the last few days have been insane, may be triggering
I'm about to face Thanksgiving, one of the perils of being American. A gazillion people squish together in my brother's house and eat, and converse for several hours.
This would be fantastic, and it would be reassuring to have so many relatives, if I didn't have PTSD triggered by crowds. So I sit on the floor in the corner, with my back wedged against the wall, and try to breathe. Buddhists say to calm your ass down count your breathe to 108. If I can remember jack shit, I try to do that.
Also, at least 3/4 of these idiots are extremely right wing religious types. Fer example, we were talking about pay issues once, and brother #2 said he was opposed to minimum wage hikes because since he had started working there had been a few, and nobody gave him a pay raise at the time.
They are opposed to food stamps, most aid to the poor, etc, regardless of the fact that we were raised on it. We were so poor we were eligible for every program out there.
They've found one verse in the Bible that says if you don't work, you shouldn't work and cling to that fiercely. They are oblivious to the hundreds, perhaps thousands of places where the Bible says to give charity, help the unfortunate, etc.
So I try to be as peaceful as possible and not say anything unless they are horribly outrageous, and sometimes not even then.
I try not to be the 1st one to leave. Altho, I have had somebody call me, so I could leave. Dude needs a ride because he has a flat, what can I do?
Louie really calms me down. She might be a self trained service dog. She can tell I'm going to have a panic attack before I can. She also alerts me to innocent people trying to have a life that might be coming up behind me.
Trouble is, most of my relatives are allergic to dogs. So I can't take her.
This entry was originally posted at dreamwidth.org
This would be fantastic, and it would be reassuring to have so many relatives, if I didn't have PTSD triggered by crowds. So I sit on the floor in the corner, with my back wedged against the wall, and try to breathe. Buddhists say to calm your ass down count your breathe to 108. If I can remember jack shit, I try to do that.
Also, at least 3/4 of these idiots are extremely right wing religious types. Fer example, we were talking about pay issues once, and brother #2 said he was opposed to minimum wage hikes because since he had started working there had been a few, and nobody gave him a pay raise at the time.
They are opposed to food stamps, most aid to the poor, etc, regardless of the fact that we were raised on it. We were so poor we were eligible for every program out there.
They've found one verse in the Bible that says if you don't work, you shouldn't work and cling to that fiercely. They are oblivious to the hundreds, perhaps thousands of places where the Bible says to give charity, help the unfortunate, etc.
So I try to be as peaceful as possible and not say anything unless they are horribly outrageous, and sometimes not even then.
I try not to be the 1st one to leave. Altho, I have had somebody call me, so I could leave. Dude needs a ride because he has a flat, what can I do?
Louie really calms me down. She might be a self trained service dog. She can tell I'm going to have a panic attack before I can. She also alerts me to innocent people trying to have a life that might be coming up behind me.
Trouble is, most of my relatives are allergic to dogs. So I can't take her.
This entry was originally posted at dreamwidth.org