Personal Message On the Tabrett Bethell Appreciation Project
Hi kids.
I am basically "cross-posting" this to my journal, because it's the content of the Comment entries I put on LotS_Femslash and TabAppreciation.
I just kind of want to plaster it on the Moon, if I could~ so, it's going here, too. If you are on my F-list and haven't read it at either of the above places, please take the time to read it here. Right now.
Love you all.
(There is until ~ 12 midnight EST~ TONIGHT ~ to donate; FYI.)
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Cara and I do not see a problem with my sacrificing an organ any more. ;)
I couldn't sleep, even though I laid down & tried.
Very, very, VERY honestly? I laid awake and thought about why I'm feeling this way, why it's so important to me, in a personal way, to really do something as big as I can to let Tabrett know that even though I'm a stranger to her, something she's done has meant just that much to me and affected me in a significant way.
It matters to me on an emotional level. And the few words I could really think to come up with or formulate to share, for the project, they're really not enough. It could be that at some point, the way someone has affected you, your life - isn't translatable into words, any more; because it's so personal. They're never going to truly get it; even though they may feel extremely honored to have had a hand in helping you find something meaningful in your life ~ just sharing that isn't (in my opinion, I guess) going to truly touch them back at the same depth that it hit you. Because they're not living inside of your life, your head, your experience.
So that's when it becomes important, if you're feeling such an overabundance of gratitude, and the desire to somehow impart to them what they've meant to you - to find a way to send the joy, the love, the gratitude - flowing back to them in translation (as well as those other words & expressions which are your personal own).
By translation I mean: You distill the raw love part ~ the human gratitude-love part, which is so beautiful ~ and you kind of 'smith' it into this sort of personalized Love arrow, designed just for them. (Or think of it as the personal, spelled agiel that could only hurt Cara & that was amped up to like 10,000 ~ only in REVERSE.)
That is why the charity part of this means a lot to me. Because I really think that the personal messages and gifts will certainly be touching and have an impact in one way, but there's something that, like so many others of you, I feel will be particularly meaningful to Tabrett, as a gesture done selflessly on others' behalf, in her name ~ out of our love for her and the common love we're sharing with her for all of humanity. That's really meaningful. And I really feel that that's going to be a huge part of the "personalized arrow" part.
Okay; I'm going to cross-post this to TabApp and hang my hat up for the night, and maybe put this on my journal page too ~ don't know, yet [a longer dedication/thing is coming, from me, I think, for her, one day anyway, there]...and I am going to pray and hope with a huge part of my heart that my friends in appreciating her will help me send that Love arrow, tonight.
She puts so much energy and heartfelt...just ...EVERYTHING...into everything [work] that she does. I mean, if her energy output level, doing it, were a heart rate?-she would be working it out to maxed-out levels the whole time.
It's amazing. That alone...you know?
YES, appreciation, Tabrett. ♥ Yes.