God's Debris
So i finally finished a book for once.
i Read god's debris. a book recommended (or forced on me rather).
i've been thinking about it all day.
It talked about being committed to ideas, and following through with goals, relationships, beliefs, everything really.
one of the things was really interesting.
it talked about people who write down their goals 15 times every day.
its not that they are able to do it because they write it down, but that they have the dedication. and know what they want.
i want to do it. but i know, already that i would stop after two days. or something like that.
my GOAL. is to move to la or new york by april.
and yet. i'm still in this mind set where if something better comes along, I'll do that instead.
and that cant be a good way to live.
I want to start committing to april. but i'm afraid that i'll be doing well in my job now.
but i know i'm not really happy in my job now.
so what am i thinking?
Its not that i'm not happy. i just know its keeping me stuck in one place.
and who wants to live like that.
I had a revelation today during my massage that i need to go to new york.
which is weird.
because i WANT to live in la. i think california would be harmony for me.
and yet. i can tell that i would get stuck in another rut if i got there. i know that i would have trouble getting in that industry right now without much experience.
I know that New York has all the training and opportunity to actually be able to survive.
i just need to make that move.
and who knows. maybe by april the market will be so much better that i'll actually be able to afford a real apartment.
or have a puppy to keep me company ;)
I'm pissed off about everything that happened this weekend.
getting ditched, twice. and then seeing everything that happened the next day.
it's always been a problem with me. jealousy. never of other people. just of people doing things that i COULD have done.
it started when i was in paris. and i shouldnt let things that are out of my control bother me. but i do.
I have a lot of things to let go of.
theres more i want to say.... but i think its time for bed eoin.
Don't Deny Me of My Sleep.
I Want to Dream Big.
i Read god's debris. a book recommended (or forced on me rather).
i've been thinking about it all day.
It talked about being committed to ideas, and following through with goals, relationships, beliefs, everything really.
one of the things was really interesting.
it talked about people who write down their goals 15 times every day.
its not that they are able to do it because they write it down, but that they have the dedication. and know what they want.
i want to do it. but i know, already that i would stop after two days. or something like that.
my GOAL. is to move to la or new york by april.
and yet. i'm still in this mind set where if something better comes along, I'll do that instead.
and that cant be a good way to live.
I want to start committing to april. but i'm afraid that i'll be doing well in my job now.
but i know i'm not really happy in my job now.
so what am i thinking?
Its not that i'm not happy. i just know its keeping me stuck in one place.
and who wants to live like that.
I had a revelation today during my massage that i need to go to new york.
which is weird.
because i WANT to live in la. i think california would be harmony for me.
and yet. i can tell that i would get stuck in another rut if i got there. i know that i would have trouble getting in that industry right now without much experience.
I know that New York has all the training and opportunity to actually be able to survive.
i just need to make that move.
and who knows. maybe by april the market will be so much better that i'll actually be able to afford a real apartment.
or have a puppy to keep me company ;)
I'm pissed off about everything that happened this weekend.
getting ditched, twice. and then seeing everything that happened the next day.
it's always been a problem with me. jealousy. never of other people. just of people doing things that i COULD have done.
it started when i was in paris. and i shouldnt let things that are out of my control bother me. but i do.
I have a lot of things to let go of.
theres more i want to say.... but i think its time for bed eoin.
Don't Deny Me of My Sleep.
I Want to Dream Big.