My first thoughts were "And in a year, he'll be sitting in pretty much the same spot, saying pretty much the same things.".
But, you are right. William and I are the only ones going to college this fall, so far we have 2 confirmed drop-outs, and I suspect more on the way.
I'm talking about the Hamilton group; the 5 of us. Who, more and more, are those 5 guys that don't know eachother anymore.
Personally, I'd love to stay close to everyone, but it is more obvious with every passing day that that's a dream I dream in vain. I only see you at Andy's, Jordan seems to be working his ass off to avoid me, Mark is distant as ever (but that's fine, I don't think there's any more distance there than there ever was. Mark's probably my best friend at the moment just because of the "comfortable silence"), William just doesn't exist to me anymore (not out of any bitterness, but I honestly haven't spoken to him in months). Sure, I have other friends. Brady is generally a pompous asshole, Sabi is hazardously depressed... The pattern continues.
But, for the most part, I'm doing fine. I've paid for school, I have a job to look forward to, and I have a hobby I'm happy with to pursue. Life isn't that bad. I have a fucking goal.
Bottom line... Yeah, you can't rely on anyone, even though you have to take the risk and do it on occasion. With all the honesty and sincerity I can muster, Jesse, good luck. You can rely on me as much as you can anyone else, and I'll help you out if the time ever comes that you have to ask for it.
With regaurds to that first line, about a year ago I would've agreed with you.
My problem was I was lost without you guys. I drafted Justin over to Reagan and that only made the situation worse because I had someone who was as smart as us, but with the same work ethic we all seem to have: none at all. Granted, you and William got it done, but you had to look to manipulation and alternative resources for your success. Fact of the matter: you lucked out. Sabi was an outlet for a greater means and no one recognizes that anymore than me. The bullshit heap is one we've all had at one point or another.
However, I got over it. Being away from you guys, I've realized you guys are fucking awful. I love all of you, but I'll be damned if I try and convince anyone ever again that you guys are great. After everyone told me they were going to Reagan I went along with it. Who ended up going? No one, but that's my fault. I wanted to be around friends more than I wanted my own success.
Now?
I don't give a damn who gets in my way. If succeeding at life means leaving everything and everyone behind I will no longer give it a second thought. It's done. If you want to know why everyone's distant I'll tell you. I'm still as close as ever to Jord. At least, I'd like to think so. Mark and I have never been close, but I try with him. William? We were pretty close, but that High School drift made a dent in our familiarity and though we still know we're the same people, shit has obviously changed. You and I used to be the same way, but to be honest dude, you just got weird. And I'm not saying this just to stir shit up or cover anybody's ass. I'm done doing that. I know you're not the type to tiptoe around anything if it's asked of you. The least I can do is be upfront with you as well. It may not please people, but that's not what I'm about anymore. I'm there for anybody if and when I can be. No more, no less.
"I know you're not the type to tiptoe around anything if it's asked of you. The least I can do is be upfront with you as well. It may not please people, but that's not what I'm about anymore. I'm there for anybody if and when I can be. No more, no less."
But, you are right. William and I are the only ones going to college this fall, so far we have 2 confirmed drop-outs, and I suspect more on the way.
I'm talking about the Hamilton group; the 5 of us. Who, more and more, are those 5 guys that don't know eachother anymore.
Personally, I'd love to stay close to everyone, but it is more obvious with every passing day that that's a dream I dream in vain. I only see you at Andy's, Jordan seems to be working his ass off to avoid me, Mark is distant as ever (but that's fine, I don't think there's any more distance there than there ever was. Mark's probably my best friend at the moment just because of the "comfortable silence"), William just doesn't exist to me anymore (not out of any bitterness, but I honestly haven't spoken to him in months). Sure, I have other friends. Brady is generally a pompous asshole, Sabi is hazardously depressed... The pattern continues.
But, for the most part, I'm doing fine. I've paid for school, I have a job to look forward to, and I have a hobby I'm happy with to pursue. Life isn't that bad. I have a fucking goal.
Bottom line... Yeah, you can't rely on anyone, even though you have to take the risk and do it on occasion. With all the honesty and sincerity I can muster, Jesse, good luck. You can rely on me as much as you can anyone else, and I'll help you out if the time ever comes that you have to ask for it.
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My problem was I was lost without you guys. I drafted Justin over to Reagan and that only made the situation worse because I had someone who was as smart as us, but with the same work ethic we all seem to have: none at all. Granted, you and William got it done, but you had to look to manipulation and alternative resources for your success. Fact of the matter: you lucked out. Sabi was an outlet for a greater means and no one recognizes that anymore than me. The bullshit heap is one we've all had at one point or another.
However, I got over it. Being away from you guys, I've realized you guys are fucking awful. I love all of you, but I'll be damned if I try and convince anyone ever again that you guys are great. After everyone told me they were going to Reagan I went along with it. Who ended up going? No one, but that's my fault. I wanted to be around friends more than I wanted my own success.
Now?
I don't give a damn who gets in my way. If succeeding at life means leaving everything and everyone behind I will no longer give it a second thought. It's done. If you want to know why everyone's distant I'll tell you. I'm still as close as ever to Jord. At least, I'd like to think so. Mark and I have never been close, but I try with him. William? We were pretty close, but that High School drift made a dent in our familiarity and though we still know we're the same people, shit has obviously changed. You and I used to be the same way, but to be honest dude, you just got weird. And I'm not saying this just to stir shit up or cover anybody's ass. I'm done doing that. I know you're not the type to tiptoe around anything if it's asked of you. The least I can do is be upfront with you as well. It may not please people, but that's not what I'm about anymore. I'm there for anybody if and when I can be. No more, no less.
Reply
That's why I respect you. Peace.
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