why the fuck?
it doesn't even concern me, but lately i've been focussing on mum and dad's divorce.
I havn't ever had one fucking holiday as a whole "family" in my mind.
not even a christmas.
they divorced when I was 1. fucking 1.
Every holiday it reminds me of the fact that i'm either with mum or dad, NEVER both.
and it hurts.
This in particular made the wound re-surface:
“She told me that she was going to tell you the reason why we got divorced. She said you had right to know now that you and Michael are adults. I was afraid you were only calling because you wanted to tell me what a horrible father I was, and I couldn’t take that. I couldn’t stand the thought of either of my kids telling me they hated me.”
“What are you talking about?” Gerard asked. “Mom said you didn’t get along anymore.”
“She’s right,” the older man answered. “But did she tell you why?”
“No.”
Donald sighed, then began slowly, “I got another woman pregnant.”
“…What?”
“I cheated on your mother. I slept with Cheryl and got her pregnant.”
“Cheryl, as in the one you’re married to now?”
“Yes.”
Rage was an understatement.
“So, what, Mikey and me weren’t good enough for you anymore?”
“No, Gerard, that’s not -”
“You lied about Cheryl’s kid being your step-daughter, didn’t you? Katie’s technically our sister, isn’t she?”
There was a long pause before Donald finally said, “Technically, yes - she is.”
Gerard nodded his head, thoroughly enraged at his father. Managing to calm himself somewhat, he said slowly, “I don’t hate you.”
“I’m glad to hear that, son.”
“But I will never, ever forgive you.
That fucking killed me inside.
And i'm fucking ungreatful as shit, something bad could happen to one of them, and the only thing I care about is them not being together for my sake?
fuck im an asshole.
I dont know why I'm listening to this song either,
if a stupid poem
could fix this home
i'd read it every day.
im such a fuckhead.
I havn't ever had one fucking holiday as a whole "family" in my mind.
not even a christmas.
they divorced when I was 1. fucking 1.
Every holiday it reminds me of the fact that i'm either with mum or dad, NEVER both.
and it hurts.
This in particular made the wound re-surface:
“She told me that she was going to tell you the reason why we got divorced. She said you had right to know now that you and Michael are adults. I was afraid you were only calling because you wanted to tell me what a horrible father I was, and I couldn’t take that. I couldn’t stand the thought of either of my kids telling me they hated me.”
“What are you talking about?” Gerard asked. “Mom said you didn’t get along anymore.”
“She’s right,” the older man answered. “But did she tell you why?”
“No.”
Donald sighed, then began slowly, “I got another woman pregnant.”
“…What?”
“I cheated on your mother. I slept with Cheryl and got her pregnant.”
“Cheryl, as in the one you’re married to now?”
“Yes.”
Rage was an understatement.
“So, what, Mikey and me weren’t good enough for you anymore?”
“No, Gerard, that’s not -”
“You lied about Cheryl’s kid being your step-daughter, didn’t you? Katie’s technically our sister, isn’t she?”
There was a long pause before Donald finally said, “Technically, yes - she is.”
Gerard nodded his head, thoroughly enraged at his father. Managing to calm himself somewhat, he said slowly, “I don’t hate you.”
“I’m glad to hear that, son.”
“But I will never, ever forgive you.
That fucking killed me inside.
And i'm fucking ungreatful as shit, something bad could happen to one of them, and the only thing I care about is them not being together for my sake?
fuck im an asshole.
I dont know why I'm listening to this song either,
if a stupid poem
could fix this home
i'd read it every day.
im such a fuckhead.