you'll probably read this
Wow. Interesting times. I'm single, again. Boyfriend number 3 is now ex-boyfriend number 3. I've found that heartbreak feels the same, no matter who it is. There is a small amount of comfort in the fact that the pain I'm feeling now is something that I've felt before. I've also found that feeling the same thing from different people doesn't lessen the importance of those feelings.
God, I'm going to miss him. There was so much potential and love, but potential and love doesn't make a relationship. There also isn't anything I can do to actualize potential.
I've still sat here, staring at his Facebook and that little word 'single'. And I love how, once a break up happens, all those wonderfully thought out reasons for breaking up go out the window. Now, all I can think about is how much I loved him.
I really hope I don't become the psycho ex-girlfriend again. Maybe I can go through this break up without having to delete his number from my phone. I still think I should give my phone to someone trustworthy the next time I decide to get drunk. Drunk dialing an ex is never good.
I hate being single. Thing is, I don't even feel single yet.
I wonder what things would have been like if I had not lost my spine. How would things have turned out if I didn't spend the past 6 months trying to be perfect for another person, and if I instead was just myself? Maybe we would have just butt heads the entire time and ended up breaking up anyway. Maybe I can't be myself in a relationship. Maybe I'm not cut out for them, either. I have no idea.
God, I'm going to miss him. There was so much potential and love, but potential and love doesn't make a relationship. There also isn't anything I can do to actualize potential.
I've still sat here, staring at his Facebook and that little word 'single'. And I love how, once a break up happens, all those wonderfully thought out reasons for breaking up go out the window. Now, all I can think about is how much I loved him.
I really hope I don't become the psycho ex-girlfriend again. Maybe I can go through this break up without having to delete his number from my phone. I still think I should give my phone to someone trustworthy the next time I decide to get drunk. Drunk dialing an ex is never good.
I hate being single. Thing is, I don't even feel single yet.
I wonder what things would have been like if I had not lost my spine. How would things have turned out if I didn't spend the past 6 months trying to be perfect for another person, and if I instead was just myself? Maybe we would have just butt heads the entire time and ended up breaking up anyway. Maybe I can't be myself in a relationship. Maybe I'm not cut out for them, either. I have no idea.