
The rodent's in pain.
Don't touch the grain.
V
The fifth are the wisest and noblest of all!
Galloping gallant sends you hungry pangs
She shows off her mane; you show off your fangs.
A love horse is lovely when lovely flambéed
But if you're so hungry you may eat it raw;
The kicking had stopped right after it neighed.
Horse whispers solemn
Without sound of a beet.
VI
Or would you like tasting a dog's flesh instead?
Odiferous summons of Lassey, Red Rover,
They hit the spot well, to your plate they come over.
They fetch, they roll over, they speak, but at end:
The best of their tricks is for when they play dead,
And into the belly goes mankind's best friend.
A dogless collar.
But lives the flower.
VII
Six courses are done with one left to remain
Each dish that you ate was a creature much higher
In class and more noble than was the one prior.
Now this one's a treat, for he's king of the land
Imagine the taste of this beast when it's slain!
And so much to eat! Help me lift up the pan.
The silver plate.
It's only fate.
Let's make us a feast
Sev'n courses of beast
Neither fine nor sublime,
But something that fills-
Just cause for your kills-
The tongue at the end of the crime.
What was the last platter?-
Birds fried in batter?
What did you eat?
The dish was so sweet,
Why, all of its kind
Are held in your mind
To be the best of meat.
Now smile if you can,
For inside that pan
Was man.
Sev'n courses of beast
Neither fine nor sublime,
But something that fills-
Just cause for your kills-
The tongue at the end of the crime.
I
Hoppers and flies are the first of your meal
Most primitive beings when you tear off the wings
They only fight back with their pitiful stings
Remember-the more legs, the better the snack
The slimy ones slurp, but the shells you can peal
The grasses hold candies and dandies out back!
Don't eat a legume:
You have to save room!
II
A fish is a dish good when fried or it's baked
Aquarium kitchens house famous filets!
My, how you've been the shark and eaten for days!
The colourful, spiney and hearty and flat
Are fishey no more when they're ground up and caked.
Fish don't have souls, but soles fried in fat-
Paradise in your teeth!
And barren is wheat.
III
The vipers and lizards give also a crunch
From tip of forked tongue to the end of the tail
You unhinge your jaw and gulp down the last scale
But who needs an asp, your father of sin?
Curse God and the Devil! Sit down and have lunch!
For breakfasts and luncheons and snacks and your din':
Serpentine pie
When herbs do not dry
IV
The rodents and rabbits are fourth in this eat
Furry and fuzzy-no cuddling!-it's rude.
No bugging and hugging and loving your food.
Perhaps you use bait and employ a nice trap
These munchies aren't bugs; to catch them's a feat.
But smarter and faster is better... and SNAP!
The rodent's in pain.
Don't touch the grain.
V
The fifth are the wisest and noblest of all!
Galloping gallant sends you hungry pangs
She shows off her mane; you show off your fangs.
A love horse is lovely when lovely flambéed
But if you're so hungry you may eat it raw;
The kicking had stopped right after it neighed.
Horse whispers solemn
Without sound of a beet.
VI
Or would you like tasting a dog's flesh instead?
Odiferous summons of Lassey, Red Rover,
They hit the spot well, to your plate they come over.
They fetch, they roll over, they speak, but at end:
The best of their tricks is for when they play dead,
And into the belly goes mankind's best friend.
A dogless collar.
But lives the flower.
VII
Six courses are done with one left to remain
Each dish that you ate was a creature much higher
In class and more noble than was the one prior.
Now this one's a treat, for he's king of the land
Imagine the taste of this beast when it's slain!
And so much to eat! Help me lift up the pan.
The silver plate.
It's only fate.
Let's make us a feast
Sev'n courses of beast
Neither fine nor sublime,
But something that fills-
Just cause for your kills-
The tongue at the end of the crime.
What was the last platter?-
Birds fried in batter?
What did you eat?
The dish was so sweet,
Why, all of its kind
Are held in your mind
To be the best of meat.
Now smile if you can,
For inside that pan
Was man.