3 years later
I need an outlet today. One that no one reads anymore so here it is.... I'm headed to the red river gorge, I'm barely packed and I packed too much. I barely slept, my hands are sweaty and I am an anxious mess. I like the comfort I get in being prepared, in being packed early, in knowing exactly what I need to get done before I go. This time I haven't taken those precautions.
I feel insecure about Alex, I feel insecure about not having enough stuff. I feel insecure about the fact that I can flip like a switch and become moody and out of control. I feel like I should move on, I feel like I should stay if this is what I want.
I am exhausted right now. I didn't sleep enough, I didn't eat enough. I feel unhealthy and incapable although I know I can do this and I need to keep telling myself that I can get through work. I can pack what I need. I can take whatever happens between Alex and I. I can be a stronger more confident climber. I can move forward. I will enjoy my time with my friends. I will say what I need and I will compromise when needed. I am here to speak the truth to myself and others. I will be a truthful and positive influence to myself and others. I will breathe.
I want to quiet my mind. I want a nap. I want to feel whole and at peace with what is happening.
I need to get bug spray, shampoo, soap and a fork.
More than anything I need sleep and to eat.
I feel insecure about Alex, I feel insecure about not having enough stuff. I feel insecure about the fact that I can flip like a switch and become moody and out of control. I feel like I should move on, I feel like I should stay if this is what I want.
I am exhausted right now. I didn't sleep enough, I didn't eat enough. I feel unhealthy and incapable although I know I can do this and I need to keep telling myself that I can get through work. I can pack what I need. I can take whatever happens between Alex and I. I can be a stronger more confident climber. I can move forward. I will enjoy my time with my friends. I will say what I need and I will compromise when needed. I am here to speak the truth to myself and others. I will be a truthful and positive influence to myself and others. I will breathe.
I want to quiet my mind. I want a nap. I want to feel whole and at peace with what is happening.
I need to get bug spray, shampoo, soap and a fork.
More than anything I need sleep and to eat.