(no subject)
Thought it would be fun to bring back my old valentines day post.
Happy reading.
Ya know, I don't usually whine about stuff other than how I don't have enough money or something like that on my lj, but right now I'm gonna whine. Today, the topic is National Hallmark Day. Now, the reason for this discussion is because everyone has been posting about how their day has been so terrible. My hypothesis you ask? It's quite simple. Hallmark has set viruses in all foods but chocolate. It makes people whiny and bitchy about life while also making them sick. My idea calls for drastic measures, in the form of personally having the Government officially declare balloons with hearts on them, shirts with hearts on them, shoes with hearts on them, cars with hearts on them, billboards with hears on them, and pretty much just anything that even remotely suggests that we should be celebrating Valentines Day, RITUALLY BURNED. It would solve everything. It would make the people that are always so goddamn happy about everything sad, and it would finally give those of us who really dont give a damn about paying $19.99 for a friggin flower some peace. But thats just my suggestion. So go out and have yourself a bonfire!
Now, on another topic, let's talk about how my week has been going. Umm...lets see...I already talked about burning Valentines Day...uhh....yeah thats about it. Seriously though. I really dont want to see anyone around me getting hyped up over a holiday that mainly consists of the slim girls seeing how much chocolate they can eat while everyone else wonders whether their next piece will give them a clogged artery.
And finally, I'd like to talk about something that has been bothering me for a while. I would like to talk about the peoples choice for the romantic gift for women. I would like to talk about flowers. Now, when I see a flower, I don't see something thats extremely pretty. No sirree. What I see is a potentially dangerous object that has spikes and may be inhabited by a flying bug that could possibly give me a big welt on the cheek. For me, I think a much safer present would be...thats right...THE POTATO!!! The potato is the ideal way for you women and men to show your affection with your loved one. Think about it. When was the last time that a potato had something hidden inside of it that stung someone? Also, you can do pretty much anything with a potato. You can fry it, mash it, put cheese on it, shoot it great distances, and you can even make a face out of it! What can you do with a rose? Nothing. It just sits there until, eventually, it loses all of its petals and withers away into nothing. A potato, on the other hand, is not only fun to play with, but its child-proof. When was the last time that you saw a child choke on a full sized potato? Not likely.
So, to close with, I would like to say this. Men, don't give into societal pressure. Buy that special woman that you love a potato and watch her go from happiness to confusion to anger. And just remember. When she throws the potato back at you, just pick it up and think about how this will go great with the steak dinner for two that you had made.
Happy reading.
Ya know, I don't usually whine about stuff other than how I don't have enough money or something like that on my lj, but right now I'm gonna whine. Today, the topic is National Hallmark Day. Now, the reason for this discussion is because everyone has been posting about how their day has been so terrible. My hypothesis you ask? It's quite simple. Hallmark has set viruses in all foods but chocolate. It makes people whiny and bitchy about life while also making them sick. My idea calls for drastic measures, in the form of personally having the Government officially declare balloons with hearts on them, shirts with hearts on them, shoes with hearts on them, cars with hearts on them, billboards with hears on them, and pretty much just anything that even remotely suggests that we should be celebrating Valentines Day, RITUALLY BURNED. It would solve everything. It would make the people that are always so goddamn happy about everything sad, and it would finally give those of us who really dont give a damn about paying $19.99 for a friggin flower some peace. But thats just my suggestion. So go out and have yourself a bonfire!
Now, on another topic, let's talk about how my week has been going. Umm...lets see...I already talked about burning Valentines Day...uhh....yeah thats about it. Seriously though. I really dont want to see anyone around me getting hyped up over a holiday that mainly consists of the slim girls seeing how much chocolate they can eat while everyone else wonders whether their next piece will give them a clogged artery.
And finally, I'd like to talk about something that has been bothering me for a while. I would like to talk about the peoples choice for the romantic gift for women. I would like to talk about flowers. Now, when I see a flower, I don't see something thats extremely pretty. No sirree. What I see is a potentially dangerous object that has spikes and may be inhabited by a flying bug that could possibly give me a big welt on the cheek. For me, I think a much safer present would be...thats right...THE POTATO!!! The potato is the ideal way for you women and men to show your affection with your loved one. Think about it. When was the last time that a potato had something hidden inside of it that stung someone? Also, you can do pretty much anything with a potato. You can fry it, mash it, put cheese on it, shoot it great distances, and you can even make a face out of it! What can you do with a rose? Nothing. It just sits there until, eventually, it loses all of its petals and withers away into nothing. A potato, on the other hand, is not only fun to play with, but its child-proof. When was the last time that you saw a child choke on a full sized potato? Not likely.
So, to close with, I would like to say this. Men, don't give into societal pressure. Buy that special woman that you love a potato and watch her go from happiness to confusion to anger. And just remember. When she throws the potato back at you, just pick it up and think about how this will go great with the steak dinner for two that you had made.