Ciné TV
Et dans le même genre je vous gratifie de citations glanées ça et là et qui on le don de me faire mourir de rire.
Dougal: Ted look at the table. It's so dirty I can write me name in it!
Ted: There's a G in Dougal.
Dougal: Where?
@Father Ted - Are you Right There, Father Ted
Ted is demonstrating some plastic toy cows to Dougal.
Ted: ...OK, one last time. These are small... but the ones out there are far away. Small... far away...
@Father Ted - hell
Father Ted: I'm not a fascist, I'm a priest. Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas...priests...
@Father Ted - Are you Right There, Father Ted
Phoebe: It's not mine! If I kept it, it would be like stealing!
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
@Friends - The One with the Thumb
Chandler: You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
@Friends - The One Where No One's Ready
Chandler: Well, you don't look good Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke, so I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more.
@Friends - The one with Joey's fridge
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
@Friends - The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
@Friends - The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding
Stuart: Oh, by the way, I take my coffee the way I take my women.
Stacey: Are you sure you want to pay 75 bucks for a cup of coffee?
@Spin City
Paul: You know, I've been allergic to cats all my life, but at the pet morgue, nothing. Turns out I'm not allergic to dead cats.
Carter: Then you should definitely get one.
@Spin City
Caitlin: Mike, believe it or not, the whole universe does not revolve around you.
Mike: Are you calling my mom a liar?
@Spin City
Stuart: Hey Mike. I'm free. Why don't you let me look after the Mayor's daughter?
Mike: The same reason they don't give guns to monkeys.
@Spin City
Bernadette: Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: I'll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, nightclubs and bloody Abba!
Tick : Doesn't give us much to talk about then, does it?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Tick: Look, you're not helping here. Just eat your hormones.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: If you think I'm going to sit around watching Picasso take on the public transport system, you've got another thing coming.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: There's no point in walking back. The only life I saw for the last million miles were the hypnotised bunnies and most of them are now wedged in the tyres.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: I was only having fun.
Tick: Fun? What else do you do for amusement? Slam your fingers in car doors? What's the
point?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: one more push and im gonna hit him so hard hes gonna have to stick his toothbrush up his arse to clean his teeth
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: Thats quite a wife you got there, Mitz. What does she do in her spare time? Sand back the walls of oil tankers with her tongue?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: [after showing him the bus he had bought for their trip] Ta-da!
Tick: When do we have to return it to the school?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Charles: I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you."
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Charles: Do you think there really are people who can just go up and say, "Hi, babe. Name's Charles. This is your lucky night"?
Matthew: Well, if there are, they're not English.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: people are less suspicious of you.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
American wedding guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Garreth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Scarlett [At wedding one, the bride walks down the aisle]: Isn't she beautiful?
Fiona: Scarlett, you're blind, she looks like a big meringue.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Charles: I seem to be stuck in the wedding from hell, ghosts of girlfriends past at every turn. Next thing I'll bump into Henrietta and the nightmare will be complete.
Henrietta : Hello Charles.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
David: How are you doing?
Charles: You remember the time you started dad's boat and the propeller cut my leg to shreds?
David: Yeah?
Charles: This is worse.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Fiona: There's a sort of greatness to your lateness.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
electrician: "that's your MOTHER!!"
doctor: "and I'm her FATHER!"
legal slut: "and I'm NOT LUKE!"
@ Mizu - The return of the Hotline series!!!! (yeeeeees!!!!)
Renato Baldi : Jacob retourne dans ton cocotier
@La cage aux folles
Paul Volfoni : J'y trouve un goût de pomme
Maître Folace : Y en a !
@les tontons fligueurs
Fernand Naudin : Les cons, ça ose tout. C'est même à ça qu'on les reconnaît.
@les tontons fligueurs
Maittre Folace : C'est curieux chez les marins ce besoin de faire des phrases !
@les tontons fligueurs
Penny Caspar-Morse: We can cancel Woodstock and play it on Edina's behind!
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Saffy: Is this my drink?
Edina: No sweetie it's Patsy's, put the lid on before it evaporates.
@Abslutely fabulous - Gay
Eddy : In zen terms we are all just molecules. There's no difference between me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna...
Saffron: Except you have a fatter bottom.
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Bubble: Hoover! Hoover!
Eddy: You have to turn it on, not just make the noise!
@Abslutely fabulous - Cleanin
Saffy: Someone chooses what you wear, someone chooses what you eat, someone does your brain and three times a week someone shoves a hose up your backside and flushes it all out of you.
@Abslutely fabulous - France
Eddy: How do I look?
Patsy: Like a zeppelin in a condom.
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Saffy: Why aren't you dead(to patsy)!
Edina: Darling... because she started young. When other kids were playing pin the donkey, Patsy was lookin' for a vein.
@Abslutely fabulous - Fish Farm
Patsy: I think the photographer really caught something.
Saffy: Syphillis!
@Abslutely fabulous - Paris
Patsy: The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford clinic.
@Abslutely fabulous - France
Eddie: But darling, that dress was awful! How did you manage to get her to wear it?
Patsy: Oh, I just told her a cock-and-bull story about how I was a slave to my mother in her dying years and how I always strived to make her like me and she never loved me at all, ha!
Eddie: Ooh!...
[reflects for a second]
Eddie: But Pats, sweetie... That is all *true*. Your mother never loved you at all.
Patsy: DAMN!
@Abslutely fabulous - Magazine
Eddie: What you two don't seem to realize is that inside of me, inside of me, there is a thin person just screaming to get out.
Gran: Just the one, dear?
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Patsy: Nothing. And you shouldn't have to. I mean, look at you. You've been a fantastic mother. You've let them ruin your figure. Your stomach is stretched beyond recognition, you've got tits down to your knees and what for, for God's sake?
@Abslutely fabulous - fashion
Patsy: It could have been any of the men in any of the bars in France. She was the entertainment.
Oliver: Before slot machines?
Edina: She was the slot machine!
@Abslutely fabulous - Happy new year
Edina: My New Year's resolution, sweetie… to have more fun! What's yours, Pats?
Patsy: Ohh, well, I think I'll just try to be more relaxed.
Saffy: You, more relaxed? What is that, dead? Well, that cancels out my resolution.
@Abslutely fabulous - Happy new year
Han Solo: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.
Luke Skywalker: There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.
Han Solo: You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.
Luke Skywalker: Just stick close to Chewie and Lando; I'm taking care of everything.
Han Solo: Oh, great.
@Star Wars Episode VI
Han Solo: Together again.
Luke Skywalker: Wouldn't miss it.
Han Solo: How are we doing?
Luke Skywalker: The same as always.
Han Solo: That bad, huh?
@Star Wars Episode VI
Luke Skywalker: You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too, and in time, you will learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And…my sister has it. Yes. It's you, Leia.
Princess Leia Organa: I know. Somehow, I've always known.
@Star Wars Episode VI
Han Solo: I'm sure Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew.
Princess Leia Organa: He wasn't. I can feel it.
Han Solo: You love him, don't you.
Princess Leia Organa: Yes.
Han Solo: All right. I understand. Fine. When he gets back, I won't get in the way.
Princess Leia Organa: It's not like that at all. [whispering] He's my brother.
@Star Wars Episode VI
Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
Princess Leia Organa: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!
Han Solo: I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!
@Star Wars Episode V
Dougal: Ted look at the table. It's so dirty I can write me name in it!
Ted: There's a G in Dougal.
Dougal: Where?
@Father Ted - Are you Right There, Father Ted
Ted is demonstrating some plastic toy cows to Dougal.
Ted: ...OK, one last time. These are small... but the ones out there are far away. Small... far away...
@Father Ted - hell
Father Ted: I'm not a fascist, I'm a priest. Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas...priests...
@Father Ted - Are you Right There, Father Ted
Phoebe: It's not mine! If I kept it, it would be like stealing!
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
@Friends - The One with the Thumb
Chandler: You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
@Friends - The One Where No One's Ready
Chandler: Well, you don't look good Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke, so I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more.
@Friends - The one with Joey's fridge
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
@Friends - The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
@Friends - The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding
Stuart: Oh, by the way, I take my coffee the way I take my women.
Stacey: Are you sure you want to pay 75 bucks for a cup of coffee?
@Spin City
Paul: You know, I've been allergic to cats all my life, but at the pet morgue, nothing. Turns out I'm not allergic to dead cats.
Carter: Then you should definitely get one.
@Spin City
Caitlin: Mike, believe it or not, the whole universe does not revolve around you.
Mike: Are you calling my mom a liar?
@Spin City
Stuart: Hey Mike. I'm free. Why don't you let me look after the Mayor's daughter?
Mike: The same reason they don't give guns to monkeys.
@Spin City
Bernadette: Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: I'll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, nightclubs and bloody Abba!
Tick : Doesn't give us much to talk about then, does it?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Tick: Look, you're not helping here. Just eat your hormones.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: If you think I'm going to sit around watching Picasso take on the public transport system, you've got another thing coming.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: There's no point in walking back. The only life I saw for the last million miles were the hypnotised bunnies and most of them are now wedged in the tyres.
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: I was only having fun.
Tick: Fun? What else do you do for amusement? Slam your fingers in car doors? What's the
point?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette: one more push and im gonna hit him so hard hes gonna have to stick his toothbrush up his arse to clean his teeth
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: Thats quite a wife you got there, Mitz. What does she do in her spare time? Sand back the walls of oil tankers with her tongue?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Adam: [after showing him the bus he had bought for their trip] Ta-da!
Tick: When do we have to return it to the school?
@The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Charles: I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you."
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Charles: Do you think there really are people who can just go up and say, "Hi, babe. Name's Charles. This is your lucky night"?
Matthew: Well, if there are, they're not English.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: people are less suspicious of you.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
American wedding guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Garreth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Scarlett [At wedding one, the bride walks down the aisle]: Isn't she beautiful?
Fiona: Scarlett, you're blind, she looks like a big meringue.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Charles: I seem to be stuck in the wedding from hell, ghosts of girlfriends past at every turn. Next thing I'll bump into Henrietta and the nightmare will be complete.
Henrietta : Hello Charles.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
David: How are you doing?
Charles: You remember the time you started dad's boat and the propeller cut my leg to shreds?
David: Yeah?
Charles: This is worse.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
Fiona: There's a sort of greatness to your lateness.
@Four Weddings and a Funeral
electrician: "that's your MOTHER!!"
doctor: "and I'm her FATHER!"
legal slut: "and I'm NOT LUKE!"
@ Mizu - The return of the Hotline series!!!! (yeeeeees!!!!)
Renato Baldi : Jacob retourne dans ton cocotier
@La cage aux folles
Paul Volfoni : J'y trouve un goût de pomme
Maître Folace : Y en a !
@les tontons fligueurs
Fernand Naudin : Les cons, ça ose tout. C'est même à ça qu'on les reconnaît.
@les tontons fligueurs
Maittre Folace : C'est curieux chez les marins ce besoin de faire des phrases !
@les tontons fligueurs
Penny Caspar-Morse: We can cancel Woodstock and play it on Edina's behind!
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Saffy: Is this my drink?
Edina: No sweetie it's Patsy's, put the lid on before it evaporates.
@Abslutely fabulous - Gay
Eddy : In zen terms we are all just molecules. There's no difference between me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna...
Saffron: Except you have a fatter bottom.
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Bubble: Hoover! Hoover!
Eddy: You have to turn it on, not just make the noise!
@Abslutely fabulous - Cleanin
Saffy: Someone chooses what you wear, someone chooses what you eat, someone does your brain and three times a week someone shoves a hose up your backside and flushes it all out of you.
@Abslutely fabulous - France
Eddy: How do I look?
Patsy: Like a zeppelin in a condom.
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Saffy: Why aren't you dead(to patsy)!
Edina: Darling... because she started young. When other kids were playing pin the donkey, Patsy was lookin' for a vein.
@Abslutely fabulous - Fish Farm
Patsy: I think the photographer really caught something.
Saffy: Syphillis!
@Abslutely fabulous - Paris
Patsy: The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford clinic.
@Abslutely fabulous - France
Eddie: But darling, that dress was awful! How did you manage to get her to wear it?
Patsy: Oh, I just told her a cock-and-bull story about how I was a slave to my mother in her dying years and how I always strived to make her like me and she never loved me at all, ha!
Eddie: Ooh!...
[reflects for a second]
Eddie: But Pats, sweetie... That is all *true*. Your mother never loved you at all.
Patsy: DAMN!
@Abslutely fabulous - Magazine
Eddie: What you two don't seem to realize is that inside of me, inside of me, there is a thin person just screaming to get out.
Gran: Just the one, dear?
@Abslutely fabulous - Fat
Patsy: Nothing. And you shouldn't have to. I mean, look at you. You've been a fantastic mother. You've let them ruin your figure. Your stomach is stretched beyond recognition, you've got tits down to your knees and what for, for God's sake?
@Abslutely fabulous - fashion
Patsy: It could have been any of the men in any of the bars in France. She was the entertainment.
Oliver: Before slot machines?
Edina: She was the slot machine!
@Abslutely fabulous - Happy new year
Edina: My New Year's resolution, sweetie… to have more fun! What's yours, Pats?
Patsy: Ohh, well, I think I'll just try to be more relaxed.
Saffy: You, more relaxed? What is that, dead? Well, that cancels out my resolution.
@Abslutely fabulous - Happy new year
Han Solo: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.
Luke Skywalker: There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.
Han Solo: You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.
Luke Skywalker: Just stick close to Chewie and Lando; I'm taking care of everything.
Han Solo: Oh, great.
@Star Wars Episode VI
Han Solo: Together again.
Luke Skywalker: Wouldn't miss it.
Han Solo: How are we doing?
Luke Skywalker: The same as always.
Han Solo: That bad, huh?
@Star Wars Episode VI
Luke Skywalker: You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too, and in time, you will learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And…my sister has it. Yes. It's you, Leia.
Princess Leia Organa: I know. Somehow, I've always known.
@Star Wars Episode VI
Han Solo: I'm sure Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew.
Princess Leia Organa: He wasn't. I can feel it.
Han Solo: You love him, don't you.
Princess Leia Organa: Yes.
Han Solo: All right. I understand. Fine. When he gets back, I won't get in the way.
Princess Leia Organa: It's not like that at all. [whispering] He's my brother.
@Star Wars Episode VI
Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
Princess Leia Organa: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!
Han Solo: I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!
@Star Wars Episode V