Angels
Title: Angels
Author: moonstach21
Pairing: KiHanChul
Genre: Drama, Romance, slight Smut, Tragedy
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17
Summary: When his present seems to be uncertain and the only thing that keeps him sane is his past, how could one move on to the future?
A/n: sorry if there may seem to have parts that is not that really important. It’s my first fan fic ever... ahaha… title is a little vague; I’m really not sure where I got it, but hope you like the story. xp
Hope somebody will enjoy reading this. Criticisms are very much welcome. Thanks.
“Hankyung, I’m home~!!” Heechul yelled as soon as he opened their apartment’s door. Despite the exhaustion, he still strutted his way to the living room, like he always does, and slumps his body on to the sofa.
He is Kim Heechul. A famous young designer, considered a genius by his peers and seniors, and has won different awards despite the unconventional look of his masterpieces. Many people idolizes him as well as envy him for he already have everything that anyone could ever wish for: successful fashion events inside and out of Korea, an upcoming personal clothing line with endorsements from famous individuals, a very supportive and loving family, and most of all, a handsome, kind, sweet, understanding, and an internationally acclaimed ballet dancer for a boyfriend, which by the way, answers to the name ‘Hankyung’.
The six hour travel from Chungcheongnam-do to their house made Heechul very tired so he laid his back onto the comforts of the sofa then closed his eyes. But he opened then again when he realized that no one has answered him yet.
He called out again, “Hankyung?” then he smelled something burning from the kitchen. “Hankyung?!~ Hankyung, where are you? Your fried rice is burning already!!” he yelled at the whole house.
“Aishh~!” he complained when nobody still answered him, realizing that it would be on him to fix the burning food -if there is something he really hate, that would be washing the dishes. So he went to the kitchen and turned off the gas and put the burning thing in the trash, and as he turned to put the pan on the sink, he found Hankyung lying on the floor. He abruptly ran to him and checked his vitals. Hankyung is breathing well but his heart palpitates under Heechul’s ears.
He immediately called an ambulance and took Hankyung in the nearest hospital.
At the hospital, Heechul kept on walking back and forth along the corridor, while giving faint glances at the emergency room door where the doctors and nurses are tending to Hankyung. He quickly ran towards the door when it opened and a doctor emerges. “Doctor, how is he?” he inquired.
“I’m afraid we cannot do anything more for your partner, Mr. Kim. We already told him that admitting himself here at the hospital would be better for him. He would have been taken care of better here where his needs are of immediate commodity. But, sadly, he’s stubborn as ever.”
“What are you saying doctor?? I don’t understand what you’re telling me. How could staying here be better for him?” Heechul asked with confused eyes.
“Didn’t he tell you? He has this rare disease that slowly consumes all the sugar in his body and slowly blocks the oxygen and blood that is needed by the brain to function. He was discovered to have this illness when he was still in China five years ago, but he refused to admit himself in any hospital. He just takes medication to increase his sugar level. But this time, the medications cannot control the disease anymore. And there are no new discoveries about this disease these past few years. I am very sorry.” The doctor explained to Heechul. “Well, if you’ll excuse me. I’ll just go prepare for an operation. Hankyung will be transferred soon to his room. You should go and wait for him there. Excuse me.”
Heechul was at lost for words. He cannot believe what the doctor told him.
And worst of all, all this time they were together, Hankyung is suffering without his knowledge. He dragged himself to where Hankyung was being transferred. As soon as he saw Hankyung’s face, he sank to his knees and started to cry.
Hankyung is dying! Hankyung is hurting everyday of our lives and I didn’t notice anything. Why was I so naïve? Why didn’t he even tell me? Why should it be Hankyung? Why not those evil people that lurks the streets of the world? Why my Hankyung? Why not me? Why? Why? Why?
Heechul was sitting on the chair beside Hankyung’s bed, still lost in oblivion, when Hankyung finally opened his eyes. He wandered his eyes into the room, its already dark outside, and then settled them to the one on the chair. He knew where exactly he was right now and he also knew, as much as it hurt, that this lovely creature who he loves so much is breaking deep down inside because of him.
“Heechul -ah~” Hankyung whispered softly as he tried to reach for Heechul’s hands, but when finally his hands reached its destination, Heechul instinctively recoiled form his touch. Hankyung was deeply hurt; it was the first time that Heechul ever did that to him. Naturally, Heechul would say nasty words and go all bitchy on him whenever he reaches out to him, but never did he shook him away. Heechul would just yell at him while he makes his way to stand behind him then hug him close to his heart. But, it cannot be helped. He knows why Heechul is acting this way. It is because him, and his disease. An illness he did not tell him about. It was he who first hurt him, betrayed him, and fooled him, his beautiful Heechul.
“YAH!! Why didn’t you tell me?” Heechul asked as tears start to cloud his eyes. “Don’t you need me anymore? Don’t you love me anymore? You didn’t even think about what I’m going to feel.”
“I know you would be hurt, that’s why I decided to keep it from everyone, especially to you. I’ve decided to leave while you were away, but I cannot stop myself from cooking something for your return. That’s when I collapsed and then you found me lying there.” Hankyung said.
“Hah~... That was just the same, maybe even painful! Because you denied me the chance to be with you, to take care of you, to be happy with you… did it never occurred to you that I would have searched high and low just to find you? Do you think I would have let you get away without a single word? Why do you want to hurt me this much?” Heechul said as the tears he’s been holding back ran down his face. Hankyung guiltily turned his head away to hide his face from Heechul’s searching eyes, and to restrain himself from the urge to reach for this man, to hug him, to touch him, to kiss him, to cling on to him. But his love and his pity for this man overtook every ounce of restraint he has on his body. His hands started to raise and claim Heechul’s waist into a hug as tight as his weak body could manage.
“I’m sorry... I am very sorry!” he said as he broke the hug and pulled Heechul to sit beside him in his bed, then he raised one hand to cup Heechul's face and stared as if searching for something. “But believe me; I never wanted it to be like this. All I ever wanted is for you to be happy even though I’m far away. I don’t want you to see me like this, dying...”
“Is there really nothing else we can do? Hankyung -ah, I don’t want you to~...” Hankyung did not let Heechul finish his sentence. He claimed Heechul’s lips in a searing kiss.
Their kiss was deep and passionate mixed with emotions that only they could understand. He felt Heechul wrapped his hands around him as though he will be snatched away from him in any moment. His searching hands traveled across Heechul’s body then settled at the small of his back. The kiss went deeper as he guided Heechul up on his bed to sit on his lap, legs on both sides of his body.
“Hankyung -ah~! We’re at the hospital! Someone might come in.” Heechul gasped when Hankyung left his mouth to devour the sweetness and softness of his neck. But Hankyung did not heed his warning; instead Hankyung muffled his protests by re-covering his mouth with his. He felt Hankyung’s hands easing their way inside his shirt, across his stomach, all the way up to his chest, poking and teasing his already too sensitive nubs.
“Mmggn… mnn...” Heechul moaned in between their kiss then he felt Hankyung’s tongue entered his parted lips, exploring every corner of his mouth, tasting the sweetness of his breath.
Little did they know that while they’re both busy with themselves, a hand tightened its grip over the door knob, restraining himself from entering the room and snatching the beautiful man from the caresses of Hankyung’s hands. He let out a deep sigh then silently closed the door behind him. The unknown man slowly walked his way down to the corridor with hands curled into a tight fist inside his long white robe’s pockets.
Inside Hankyung’s room, the two was still entranced by the intense heat that radiates off their bodies. In one swift move, Hankyung managed to invert their positions without breaking the kiss. Then he pulled himself away from Heechul and steadied himself up with one elbow. He stared intently on Heechul’s face while his free hand traced the path of tears on his little kitten’s face. “When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep, huh?”
Heechul who was also staring at his lover’s face was surprised. But before he could manage to ask anything, Hankyung answered his still unspoken question. “You look very tired, my love. Your eyes are beginning to sag.” As if to emphasize what he’s trying to say, Hankyung trailed his fingers around Heechul’s eyes. “Sleep here with me on the bed. I think it’s spacious enough for the two of us.” Then he flashed that boyish smile of his.
It’s been a while since Heechul last had a sound sleep. For the past few weeks, he’s been paranoid about the fashion event on Chungcheongnam-do and then after that, he was restless about Hankyung’s status.
“Come now, little kitten. Tiny stars shining so bright, it’s time to say goodnight. So close your eyes and sleep tight. And may you have the sweetest dream tonight.” Hankyung chanted his favorite prayer to Heechul who after some time, maybe because of stress or exhaustion, was fast asleep in his arm. He smiled as he pulled the covers up to Heechul’s waist with his free hand and then planted a soft kiss on the latter’s forehead.
“Whatever you did and whatever you’re doing is against the hospital rules, Hankyung.”
Hankyung was startled when he heard a familiar voice from an open door. He immediately turned his head towards the man who spoke those words then smiled sheepishly. “What was it that we did that’s against the rules, eh? I didn’t know that you’ve already lost your manners and started opening doors without knocking first, Kibummie.”
“I owe it to my father not to forget my manners. I did knock. This time and the other, but I guess you were too busy to notice.” The mystery man walked closer to the bed. “And please, I am too old for that nickname. Besides, we’re here at the hospital, so please, call me by my name.”
Hankyung sneered at the young man in the long white robe’s answer. “Kibum -ah.” He looked at the man he called ‘Kibum’ from head to toe then back to his serious face. “You’ve changed a lot since the last time I saw you. But you still have that unfathomable expression on your face. I still cannot read you.”
“And you haven’t changed one bit, still childish like before.”
Hankyung laughed softly, “I’ll take that as a compliment, Kibummie. And as far as I can see, you’re already on your way to achieving your dreams, my little brother. It’s just too bad that I won’t be able to witness all that.” Hankyung said as his eyes went back to the sleeping man on his arms.
“Hyung~!”
“Don’t worry.” Hankyung cut on Kibum’s words. “I have readied myself for this. I know that this will happen eventually.”
“What about him?” Kibum asked pertaining to Heechul.
Hankyung smiled sadly, still staring into Heechul’s face, before answering. “He’s one thing that I didn’t plan. But I still feel thankful and blessed that he chose me over those other guys hovering around him since his ex left him. How could it be that someone would want to leave a beautiful creature alone amidst all the uncertainties of the world? It’s just sad that my role in his life is just the same as the one before me, to break him then leave him wounded in this mad world unprotected.” He then turned his head to his brother. “Please,… Help him… help him to cope up when I’m gone!...” Hankyung’s voice cracked as he said these words. It hurts him that he won’t be able to protect his little kitten any longer, and he will have to beg his younger brother to do that for him. If it’s the only way for Heechul to be safe, then beg he will. He’d go as much as to kneel down to his brother.
“I will try.” Kibum‘s words were short and unsure but it’s enough for him.
You don’t have to tell me that, hyung. I have once dedicated my life to protecting him like a lion to his cubs. But you’re wrong hyung! I left him because I needed to, not that I want to. Kibum thought as he walked out of his brother’s room.
Heechul woke up, the next day, to the brightness of the sun on his face. Remembering that they’re still in the hospital, he tried to get off of the bed before a nurse or a doctor comes in and sees him on it, but he couldn’t move because of heavy things wrapped on his waist and thighs. He turned to face the owner of those limbs around him, only to see a child-like Hankyung still asleep.
“Hankyung-ahh!” he softly tapped the arm around his waist. Instead of waking up, Hankyung tightened his arms around Heechul’s body. “Hankyung-ahh!!” he repeated, a little louder than the first call. This time, Hankyung stirred his head then slowly opened his eyes. He smiled dreamily to Heechul.
“Good Morning, chullie!! How was your sleep, kitten?”
“Aissh~! Hannie-ah~… let me get up already!” he wiggled endlessly as he pushed Hankyung’s arms away.
“Why are you so cranky this early?” Hankyung jokingly placed his arms back on Heechul’s waist.
“YAH!.. Let go of me, or I’ll… argh!” He tried to push Hankyung again and this time he did it successfully. On the other hand, Hankyung winced as he felt a jolt of pain on his temples so he pretended to lose and let go of Heechul. He laid his body back to the bed while breathing heavily.
Heechul got of the bed and stretched his aching muscles before turning around. Hankyung, who intercepted Heechul’s move, forced himself up on one elbow and slowed his breathing and flashed a wide grin.
“What are you smiling at?” Heechul got conscious at Hankyung’s stares so he ran to the bathroom to wash his face.
Once Heechul’s inside the bathroom, Hankyung plopped himself back to the bed, panting. “C’mon now, just bear with me a little more.” He held his head tight, afraid that the pain might rip his head apart.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.Two months later.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Heechul entered Hankyung’s room holding a basket full of fruits and a bouquet of freshly picked flowers from his little garden. He was not that surprised to see that Hankyung, stubborn as he always was, was not on his bed. He placed the basket and the bouquet on a table near the bed and went directly to the bathroom to search for Hankyung.
“Hanny~?” but Hankyung is no where to be found. A sudden attack of panic filled Heechul’s heart when he still can’t find Hankyung in the cafeteria and in the old people’s ward where he used to find his Hanny whenever he goes all stubborn again. Hankyung seemed to have a soft spot for these old people and he on them.
But where could he be? He ran wherever his feet take him. He would ask random nurses if they saw Hankyung somewhere around the hospital, but all of their answers are the same. “No.”
tbc