What happened?
*Tilts head back and screams*
I hate the world right now, I don't know what I have done to deserve all this shit that I am getting but I guess when it rains it pours. I am lost, confused and sadly a little frustrated at what I could have done to prevented such a sad sad day in the life of me. I don't understand where I went wrong... I honestly don't get it.
I thought I had a friend, I did stuff with him and hung out with him, and just enjoyed being around him. And... well he I think just used me. He didn't care about me... and now... I want to do nothing more then cry because all the real friends that I have are... gone. No one calls me any more, no one wants to be around me. I think it's because I am married... no one wants to talk to me because I am married. I love my family... but why should it be a big part of me not having friends?
So what I can't go out and screw someone, I have a husband for that.
So what I can't go out every night, I have a child to care for.
So what I don't drink every night, I don't want to be a drunk.
So what I am trying to stop smoking... But I think I will end up starting again.
You know that time in your life where you think that you've really hit rock bottem... well I am there. I don't know why I am such a pain in the ass... but I suppose it's because I have this deep seeded hatred for myself. I suppose that since I have nothing really to live for except my family that I am willing to go out and just... gamble it away. Maybe I need to act my age... maybe I should just.. stop doing what I like to do and fall into that conumdrum of life and suck it up... I don't need friends right? I have... my.. books, poems... stories...
*Starts to Cry*
I think I will go now. I hate my life.
I hate the world right now, I don't know what I have done to deserve all this shit that I am getting but I guess when it rains it pours. I am lost, confused and sadly a little frustrated at what I could have done to prevented such a sad sad day in the life of me. I don't understand where I went wrong... I honestly don't get it.
I thought I had a friend, I did stuff with him and hung out with him, and just enjoyed being around him. And... well he I think just used me. He didn't care about me... and now... I want to do nothing more then cry because all the real friends that I have are... gone. No one calls me any more, no one wants to be around me. I think it's because I am married... no one wants to talk to me because I am married. I love my family... but why should it be a big part of me not having friends?
So what I can't go out and screw someone, I have a husband for that.
So what I can't go out every night, I have a child to care for.
So what I don't drink every night, I don't want to be a drunk.
So what I am trying to stop smoking... But I think I will end up starting again.
You know that time in your life where you think that you've really hit rock bottem... well I am there. I don't know why I am such a pain in the ass... but I suppose it's because I have this deep seeded hatred for myself. I suppose that since I have nothing really to live for except my family that I am willing to go out and just... gamble it away. Maybe I need to act my age... maybe I should just.. stop doing what I like to do and fall into that conumdrum of life and suck it up... I don't need friends right? I have... my.. books, poems... stories...
*Starts to Cry*
I think I will go now. I hate my life.