Essay On Nice Guys
I hate the statement “Nice guys finish last.” In my opinion that has got to be one of the dumbest proverbs ever conceived. Mainly because it co notates the idea that finishing “last” is some kind of “virtue” that should be aspired to. This saying was probably invented by some guy who competed in the Special Olympics under the guise of actually being “disabled,” and still finished with only a silver. No, my friends, I would like to point out to you that this statement has about as much practicality to it as the only other statement that supersedes it in stupidity, the statement “all I am looking for is a nice guy.” Personally I would rather compete in the Special Olympics before ever be called a “nice guy,” because despite the fact that both are retarded, at least one comes with a medal.
Women, I would just like to inform you of something, quit searching for “nice guys.” You are using the wrong compass. Nice guys are all over the place. Listen to me, if it’s a “nice guy” you want, I can find one for you. Many of them have cheated on their girlfriends or spouses, but will hold every car door open for you on a first date. “Nice” is not a virtue, it’s a characteristic but vastly different from character itself.
Now going back to the phrase that nice guys finish last, well who cares anyway? A guy that is consistently finishing last shouldn’t be commended for anything; he should be turned into a eunuch and kept from procreating with like species. Even those Trekkie Nerds that took up residence in the dorm room opposite mine had something they were proficient in, computers and japanimation trivia. Some of those kids could diagnose a corrupted windows file just by licking the hard drive.
Finishing last is not and never will be a fruit of the spirit. You don’t need a “nice guy,” you need a GOOD MAN. You see ladies, while opening and closing a car door is charming, it is only a characteristic and not exemplary of character itself.
Being a narrative writer, I am expected to understand the difference between both character and characteristics, as a misunderstanding of both will result in poor development and a crappy story. Characteristics are those things that define a personality, such as the way someone dresses. Does this person dress like a lower-middle class skater punk or an upper-middle class choir boy? It can even be a difference in vernacular; does this person speak with an inner city Brooklyn accent, Georgia Twang or a California Surfer’s vocabulary of 15 words? These are all things that define a personality but not the person themselves.
You see, “Character” defines the “person.” Character is the CORE of a person, and the CORE of character is CHOICE. Any great, and even most non-great, story tellers know this difference. The true character of a person isn’t shown in a 5 dollar bundle of flowers or a mix cd (but if a guy doesn’t even do this much he is probably not worth your time anyway), his “character” is shown when he is forced to make a decision between doing what is a right, versus what is easy. I am certainly not saying that being nice, or kind, or sensitive aren’t admirable traits, I am just saying that they are not the first and only things you should be looking for in a guy. With good character comes selflessness through sacrifice. Is he the type of guy who would drive to the supermarket and back on a cold snowy day just so you could have milk with your cookies? Is he the type of guy that would rather use the money he’s been saving for a new set of golf clubs instead for his daughter’s ballet lessons? Is he the type of guy, who when given the chance to commit adultery with another woman, will instead turn and run the other way?
I am often reminded of one of the greatest written characters in filmic history, George Baily from It’s a Wonderful Life. What makes George Baily such an incredible man is not the fact that he flashed a wink and a smile to every random pedestrian on the street. He was not remembered for his sauve way with the ladies. As a boy he even refused to fulfill the request of a admirer by helping her down from her chair. George Baily was the great man that he was because, despite his greatest lifelong desires for travel and money, he wound up with neither as he sought the well-being of those around him first. George Baily was remembered for those moments in his life when he was forced to set aside himself in the stead of another. As a boy he chose to tell the pharmacist that he was sending out improper prescriptions, despite the fact that he took a beating for it. As a young man he chose to send his brother to college, despite the fact that his brother was unable to return the favor. As a newly married man he chose to give his savings, intended for an elaborate honeymoon, instead to the bank, to keep it from going bankrupt. George Baily was a man remembered, not for his sweet talk and gentle nature; he was remembered for his INTEGRITY. This is what you need to be looking for in a man. This is at the core of who a man really is. Not that car doors and proper manners are not commendable and desired attributes, but I can guarantee you that 20 years into a marriage will have you less concerned with his etiquette than his integrity. So stop searching for a “nice guy” and start looking for a good man.
Women, I would just like to inform you of something, quit searching for “nice guys.” You are using the wrong compass. Nice guys are all over the place. Listen to me, if it’s a “nice guy” you want, I can find one for you. Many of them have cheated on their girlfriends or spouses, but will hold every car door open for you on a first date. “Nice” is not a virtue, it’s a characteristic but vastly different from character itself.
Now going back to the phrase that nice guys finish last, well who cares anyway? A guy that is consistently finishing last shouldn’t be commended for anything; he should be turned into a eunuch and kept from procreating with like species. Even those Trekkie Nerds that took up residence in the dorm room opposite mine had something they were proficient in, computers and japanimation trivia. Some of those kids could diagnose a corrupted windows file just by licking the hard drive.
Finishing last is not and never will be a fruit of the spirit. You don’t need a “nice guy,” you need a GOOD MAN. You see ladies, while opening and closing a car door is charming, it is only a characteristic and not exemplary of character itself.
Being a narrative writer, I am expected to understand the difference between both character and characteristics, as a misunderstanding of both will result in poor development and a crappy story. Characteristics are those things that define a personality, such as the way someone dresses. Does this person dress like a lower-middle class skater punk or an upper-middle class choir boy? It can even be a difference in vernacular; does this person speak with an inner city Brooklyn accent, Georgia Twang or a California Surfer’s vocabulary of 15 words? These are all things that define a personality but not the person themselves.
You see, “Character” defines the “person.” Character is the CORE of a person, and the CORE of character is CHOICE. Any great, and even most non-great, story tellers know this difference. The true character of a person isn’t shown in a 5 dollar bundle of flowers or a mix cd (but if a guy doesn’t even do this much he is probably not worth your time anyway), his “character” is shown when he is forced to make a decision between doing what is a right, versus what is easy. I am certainly not saying that being nice, or kind, or sensitive aren’t admirable traits, I am just saying that they are not the first and only things you should be looking for in a guy. With good character comes selflessness through sacrifice. Is he the type of guy who would drive to the supermarket and back on a cold snowy day just so you could have milk with your cookies? Is he the type of guy that would rather use the money he’s been saving for a new set of golf clubs instead for his daughter’s ballet lessons? Is he the type of guy, who when given the chance to commit adultery with another woman, will instead turn and run the other way?
I am often reminded of one of the greatest written characters in filmic history, George Baily from It’s a Wonderful Life. What makes George Baily such an incredible man is not the fact that he flashed a wink and a smile to every random pedestrian on the street. He was not remembered for his sauve way with the ladies. As a boy he even refused to fulfill the request of a admirer by helping her down from her chair. George Baily was the great man that he was because, despite his greatest lifelong desires for travel and money, he wound up with neither as he sought the well-being of those around him first. George Baily was remembered for those moments in his life when he was forced to set aside himself in the stead of another. As a boy he chose to tell the pharmacist that he was sending out improper prescriptions, despite the fact that he took a beating for it. As a young man he chose to send his brother to college, despite the fact that his brother was unable to return the favor. As a newly married man he chose to give his savings, intended for an elaborate honeymoon, instead to the bank, to keep it from going bankrupt. George Baily was a man remembered, not for his sweet talk and gentle nature; he was remembered for his INTEGRITY. This is what you need to be looking for in a man. This is at the core of who a man really is. Not that car doors and proper manners are not commendable and desired attributes, but I can guarantee you that 20 years into a marriage will have you less concerned with his etiquette than his integrity. So stop searching for a “nice guy” and start looking for a good man.