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Jade spent the night last night. We were gonna get fucked up and shit but we couldn't find anybody to call to deliver the shit to us. And I still need a cigarette. I seriously don't want anybody else but her.. I don't know if that's good or bad. And I'm not fuckin talking about Lynn. If your not completely illiterate you know who I'm talking about. I've never really wanted anybody else either, I dunno. I just quit trying anymore. I wish I could still go through this shit but I can't. Somehow something tells me I have to try, which pisses me right the fuck off cuz its my goddamn life, but yeah. This might be the last one I try for. Ever. Or maybe someday Ill find someone else, even though nobody could ever add up to anything that she is. I wish I could tell her everything, but hey, we all got our dirty little secrets that if we told someone they'd call us crazy and kick us out of their house. I highly doubt she would do that, but there is a small chance, and that small chance is one I can't take. Sorry Jessy. I just can't tell you right now. Peace.