Feb 28, 2006 09:40
Mentally worn
Current mood: stressed
Category: Life
So what a start to a week... and i still have a lot to come.
Today was just a matter of watching tiger and knowing that he's in his final moment's all scrunched up and hardly moving licking his lips like he's so thirsty but not being willing to drink... i just said goodnight to him... I told him it's ok to fall asleep now i just don't want him to suffer.. I love that cat soo much.... He honestly knows me better then any human on this earth.. He knows when i'm hurting both physically and mentally and has always been there to comfort me. My one friend who has been there through everything. Last week he turned 16 (i got him for my 5th birthday) So i know it's just time but it still hurts so much to not see him not himself... Probably just because i have been a mess for the past month or so anyways this is just pushing me over the edge to tears constantly.
So tomorrow Dad goes into surgery at like 7:30am he has to be at the hospital. This also has me rather nervous because he has to be put under again and he has such a hard time waking up... Just more stress i guess.
I'm sickly to go along with everything.. I'm getting a pretty bad cold have goo in my lungs no so nice and my cheeks have been swallon for the past 3 going on 4 days now.. Tonight it's all the way from where the jaw meets (it feels like it's broused there) through the whol cheekbone.. making it difficult to eat and to talk.. how lovely.. stupid freaking wisdom teeth.. The Dentist appt. for that is Wen just mostly i'll just be going in and he'll tell me that i need to go to an oral surgan most likly or so says mom at least.. I need to get them removed soon though.. First because i'm sick of my face swelling up and secondly because i run out of insurance as of the 31 of march.. how lovly. stupid job with not benifits.. I'm geting screwed totally with this job sigh..
That's the next thing stressing me out.. Knowing that i have to go in and face her tomorrow.. If she lectures me about friday i'm so scared that i'm going to snap and just walk out. Though i know that i can't do that the whole situation of the job in general has me so freaking angry right now. I feel like well one i don't do crap as far as doing hair goes which angers me cause that's what i went to school for.. but i also feel like i'm not getting paid enough to do the crap that i do do.. I pretty much mange the place because the others don't do crap when it comes to the books and money keeping stuff or any thing that goes wrong with any clients or anything in the shop i have to pretty much fix it.. I put up with to much crap to be getting paid this lil... When it comes to the client stuff i'm totally fine with my job but when it comes to what i do around there i'm not.. So latly i will admit i've been getting lazy. Kinda like it she's not going to apprechiate the fact that i'm here why should i put in any freaking extra effort.. Sigh..
So the rest of the week i guess we'll have to see what comes.. I need to relax or i'm going to snap.. not sure how to relax anymore though. But the way my thoughts are going latly arn't myself or arn't in the right direction so i need to figure something out.. Sigh..
Well enough for now.. I hope you all are having at least a tad better week then i am.. Buh byes now <3megz