I don't want to be alone
Pairing: JacexAlec
Rating: M for sex
Summary: Set in CoA. Shortly after Jace discovers his father is still alive, and that he has a sister he thought he was in love with, he goes into sulking. Alec is worried about Jace and tries to talk to him, and things take an interesting turn in which they learn what it means to be parabatai.
A/N: Okay, so this in a two or three shot, and it is slash. This is Jalec, ofc. And they really are pretty much canon, I'm not gonna go into my whole argument for it here. But I will say this. If they're closer than brothers, what should that mean? Closer than brothers only equals lovers.
X.X.X
Alec watched Jace march angrily out of the kitchen, slamming the door shut behind him. With a sigh Alec offered Isabelle a blank look, before walking out of the kitchen himself. It took so little to set Jace off now, ever since he'd found out Valentine was his father, and Clary his sister.
For the past three days, he'd been holed up in the Institute, barely talking to anyone, and just moping about in his room mostly. All Isabelle had done was mention Valentine and Jace was instantly upset, then when she continued on the subject of what an evil creep the man was, Jace had gotten even more angry.
In the end, Jace had told her to stop talking about the subject, but in a far less kind way. Then, when Isabelle had pointed out he was being an ass, he'd only gotten more angry, ranting for a bit before angrily marching off to sulk in his room.
Alec was starting to worry about Jace, he usually acted a bit distant, but this was more serious. Alec had never seen Jace act like he had been for the last few days. He'd never seemed quite so… vulnerable, before. And seeing Jace like that bothered Alec. Jace-who charged into battle with demons without a second thought, Jace-who was always so calm and confident. Jace-who never had a doubt or feat. Seeing Jace vulnerable was something Alec had only seen once before; when the younger Shadowhunter had arrived at the Institute.
Then he'd been a small bit vulnerable with the recent 'loss' of his father. But this was different. Even then, Jace had still been in control in his own way. And he hadn't ever broken down. But now, Jace seemed like he was on the edge of a cliff, with the plunge into oblivion only inches away.
The idea of Jace ever breaking down seemed completely unreal to Alec. And he didn't want to believe it was possible. The dark haired Shadowhunter knew Jace needed to talk to someone now, whether he liked it or not-and knowing Jace, he probably wouldn't like it.
Alec waited outside of the kitchen for a moment, waiting until Jace was in his room. And then walked around the Institute for a bit so Jace would have a chance to cool off. After he'd waited about thirty minutes, Alec headed for Jace's room. Determined to get him to talk.
Alec paused outside the door, taking a second to take a deep breath before knocking. He heard a muffled 'go away', but had expected as much. First, Alec tried the knob. Locked, just like he figured it would be. Alec pulled his stele out of one of the various pockets he had. Then, drew the necessary rune to get into the room.
The door's lock made a little clicking sound, and with a satisfied grin Alec opened the door and stepped into the room. Then quickly ducked back when a razor sharp throwing knife thudded into the wall by his head. "What the fuck, Jace?" Alec said, more surprised than angry.
Alec cautiously stepped back into the room, and was met with the sight of Jace sitting on his bed, back against the wall. His dark gold hair looking slightly disheveled. Jace looked up at Alec with a blank expression, "I told you to go away." He said.
"I know, but what kind of best friend would I be if I listened to you?" Alec said rhetorically. A slight grin played over Jace's lips for a brief second, before his face returned to the blank, almost lifeless expression.
Alec stepped all the way into the room, shutting the door behind him and moving to stand in front of Jace's bed. "Look, Jace." Alec said, "I know you're entitled to be angry, given what's happened this last week… But, I can't let you go on like this without at least trying to help." He sat down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Jace.
"There's nothing you can do to help, Alec." Jace said, keeping his tone cold and emotionless. "Not if you won't let me try." Said Alec, "Jace, I've never seen you like this… It scares me. You've always been the one person I could always count on to be strong, no matter what." He looked at Jace as he spoke, but the other teen refused to meet his gaze.
"So, what? I'm not allowed to be affected by anything?" Jace asked, "You can think I'm strong and unfeeling all you like, but I'm not." He added, the vulnerability that Alec found so shocking creeping into his voice. Alec couldn't help but want to take Jace into his arms and comfort him in that moment, but he knew Jace wouldn't respond well to that.
"I don't mean it like that, Jace." Alec said, "But I can't stand seeing you like this… I want to help you however I can." He added, moving a little bit closer so Jace would have to look at him. The gaze that met Alec's was cold and lifeless. Like it had been drained of all the youth and intelligenence that used to make those eyes shine.
"Can you make Valentine not my father? Can you make Clary not my sister?" Jace asked, his eyes staring into Alec's with an almost pleading desperation. "I was happier when I thought my father was dead. When I thought Clary was just Clary…" He said, tone remaining pained and vulnerable.
"Jace. Valentine is not your father. He abandoned you, he lost all rights to you then." Alec said, placing a hand on Jace's leg in a comforting manner. Jace looked down at the hand for a moment, before looking up and meeting Alec's gaze. "I-I thought I loved her, Alec… I thought I loved her." Jace said, surprising Alec by changing the subject.
That subject was a bit touchy for Alec, he was in love with Jace. And when he'd found out Clary was Jace's sister, well, in all honesty he'd been relieved. But the look of pure broken-heartedness on Jace's face in that moment made Alec want nothing more than to take his pain away.
"Jace." Alec said, giving his leg a reassuring squeeze. "It's all right, you didn't know…" Jace looked down for a second, before he lifted his head back to meet Alec's waiting gaze. "Alec. I kissed her. And I liked it…" He said, looking at Alec as if begging him to fix everything.
"Jace, you didn't know. It's not your fault, okay?" Alec said, moving a little closer to Jace. "Than who's fault is it?" Jace asked, looking down at Alec's hand on his leg, only a couple inches below his thigh.
"It's no one's fault, Jace. No one could have known you and Clary were related." Alec said. Jace kept looking down, his fairly short dark-golden hair hiding his eyes. "Alec. I-I just feel like I'm so alone…" He said, still looking down, "I found out I have a father who isn't dead, and a sister… And yet I've never felt more alone."
Alec couldn't take it anymore, he put his hand under Jace's chin and lifted his head so he was looking into the other Shadowhunter's eyes. "Jace, you're not alone. You'll never be alone. You'll always have Izzy, and mom and dad… And me." Alec said, before pulling Jace into a tight hug. Wrapping his arms around the slightly younger teen and holding him close.
Jace just melted into the hug, letting Alec be his light in the darkness threatening to swallow him up. They melded together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle fit with one another. Jace just wanted to stay like that, wanted to be held-to hold someone. He fell back onto the bed, pulling Alec down with him, keeping an arm wrapped around his waist.
Alec was a bit surprised, Jace never let him hug him for very long. But he was glad he was now. Alec turned on his side, his arms coming in between their chests, and to his further surprise, Jace locked his arms into an entwined position with Alec's, and their legs became tangled in an intertwined way. With Jace's laced with one between and one over Alec's.
Jace's face only inches from his own made Alec feel like blushing, but he managed not to. The golden-haired teen in front of him looked so peaceful in that moment that Alec didn't want to do anything to mess it up. Jace was staring at Alec, and before Alec could speak, Jace said "Don't. I don't want to talk right now… Just-please, just lay with me for a while?" His breath ghosting across Alec's forehead.
The plea behind that made it impossible for Alec to say no-not that he'd want to) "Don't worry. I'll stay here as long as you want me too." Alec said, a bit of possessiveness creeping into his tone. Jace offered a smile in appreciation. After that, Alec thought Jace would perhaps close his eyes and sleep. But instead he kept staring at Alec. And the situation was becoming a bit awkward.
Jace continued to just stare into Alec's eyes. His gaze occasionally wandering around-across his strong jaw-line, to his high cheekbones, and down to his sculpted, lips. Jace was confused by what he was feeling. He'd always felt closer than a brother to Alec-as was the way of Parabatai-But he'd never felt quite like this before… But he felt strangely comfortable feeling what he was feeling. It just seemed right.
Alec's eye's were beginning to wander too. And he wanted to reach up and outline Jace's jaw with his finger. To trace his beautiful red-pink lips. To lean forward and kiss those lips…
"Alec." Jace said, a feeling of uncharacteristic knot of nervousness growing in his chest. "Do-do you like anyone?" he asked. Alec seemed puzzled by the question. "Not really… Why?" Alec said. "Well, it's just that I just never see you with anyone. I just thought it was a bit weird." Jace covered, thoughts swirling in his head. Jace felt strange, he was used to being more straightforward, but he didn't want to risk messing up this situation.
Alec just shrugged as best he could in their position. But inside he was beginning to fear that Jace might suspect he was gay. "Why-why don't I ever see you with anyone, I mean." Jace asked. "I don't know… I've just never found someone I like all that much I guess." He lied, not wanting to make Jace revolted by telling him the truth.
Jace didn't buy it. There had been plenty of girls Alec could've dated-girls who would've done anything for the chance to date Alec. Jace and Isabelle had both had their relationships over the years, but Alec had always remained single.
Jace decided to stop questioning him though. The thought of angering Alec, or making him uncomfortable-and making him leave, was something Jace didn't want to do. He didn't want to be alone right now, and here with Alec he felt safe, like all the problems in his life were just gone.
When Jace stopped questioning him, Alec was relieved. He let his eyes wander again, taking in the gorgeous features in front of him. Jace was beginning to feel the urge to hold Alec closer. But he was also feeling a little bit uncomfortable. One part of him felt that what he felt was right, and that he should pull Alec closer. But one part told him that he might chase Alec away.
After laying together for a while, Alec eventually sat up. Needing to stretch since he was becoming cramped from being in the same position for so long. Jace sat up too, both of them remaining in a somewhat uncomfortable silence. After he'd stretched Alec stood up, then turned back towards Jace, stifling a yawn. "It's getting late." Alec said. Thinking that Jace was ready for him to leave now. The other boy usually didn't like to stay around people much when he was in a bad mood.
A feeling of dread blossomed in Jace's chest at that moment, he didn't want Alec to leave. He didn't want to be alone. When Jace didn't immediately respond, Alec started to turn, saying, "Well, I'd better go see-" But he was cut off by Jace's hand grabbing his wrist.
When he looked down at Jace, he was met with a look of desperation for a brief second. Before the other boy composed himself enough to hide it. "Wait. You don't have to go… I mean, you could stay the night in here-if you want." Jace said.
Alec wanted to-he wanted to so badly… But he knew if he spent too much more time with Jace while he was in this strange mood, he wouldn't be able to control himself. "That's alright… I need to go check on Izzy, and-" Alec tried to say. But stopped when Jace's grip on his wrist tightened to a point where it was painful. "Please-please, just don't go…" Said Jace, that look of haunting desperation, fear, even, crossing his face. "I just-I don't want to be alone tonight." Jace said, swallowing his pride because he couldn't stand the thought of being alone right now.
Alec knew he had no hope of getting out of this now. So he smiled down at Jace, "Okay, I'll stay." He said, sitting down again beside Jace. "So, what do you want to do, then?" Said Alec, "I mean, how're we going to pass time? It's only ten-'o-clock." Jace looked over at him side-long, "What, is my company not good enough for you?" He asked jokingly. Alec grinned, glad Jace was acting like himself again. "No, it's not. I need things to do." Alec answered, only half-joking.
Jace pushed him over playfully, knocking him down onto the floor. "Well, too bad. You just get the honor of being in my awe-inspiring presence." He said smugly, looking down at Alec with a grin. Alec darted his hand up and grabbed Jace's wrist, pulling him towards the floor too. Jace, always up for a fight-though it was only play, responded by turning his fall into a tackle. Knocking Alec down onto his back. Jace quickly tried to gain the advantadge, but Alec was quicker. He twisted out of under Jace, and rolled, using his momentum to flip Jace over.
Now Alec was on top of Jace, grabbing a wrist and pinning it down above his head. But as he tried to grab for the other, Jace bucked his hips, nearly dislodging Alec, and causing him to lose his grip on Jace's wrist. Jace then rolled his hips, causing Alec to lose his balance and fall to the side, when he caught himself, Jace gave a little extra shove with his freed hand, sending Alec sprawling to the ground. Then Jace was on his back, reaching for Alec's wrists.
Alec managed to avoid Jace's searching hands long enough to twist around in his grip, but then Jace caught his wrists and pinned them above his head. The hold was causing Jace to lean over Alec, hovering just inches above him. And now their faces were only about seven inches apart. Both of them frozen, staring into each other's eyes. A blush coloring Alec's cheeks. Alec could feel Jace pressed so closely against him. Could feel his now intense gaze locked with his own.
Jace instinctively lowered his face, bringing them to a mere inch or two part. "Jace-" Alec said, his breath ghosting over Jace's lips. But he was cut off by the press of those lips against his own. It was a hard firm kiss, at first just Jace's lips pressed firmly together against his own. But then Jace started moving his lips, and Alec responded by moving his own against the other boys. The kiss became passionate and deep, their tongues slipping out and entwining. Jace still holding Alec's hands pinned above his head.
The kiss was the most amazing thing either of them had ever felt. Tingles of electricity shot out through the contact, spreading throughout there bodies. Alec lost a moan into the kiss when Jace bit down on his lower lip, drawing a drop of blood, flavoring the kiss with the metallic taste of blood.
When Jace pulled up, Alec gasped in the much needed breath, and saw Jace looking down at him looking like a dark and beautiful angel. His even further disheveled hair looking like a dark-gold halo. And his eyes dancing with lust and desire, staring intensely into Alec's.
Part II
Alec looked up into Jace's lust filled eyes, mesmerized by the golden orbs. Tingles of electricity jolted out from everywhere they were touching. Jace grinned down at Alec, then climbed off him. At first, Alec thought Jace didn't want this, but when Jace reached down and pulled him up Alec was reassured by a quick, but passionate kiss on the lips.
Jace's hands came down to rest on Alec's hips, and Alec moved closer to Jace so that they were pressed flush against each other. Alec brought a hand up to the back of the younger Shadowhunter's neck and pulled him into another kiss. Deep and passionate, their tongues meeting in a battle for dominance.
Alec trapped Jace's tongue under his own, then sucked it into his mouth. And Jace began to plunder that mouth, roaming over every inch and enjoying the sweet taste of Alec, while Alec brushed his tongue against Jace's as it explored his mouth.
When they pulled back from the kiss, Alec's hands began to wonder over Jace's body, riding up under his shirt and feeling the smooth, firm muscle of his abdomen. Jace, meanwhile was kissing and nipping his way down Alec's neck. A growl of annoyance leaving his lips when he came into contact with the thin black material of Alec's shirt.
Alec staggered back a step when Jace tore the fabric from his body. Throwing the torn halves he was holding aside. Alec, being less impulsive, grabbed Jace's shirt by the hem and lifted it over his head. Once their chests were both bare they crashed back together in a deep kiss.
And Alec began backing Jace up to the bed. And when the backs of his knees came into contact with the bed, Alec gave a little shove, knocking Jace back onto the white-sheeted bed. Then Alec walked around to the other side, looking down at Jace, who was staring up and behind him, looking at Alec.
Alec leaned down onto the bed, bracing his arms on either side of Jace's head, then, leaning his head down, he kissed Jace, moving his lips against the slightly younger teen's. Jace parted Alec's lips with his tongue, slipping it into Alec's mouth. From their inverted position, Jace's tongue was brushing Alec's perfectly, stroking it and igniting another small battle for dominance.
When Alec pulled back to gasp in breath, Jace grabbed him by the waist and pulled him all the way onto the bed, flipping him so that he landed on his back. Then Jace climbed on top, straddling him. The growing bulges in both their pants pressed against each other.
Both let out a little moan at the pressure. Before Jace leaned down and kissed Alec hard. It was a rough, passionate, needy kiss. And Alec bit down on Jace's lip, drawing blood, the same way the other teen had done to him earlier. When Jace pulled back, both their lips were red and swollen, and Jace had a trickle of blood trailing down his chin.
Alec leaned up and licked at the blood with his tongue, before gently running it over the cut. Jace, however, seemed not to mind the pain at all, and pressed his lips against Alec's roughly again.
When Jace pushed Alec back down, his hands began roaming over the older teen's pale, muscular chest. His finger's pausing to tweak a nipple, which drew a throaty moan from Alec. Then Jace began kissing the area's his hands had been a moment before. Trailing down his neck, across his chest, and pausing to nip softly at a nipple.
Alec arched into the touch, a moan rolling out of his throat. And Jace was grinning when he pulled back. "I never knew you were so vocal, Alec…" Jace murmured huskily. Causing a light blush to color Alec's cheeks, "Well it's sort of hard to keep quiet when you're doing things like that." Alec said, before pulling Jace back down into a kiss.
Soon all rational thought ran, replaced by their growing need-which was evident in the large bulges which were pressed together at their groins. Soon Jace was at Alec's side, unbuttoning Alec's pants, then sliding down the zipper, before pulling the jeans down to Alec's thighs.
Alec's member stood proud in his boxer-briefs, tenting the thin gray fabric and leaving little to imagination. Jace grinned, leaning in and mouthing the head of his length through the material. Tasting the sweet-salty liquid which had created a wet spot at the tip.
Alec instinctively bucked his hips, thrusting up towards Jace's mouth. Jace chuckled, before leaning up and gripping the hem of Alec's boxer-briefs, and pulling the grey article of clothing down to his thighs along with the jeans. Alec's member sprung free, standing upright and hard. Jace was impressed by the length, he'd had a pretty good idea of how big Alec's cock was through the underwear, but in it's naked glory it was even more impressive.
Alec squirmed a bit, slightly uncomfortable with being scrutinized in such a manner, but Jace smiled up at him mischievously, before lowering his mouth and experimentally darting out his tongue to lick the tip of Alec's member. Jace lapped up a bit more of the sweet, slightly salty pre-cum that was dripping from Alec's cock. Then took the head into his mouth, closing his lips around the shaft and applying suction.
He thought he was doing pretty good judging from the moan that rumbled out of Alec's lips, "Fuck, Jace." Alec murmured. And Jace sucked harder, lowering his mouth until he had as much of Alec's member in his mouth that he could fit. Which was only about two quarters. Alec struggled not to thrust up into Jace's mouth, and he refrained from doing so. Not wanting to hurt Jace, or make him take more than he could handle.
Jace ran his tongue around Alec's shaft, moving his head up then back down, wrapping his tongue partially around the length of Alec's member. Jace moved up and down, sucking and occasionally scraping his teeth along the head. Alec moaned, and when he couldn't take it any more, thrust up into Jace's mouth, causing him to gag slightly.
Jace pulled back, removing his mouth from Alec's cock. And Alec let out a little whine at the loss of contact. But Jace quieted him with a kiss, and Alec could taste a hint of saltiness on Jace's mouth-the taste of his pre-cum.
Alec's cock throbbed with the thought that he was tasting a bit of himself on Jace's tongue, and he ground his hips against Jace's, who was now on top of him again.
Alec moaned at the friction, but longed for skin-on-skin contact. Seeming to read his mind, Jace pulled back, leaning up a bit and jerking his jeans and underwear down in one smooth movement. Then pulled them all the way off and throwing them behind him. Jace grabbed Alec's jeans, which were still around his thighs, and pulled them off, along with the underwear, before throwing them into the same pile with his jeans.
Then Alec got his first good look at Jace's member. It was easily as big as his own considerable length-over eight inches, and pretty thick. Alec could see it pulse with Jace's heartbeat, and he felt the urge to have that length sheathed inside him.
Jace leaned down over Alec, their members brushing, and Jace braced an arm on either side of Alec, hovering just above him. "Alec-are you sure you want this?" Jace said, involuntarily grinding his member against Alec's. "Of course I want this. I've wanted this for years." Alec said, partly moaning out the words.
Jace grinned, "How many years?" He asked, playfully grinding his member against Alec's again. "Mhmm, since you were about fifteen." Alec murmured, looking up Jace. Jace smiled, "Why didn't you say anything? We could've done this years ago." He said. "Well, let's stop wasting time and get to it, then." Alec said, his aching member straining for release. Jace just grinned and ground against him one more time, before moving back and leaning over the side of the bed to a nightstand beside it.
He came back holding a bottle of lube. Jace spread Alec's legs and positioned himself in between them, leaning up on his knees. Jace popped open the cap of the lube and poured some onto his fingers, then set the bottle aside, closed. Jace ran his hand down Alec's thigh, moving it down between the crevice of his ass, and running it lightly over his entrance.
Alec held still, knowing this would be uncomfortable at first, and then painful. But he knew the pain was worth the pleasure that would come. Jace pressed his finger against Alec's hole, rubbing around first, then gently applying more pressure, sliding a finger into Alec's entrance. Alec squirmed a little at the discomfort, but otherwise remained still.
Jace moved the finger around a little, moving it in and out, stimulating the ring of muscle. Then he gently pressed in a second finger, moving in and out at first, before the scissoring began. Once he'd stretched Alec's entrance enough, he added a third finger, causing Alec to wince slightly, but behind the slight pain there was pleasure.
First Jace pumped his fingers in and out of Alec's hole, then arched his fingers up, and judging from the moan that emanated from Alec, he'd hit his prostate. Jace pressed into that spot again, causing Alec to arch back onto the fingers. "H-Hurry up, Jace." Alec panted out, needing to be entered now.
Jace grinned, then obediently removed his fingers from Alec's hole, and leaned down to plant a kiss on Alec's lips. While he was kissing Alec, Jace positioned himself, pressing the tip of his cock against Alec's entrance. Then, as Alec pressed back against Jace's member, he thrust into Alec's hole. Alec gasped in pain, biting down on Jace's already bitten lip, the metallic taste of blood flavoring their kiss.
Jace held still, it was all he could do to keep from thrusting into Alec's hot tightness. Soon, Alec couldn't take it anymore, he was as ready as he'd ever be. "Go." He said, rocking his hips against Jace. Jace, not needing to be told twice, pulled back and thrust back in. Then changed his angle, so that he could give Alec the same pleasure he was feeling.
All thoughts of pain fled as soon as Jace's member hit that spot inside of Alec, and a moan tore itself from his lips just as stars danced before his eyes. Alec began thrusting back against Jace, meeting the other teen's thrust half-way.
Just as Alec reached down to relieve his own member's need for friction, Jace's hand closed around his length. And Alec bucked back onto Jace's member. Desperate for Jace to stroke him.
Jace happily complied, setting a steady pace for his strokes and thrusts. And soon he was pounding into Alec's hole with abandon, while he quickly jerked his hand up and down on Alec's cock. Alec was close, and judging from moans and obscenities that were emanating from his mouth, he would come soon.
And Jace wasn't far from that himself, the tight heat of Alec's hole was driving him over the edge. With a few more rough strokes from Jace to his member, Alec came with a cry of, "Jace!" his seed spattering both his and Jace's chests and abdomens. As Alec's muscle's contracted on Jace's cock, the gold-haired teen was driven over that edge, and he thrust in as deep as possible before coming with a moan of, "Alec…" his seed filling Alec's insides.
Jace thrust a few more times, while Alec's anal muscles continued to contract, milking his member of his seed. When his orgasm ended, Jace collapsed on top of Alec, not even having the strength to remove his member from Alec's tight heat.
Jace's head nuzzled into the crook of Alec's neck, and he placed a kiss just under Alec's jaw. "God… That was amazing." Jace panted out. Alec leaned his head down and kissed Jace, before pulling back, "I love you." He said, his exhaustion plain in his voice. Jace smiled, all his earlier fears and doubts gone, "I love you, too." Jace said, before pulling up and sliding his softening member out of Alec. Jace grabbed the blanket folded at the edge of his bed and pulled it over Alec and he as he lay back down beside him.
Alec rolled onto his side to face Jace, wincing a bit at the slight dull ache coming from his ass, but the pain was worth it, he knew. Jace turned to face Alec, too. Their faces only inches apart, and their naked bodies entwined. Jace leaned over and kissed Alec, a soft, gentle loving kiss, conveying all the words and thanks he wanted to say. Then he pulled back, snuggling a bit closer to Alec before closing his eyes, his forehead resting against Alec's. "I love you…" Alec whispered again, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep in Jace's arms. And Alec had never been happier than in that moment.
A/N: Okay, so what'd you think? That was my first time writing sex, btw. How did I do? Review! Seriously, please just do it. And anyone who writes, you should write a Jalec story. They have no where near enough slash. And that is a grave injustice. An injustice that must be fixed. Anyway, thank you for reading, and double thanks to those who review.
Rating: M for sex
Summary: Set in CoA. Shortly after Jace discovers his father is still alive, and that he has a sister he thought he was in love with, he goes into sulking. Alec is worried about Jace and tries to talk to him, and things take an interesting turn in which they learn what it means to be parabatai.
A/N: Okay, so this in a two or three shot, and it is slash. This is Jalec, ofc. And they really are pretty much canon, I'm not gonna go into my whole argument for it here. But I will say this. If they're closer than brothers, what should that mean? Closer than brothers only equals lovers.
X.X.X
Alec watched Jace march angrily out of the kitchen, slamming the door shut behind him. With a sigh Alec offered Isabelle a blank look, before walking out of the kitchen himself. It took so little to set Jace off now, ever since he'd found out Valentine was his father, and Clary his sister.
For the past three days, he'd been holed up in the Institute, barely talking to anyone, and just moping about in his room mostly. All Isabelle had done was mention Valentine and Jace was instantly upset, then when she continued on the subject of what an evil creep the man was, Jace had gotten even more angry.
In the end, Jace had told her to stop talking about the subject, but in a far less kind way. Then, when Isabelle had pointed out he was being an ass, he'd only gotten more angry, ranting for a bit before angrily marching off to sulk in his room.
Alec was starting to worry about Jace, he usually acted a bit distant, but this was more serious. Alec had never seen Jace act like he had been for the last few days. He'd never seemed quite so… vulnerable, before. And seeing Jace like that bothered Alec. Jace-who charged into battle with demons without a second thought, Jace-who was always so calm and confident. Jace-who never had a doubt or feat. Seeing Jace vulnerable was something Alec had only seen once before; when the younger Shadowhunter had arrived at the Institute.
Then he'd been a small bit vulnerable with the recent 'loss' of his father. But this was different. Even then, Jace had still been in control in his own way. And he hadn't ever broken down. But now, Jace seemed like he was on the edge of a cliff, with the plunge into oblivion only inches away.
The idea of Jace ever breaking down seemed completely unreal to Alec. And he didn't want to believe it was possible. The dark haired Shadowhunter knew Jace needed to talk to someone now, whether he liked it or not-and knowing Jace, he probably wouldn't like it.
Alec waited outside of the kitchen for a moment, waiting until Jace was in his room. And then walked around the Institute for a bit so Jace would have a chance to cool off. After he'd waited about thirty minutes, Alec headed for Jace's room. Determined to get him to talk.
Alec paused outside the door, taking a second to take a deep breath before knocking. He heard a muffled 'go away', but had expected as much. First, Alec tried the knob. Locked, just like he figured it would be. Alec pulled his stele out of one of the various pockets he had. Then, drew the necessary rune to get into the room.
The door's lock made a little clicking sound, and with a satisfied grin Alec opened the door and stepped into the room. Then quickly ducked back when a razor sharp throwing knife thudded into the wall by his head. "What the fuck, Jace?" Alec said, more surprised than angry.
Alec cautiously stepped back into the room, and was met with the sight of Jace sitting on his bed, back against the wall. His dark gold hair looking slightly disheveled. Jace looked up at Alec with a blank expression, "I told you to go away." He said.
"I know, but what kind of best friend would I be if I listened to you?" Alec said rhetorically. A slight grin played over Jace's lips for a brief second, before his face returned to the blank, almost lifeless expression.
Alec stepped all the way into the room, shutting the door behind him and moving to stand in front of Jace's bed. "Look, Jace." Alec said, "I know you're entitled to be angry, given what's happened this last week… But, I can't let you go on like this without at least trying to help." He sat down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Jace.
"There's nothing you can do to help, Alec." Jace said, keeping his tone cold and emotionless. "Not if you won't let me try." Said Alec, "Jace, I've never seen you like this… It scares me. You've always been the one person I could always count on to be strong, no matter what." He looked at Jace as he spoke, but the other teen refused to meet his gaze.
"So, what? I'm not allowed to be affected by anything?" Jace asked, "You can think I'm strong and unfeeling all you like, but I'm not." He added, the vulnerability that Alec found so shocking creeping into his voice. Alec couldn't help but want to take Jace into his arms and comfort him in that moment, but he knew Jace wouldn't respond well to that.
"I don't mean it like that, Jace." Alec said, "But I can't stand seeing you like this… I want to help you however I can." He added, moving a little bit closer so Jace would have to look at him. The gaze that met Alec's was cold and lifeless. Like it had been drained of all the youth and intelligenence that used to make those eyes shine.
"Can you make Valentine not my father? Can you make Clary not my sister?" Jace asked, his eyes staring into Alec's with an almost pleading desperation. "I was happier when I thought my father was dead. When I thought Clary was just Clary…" He said, tone remaining pained and vulnerable.
"Jace. Valentine is not your father. He abandoned you, he lost all rights to you then." Alec said, placing a hand on Jace's leg in a comforting manner. Jace looked down at the hand for a moment, before looking up and meeting Alec's gaze. "I-I thought I loved her, Alec… I thought I loved her." Jace said, surprising Alec by changing the subject.
That subject was a bit touchy for Alec, he was in love with Jace. And when he'd found out Clary was Jace's sister, well, in all honesty he'd been relieved. But the look of pure broken-heartedness on Jace's face in that moment made Alec want nothing more than to take his pain away.
"Jace." Alec said, giving his leg a reassuring squeeze. "It's all right, you didn't know…" Jace looked down for a second, before he lifted his head back to meet Alec's waiting gaze. "Alec. I kissed her. And I liked it…" He said, looking at Alec as if begging him to fix everything.
"Jace, you didn't know. It's not your fault, okay?" Alec said, moving a little closer to Jace. "Than who's fault is it?" Jace asked, looking down at Alec's hand on his leg, only a couple inches below his thigh.
"It's no one's fault, Jace. No one could have known you and Clary were related." Alec said. Jace kept looking down, his fairly short dark-golden hair hiding his eyes. "Alec. I-I just feel like I'm so alone…" He said, still looking down, "I found out I have a father who isn't dead, and a sister… And yet I've never felt more alone."
Alec couldn't take it anymore, he put his hand under Jace's chin and lifted his head so he was looking into the other Shadowhunter's eyes. "Jace, you're not alone. You'll never be alone. You'll always have Izzy, and mom and dad… And me." Alec said, before pulling Jace into a tight hug. Wrapping his arms around the slightly younger teen and holding him close.
Jace just melted into the hug, letting Alec be his light in the darkness threatening to swallow him up. They melded together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle fit with one another. Jace just wanted to stay like that, wanted to be held-to hold someone. He fell back onto the bed, pulling Alec down with him, keeping an arm wrapped around his waist.
Alec was a bit surprised, Jace never let him hug him for very long. But he was glad he was now. Alec turned on his side, his arms coming in between their chests, and to his further surprise, Jace locked his arms into an entwined position with Alec's, and their legs became tangled in an intertwined way. With Jace's laced with one between and one over Alec's.
Jace's face only inches from his own made Alec feel like blushing, but he managed not to. The golden-haired teen in front of him looked so peaceful in that moment that Alec didn't want to do anything to mess it up. Jace was staring at Alec, and before Alec could speak, Jace said "Don't. I don't want to talk right now… Just-please, just lay with me for a while?" His breath ghosting across Alec's forehead.
The plea behind that made it impossible for Alec to say no-not that he'd want to) "Don't worry. I'll stay here as long as you want me too." Alec said, a bit of possessiveness creeping into his tone. Jace offered a smile in appreciation. After that, Alec thought Jace would perhaps close his eyes and sleep. But instead he kept staring at Alec. And the situation was becoming a bit awkward.
Jace continued to just stare into Alec's eyes. His gaze occasionally wandering around-across his strong jaw-line, to his high cheekbones, and down to his sculpted, lips. Jace was confused by what he was feeling. He'd always felt closer than a brother to Alec-as was the way of Parabatai-But he'd never felt quite like this before… But he felt strangely comfortable feeling what he was feeling. It just seemed right.
Alec's eye's were beginning to wander too. And he wanted to reach up and outline Jace's jaw with his finger. To trace his beautiful red-pink lips. To lean forward and kiss those lips…
"Alec." Jace said, a feeling of uncharacteristic knot of nervousness growing in his chest. "Do-do you like anyone?" he asked. Alec seemed puzzled by the question. "Not really… Why?" Alec said. "Well, it's just that I just never see you with anyone. I just thought it was a bit weird." Jace covered, thoughts swirling in his head. Jace felt strange, he was used to being more straightforward, but he didn't want to risk messing up this situation.
Alec just shrugged as best he could in their position. But inside he was beginning to fear that Jace might suspect he was gay. "Why-why don't I ever see you with anyone, I mean." Jace asked. "I don't know… I've just never found someone I like all that much I guess." He lied, not wanting to make Jace revolted by telling him the truth.
Jace didn't buy it. There had been plenty of girls Alec could've dated-girls who would've done anything for the chance to date Alec. Jace and Isabelle had both had their relationships over the years, but Alec had always remained single.
Jace decided to stop questioning him though. The thought of angering Alec, or making him uncomfortable-and making him leave, was something Jace didn't want to do. He didn't want to be alone right now, and here with Alec he felt safe, like all the problems in his life were just gone.
When Jace stopped questioning him, Alec was relieved. He let his eyes wander again, taking in the gorgeous features in front of him. Jace was beginning to feel the urge to hold Alec closer. But he was also feeling a little bit uncomfortable. One part of him felt that what he felt was right, and that he should pull Alec closer. But one part told him that he might chase Alec away.
After laying together for a while, Alec eventually sat up. Needing to stretch since he was becoming cramped from being in the same position for so long. Jace sat up too, both of them remaining in a somewhat uncomfortable silence. After he'd stretched Alec stood up, then turned back towards Jace, stifling a yawn. "It's getting late." Alec said. Thinking that Jace was ready for him to leave now. The other boy usually didn't like to stay around people much when he was in a bad mood.
A feeling of dread blossomed in Jace's chest at that moment, he didn't want Alec to leave. He didn't want to be alone. When Jace didn't immediately respond, Alec started to turn, saying, "Well, I'd better go see-" But he was cut off by Jace's hand grabbing his wrist.
When he looked down at Jace, he was met with a look of desperation for a brief second. Before the other boy composed himself enough to hide it. "Wait. You don't have to go… I mean, you could stay the night in here-if you want." Jace said.
Alec wanted to-he wanted to so badly… But he knew if he spent too much more time with Jace while he was in this strange mood, he wouldn't be able to control himself. "That's alright… I need to go check on Izzy, and-" Alec tried to say. But stopped when Jace's grip on his wrist tightened to a point where it was painful. "Please-please, just don't go…" Said Jace, that look of haunting desperation, fear, even, crossing his face. "I just-I don't want to be alone tonight." Jace said, swallowing his pride because he couldn't stand the thought of being alone right now.
Alec knew he had no hope of getting out of this now. So he smiled down at Jace, "Okay, I'll stay." He said, sitting down again beside Jace. "So, what do you want to do, then?" Said Alec, "I mean, how're we going to pass time? It's only ten-'o-clock." Jace looked over at him side-long, "What, is my company not good enough for you?" He asked jokingly. Alec grinned, glad Jace was acting like himself again. "No, it's not. I need things to do." Alec answered, only half-joking.
Jace pushed him over playfully, knocking him down onto the floor. "Well, too bad. You just get the honor of being in my awe-inspiring presence." He said smugly, looking down at Alec with a grin. Alec darted his hand up and grabbed Jace's wrist, pulling him towards the floor too. Jace, always up for a fight-though it was only play, responded by turning his fall into a tackle. Knocking Alec down onto his back. Jace quickly tried to gain the advantadge, but Alec was quicker. He twisted out of under Jace, and rolled, using his momentum to flip Jace over.
Now Alec was on top of Jace, grabbing a wrist and pinning it down above his head. But as he tried to grab for the other, Jace bucked his hips, nearly dislodging Alec, and causing him to lose his grip on Jace's wrist. Jace then rolled his hips, causing Alec to lose his balance and fall to the side, when he caught himself, Jace gave a little extra shove with his freed hand, sending Alec sprawling to the ground. Then Jace was on his back, reaching for Alec's wrists.
Alec managed to avoid Jace's searching hands long enough to twist around in his grip, but then Jace caught his wrists and pinned them above his head. The hold was causing Jace to lean over Alec, hovering just inches above him. And now their faces were only about seven inches apart. Both of them frozen, staring into each other's eyes. A blush coloring Alec's cheeks. Alec could feel Jace pressed so closely against him. Could feel his now intense gaze locked with his own.
Jace instinctively lowered his face, bringing them to a mere inch or two part. "Jace-" Alec said, his breath ghosting over Jace's lips. But he was cut off by the press of those lips against his own. It was a hard firm kiss, at first just Jace's lips pressed firmly together against his own. But then Jace started moving his lips, and Alec responded by moving his own against the other boys. The kiss became passionate and deep, their tongues slipping out and entwining. Jace still holding Alec's hands pinned above his head.
The kiss was the most amazing thing either of them had ever felt. Tingles of electricity shot out through the contact, spreading throughout there bodies. Alec lost a moan into the kiss when Jace bit down on his lower lip, drawing a drop of blood, flavoring the kiss with the metallic taste of blood.
When Jace pulled up, Alec gasped in the much needed breath, and saw Jace looking down at him looking like a dark and beautiful angel. His even further disheveled hair looking like a dark-gold halo. And his eyes dancing with lust and desire, staring intensely into Alec's.
Part II
Alec looked up into Jace's lust filled eyes, mesmerized by the golden orbs. Tingles of electricity jolted out from everywhere they were touching. Jace grinned down at Alec, then climbed off him. At first, Alec thought Jace didn't want this, but when Jace reached down and pulled him up Alec was reassured by a quick, but passionate kiss on the lips.
Jace's hands came down to rest on Alec's hips, and Alec moved closer to Jace so that they were pressed flush against each other. Alec brought a hand up to the back of the younger Shadowhunter's neck and pulled him into another kiss. Deep and passionate, their tongues meeting in a battle for dominance.
Alec trapped Jace's tongue under his own, then sucked it into his mouth. And Jace began to plunder that mouth, roaming over every inch and enjoying the sweet taste of Alec, while Alec brushed his tongue against Jace's as it explored his mouth.
When they pulled back from the kiss, Alec's hands began to wonder over Jace's body, riding up under his shirt and feeling the smooth, firm muscle of his abdomen. Jace, meanwhile was kissing and nipping his way down Alec's neck. A growl of annoyance leaving his lips when he came into contact with the thin black material of Alec's shirt.
Alec staggered back a step when Jace tore the fabric from his body. Throwing the torn halves he was holding aside. Alec, being less impulsive, grabbed Jace's shirt by the hem and lifted it over his head. Once their chests were both bare they crashed back together in a deep kiss.
And Alec began backing Jace up to the bed. And when the backs of his knees came into contact with the bed, Alec gave a little shove, knocking Jace back onto the white-sheeted bed. Then Alec walked around to the other side, looking down at Jace, who was staring up and behind him, looking at Alec.
Alec leaned down onto the bed, bracing his arms on either side of Jace's head, then, leaning his head down, he kissed Jace, moving his lips against the slightly younger teen's. Jace parted Alec's lips with his tongue, slipping it into Alec's mouth. From their inverted position, Jace's tongue was brushing Alec's perfectly, stroking it and igniting another small battle for dominance.
When Alec pulled back to gasp in breath, Jace grabbed him by the waist and pulled him all the way onto the bed, flipping him so that he landed on his back. Then Jace climbed on top, straddling him. The growing bulges in both their pants pressed against each other.
Both let out a little moan at the pressure. Before Jace leaned down and kissed Alec hard. It was a rough, passionate, needy kiss. And Alec bit down on Jace's lip, drawing blood, the same way the other teen had done to him earlier. When Jace pulled back, both their lips were red and swollen, and Jace had a trickle of blood trailing down his chin.
Alec leaned up and licked at the blood with his tongue, before gently running it over the cut. Jace, however, seemed not to mind the pain at all, and pressed his lips against Alec's roughly again.
When Jace pushed Alec back down, his hands began roaming over the older teen's pale, muscular chest. His finger's pausing to tweak a nipple, which drew a throaty moan from Alec. Then Jace began kissing the area's his hands had been a moment before. Trailing down his neck, across his chest, and pausing to nip softly at a nipple.
Alec arched into the touch, a moan rolling out of his throat. And Jace was grinning when he pulled back. "I never knew you were so vocal, Alec…" Jace murmured huskily. Causing a light blush to color Alec's cheeks, "Well it's sort of hard to keep quiet when you're doing things like that." Alec said, before pulling Jace back down into a kiss.
Soon all rational thought ran, replaced by their growing need-which was evident in the large bulges which were pressed together at their groins. Soon Jace was at Alec's side, unbuttoning Alec's pants, then sliding down the zipper, before pulling the jeans down to Alec's thighs.
Alec's member stood proud in his boxer-briefs, tenting the thin gray fabric and leaving little to imagination. Jace grinned, leaning in and mouthing the head of his length through the material. Tasting the sweet-salty liquid which had created a wet spot at the tip.
Alec instinctively bucked his hips, thrusting up towards Jace's mouth. Jace chuckled, before leaning up and gripping the hem of Alec's boxer-briefs, and pulling the grey article of clothing down to his thighs along with the jeans. Alec's member sprung free, standing upright and hard. Jace was impressed by the length, he'd had a pretty good idea of how big Alec's cock was through the underwear, but in it's naked glory it was even more impressive.
Alec squirmed a bit, slightly uncomfortable with being scrutinized in such a manner, but Jace smiled up at him mischievously, before lowering his mouth and experimentally darting out his tongue to lick the tip of Alec's member. Jace lapped up a bit more of the sweet, slightly salty pre-cum that was dripping from Alec's cock. Then took the head into his mouth, closing his lips around the shaft and applying suction.
He thought he was doing pretty good judging from the moan that rumbled out of Alec's lips, "Fuck, Jace." Alec murmured. And Jace sucked harder, lowering his mouth until he had as much of Alec's member in his mouth that he could fit. Which was only about two quarters. Alec struggled not to thrust up into Jace's mouth, and he refrained from doing so. Not wanting to hurt Jace, or make him take more than he could handle.
Jace ran his tongue around Alec's shaft, moving his head up then back down, wrapping his tongue partially around the length of Alec's member. Jace moved up and down, sucking and occasionally scraping his teeth along the head. Alec moaned, and when he couldn't take it any more, thrust up into Jace's mouth, causing him to gag slightly.
Jace pulled back, removing his mouth from Alec's cock. And Alec let out a little whine at the loss of contact. But Jace quieted him with a kiss, and Alec could taste a hint of saltiness on Jace's mouth-the taste of his pre-cum.
Alec's cock throbbed with the thought that he was tasting a bit of himself on Jace's tongue, and he ground his hips against Jace's, who was now on top of him again.
Alec moaned at the friction, but longed for skin-on-skin contact. Seeming to read his mind, Jace pulled back, leaning up a bit and jerking his jeans and underwear down in one smooth movement. Then pulled them all the way off and throwing them behind him. Jace grabbed Alec's jeans, which were still around his thighs, and pulled them off, along with the underwear, before throwing them into the same pile with his jeans.
Then Alec got his first good look at Jace's member. It was easily as big as his own considerable length-over eight inches, and pretty thick. Alec could see it pulse with Jace's heartbeat, and he felt the urge to have that length sheathed inside him.
Jace leaned down over Alec, their members brushing, and Jace braced an arm on either side of Alec, hovering just above him. "Alec-are you sure you want this?" Jace said, involuntarily grinding his member against Alec's. "Of course I want this. I've wanted this for years." Alec said, partly moaning out the words.
Jace grinned, "How many years?" He asked, playfully grinding his member against Alec's again. "Mhmm, since you were about fifteen." Alec murmured, looking up Jace. Jace smiled, "Why didn't you say anything? We could've done this years ago." He said. "Well, let's stop wasting time and get to it, then." Alec said, his aching member straining for release. Jace just grinned and ground against him one more time, before moving back and leaning over the side of the bed to a nightstand beside it.
He came back holding a bottle of lube. Jace spread Alec's legs and positioned himself in between them, leaning up on his knees. Jace popped open the cap of the lube and poured some onto his fingers, then set the bottle aside, closed. Jace ran his hand down Alec's thigh, moving it down between the crevice of his ass, and running it lightly over his entrance.
Alec held still, knowing this would be uncomfortable at first, and then painful. But he knew the pain was worth the pleasure that would come. Jace pressed his finger against Alec's hole, rubbing around first, then gently applying more pressure, sliding a finger into Alec's entrance. Alec squirmed a little at the discomfort, but otherwise remained still.
Jace moved the finger around a little, moving it in and out, stimulating the ring of muscle. Then he gently pressed in a second finger, moving in and out at first, before the scissoring began. Once he'd stretched Alec's entrance enough, he added a third finger, causing Alec to wince slightly, but behind the slight pain there was pleasure.
First Jace pumped his fingers in and out of Alec's hole, then arched his fingers up, and judging from the moan that emanated from Alec, he'd hit his prostate. Jace pressed into that spot again, causing Alec to arch back onto the fingers. "H-Hurry up, Jace." Alec panted out, needing to be entered now.
Jace grinned, then obediently removed his fingers from Alec's hole, and leaned down to plant a kiss on Alec's lips. While he was kissing Alec, Jace positioned himself, pressing the tip of his cock against Alec's entrance. Then, as Alec pressed back against Jace's member, he thrust into Alec's hole. Alec gasped in pain, biting down on Jace's already bitten lip, the metallic taste of blood flavoring their kiss.
Jace held still, it was all he could do to keep from thrusting into Alec's hot tightness. Soon, Alec couldn't take it anymore, he was as ready as he'd ever be. "Go." He said, rocking his hips against Jace. Jace, not needing to be told twice, pulled back and thrust back in. Then changed his angle, so that he could give Alec the same pleasure he was feeling.
All thoughts of pain fled as soon as Jace's member hit that spot inside of Alec, and a moan tore itself from his lips just as stars danced before his eyes. Alec began thrusting back against Jace, meeting the other teen's thrust half-way.
Just as Alec reached down to relieve his own member's need for friction, Jace's hand closed around his length. And Alec bucked back onto Jace's member. Desperate for Jace to stroke him.
Jace happily complied, setting a steady pace for his strokes and thrusts. And soon he was pounding into Alec's hole with abandon, while he quickly jerked his hand up and down on Alec's cock. Alec was close, and judging from moans and obscenities that were emanating from his mouth, he would come soon.
And Jace wasn't far from that himself, the tight heat of Alec's hole was driving him over the edge. With a few more rough strokes from Jace to his member, Alec came with a cry of, "Jace!" his seed spattering both his and Jace's chests and abdomens. As Alec's muscle's contracted on Jace's cock, the gold-haired teen was driven over that edge, and he thrust in as deep as possible before coming with a moan of, "Alec…" his seed filling Alec's insides.
Jace thrust a few more times, while Alec's anal muscles continued to contract, milking his member of his seed. When his orgasm ended, Jace collapsed on top of Alec, not even having the strength to remove his member from Alec's tight heat.
Jace's head nuzzled into the crook of Alec's neck, and he placed a kiss just under Alec's jaw. "God… That was amazing." Jace panted out. Alec leaned his head down and kissed Jace, before pulling back, "I love you." He said, his exhaustion plain in his voice. Jace smiled, all his earlier fears and doubts gone, "I love you, too." Jace said, before pulling up and sliding his softening member out of Alec. Jace grabbed the blanket folded at the edge of his bed and pulled it over Alec and he as he lay back down beside him.
Alec rolled onto his side to face Jace, wincing a bit at the slight dull ache coming from his ass, but the pain was worth it, he knew. Jace turned to face Alec, too. Their faces only inches apart, and their naked bodies entwined. Jace leaned over and kissed Alec, a soft, gentle loving kiss, conveying all the words and thanks he wanted to say. Then he pulled back, snuggling a bit closer to Alec before closing his eyes, his forehead resting against Alec's. "I love you…" Alec whispered again, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep in Jace's arms. And Alec had never been happier than in that moment.
A/N: Okay, so what'd you think? That was my first time writing sex, btw. How did I do? Review! Seriously, please just do it. And anyone who writes, you should write a Jalec story. They have no where near enough slash. And that is a grave injustice. An injustice that must be fixed. Anyway, thank you for reading, and double thanks to those who review.