I Want You To See Me
Before you read this, I want you to know this is not a teenage romanticism of cutting. I put it in here because it's something I occassionally during anxiety attacks, and it actually symbolizes me at my worst. I don't consider it a beautiful or admirable thing, and I don't show it off. Now:
In my long, royal dress
bedecked in things that sparkle
hair flowing, streaming
a cascade down my back
occasionally spilling across my shoulders
a dark flood in contrast
with my perfect white skin
milky by sight
silky to the touch
face exquisite
every feature outlined precisely
with the correct cosmetic tool
my movements graceful
challenging the swans
with every extension of my arm
I want you to see me like this
In my underwear
with no spunky designs
just a simple cotton
solid in color, modest in nature
no bra on to modify my shape
and make my breasts look
just like all the others
wearing a t-shirt
comfortable, cotton
tie dye, perhaps
hair up out of my face
out of my way
lacking its full potential
makeup removed
nothing to cover my imperfections
or accentuate my assets
a blank canvas
with which no one is working
I want you to see me like this
In ecstasy
my cheeks flushed
my smile wider than
the open space around me
a smile that reaches my eyes
which glisten, reflecting yours
skipping, jumping
spinning, pouncing
wanting you to join
in my parade for life
anxious to love you
anxious to love the world
I want you to see me like this
In a frenzy
blood dripping from my wrist
my face ashamed, afraid
my eyes and lips
swollen and red
my body shaking
from the demon begging to escape
fighting, scratching
kicking, screaming
no real foe for which this passion exists
just a girl and frustration
wanting to sleep
wanting your help
I want you to see me like this
I want you to see me like this
I want you to love me like this.
In my long, royal dress
bedecked in things that sparkle
hair flowing, streaming
a cascade down my back
occasionally spilling across my shoulders
a dark flood in contrast
with my perfect white skin
milky by sight
silky to the touch
face exquisite
every feature outlined precisely
with the correct cosmetic tool
my movements graceful
challenging the swans
with every extension of my arm
I want you to see me like this
In my underwear
with no spunky designs
just a simple cotton
solid in color, modest in nature
no bra on to modify my shape
and make my breasts look
just like all the others
wearing a t-shirt
comfortable, cotton
tie dye, perhaps
hair up out of my face
out of my way
lacking its full potential
makeup removed
nothing to cover my imperfections
or accentuate my assets
a blank canvas
with which no one is working
I want you to see me like this
In ecstasy
my cheeks flushed
my smile wider than
the open space around me
a smile that reaches my eyes
which glisten, reflecting yours
skipping, jumping
spinning, pouncing
wanting you to join
in my parade for life
anxious to love you
anxious to love the world
I want you to see me like this
In a frenzy
blood dripping from my wrist
my face ashamed, afraid
my eyes and lips
swollen and red
my body shaking
from the demon begging to escape
fighting, scratching
kicking, screaming
no real foe for which this passion exists
just a girl and frustration
wanting to sleep
wanting your help
I want you to see me like this
I want you to see me like this
I want you to love me like this.