(no subject)
I believe I was in the middle of slaying a dragon and just about to climb the stairs to yonder fair maiden when I was sent into a flashback of my childhood.
The rough hands of my father clamped down on my shoulders and I was unceremoniously pulled awake. My father informed me that it was that magical time of the year. It was time to go buy explosives. So, we all piled into three cars, and took off to the reservation to pick up our ammo.
I was driving my father's sedan, Colin took my mother's station-wagon, and my dad of course took his Shelby Cobra or what I like to call, his orgasm on wheels. Colin and I with our full load of children followed my father to a near-by gas station where we lead the children in a rousing song "Asshole". To their credit, the kids really got into it, and most of them had memorized the song already. We sang so loud and with so much enthusiasm that the attendant and customers came out with confused grins on their faces just to watch the insanity.
Once we were gased up, we took off and my dad quickly lost us in traffic. I continued on in the direction that I thought my dad had taken, but after driving a couple of miles in that random direction, we pulled over and started fiddling with the GPS. On second thought, I let the 14 year old next to me start fiddling with it. Apperantly the little screen and lights didn't look alien technology to him. While the kid (Tristan) played with the GPS, I decided to give my old man a call on his cell phone. I soon heard a ringing next to me, which was obviously my father's phone. We decided at that point to back track to the gas-station and wait for my dad there, but on the way we spotted dad waiting at the turn which we hadn't seen him take. After that, my dad didn't try so hard to ditch us.
[there is a loud cracking sound as the keyboard is subject to a violent takeover by Colin]
We got to the Indian Reservation, and there were probably 30 or 40 competing booths all selling colorful explosives at "discount" prices. For a minute, it was fun to watch how each merchant roped customers with the idea that they had to slash their prices dramatically to outsell their neighbor, and then end up screwing the customer anyway.
[a muffled thump and crashing sound is heard as Colin is subject to a violent counterattack by Zack]
Colin walked up to one of these booths randomly and asked him bluntly why his booth was better than all of the rest of them. He started spouting off some BS line that I don't remember, and I interrupted him by asking him what the biggest explosive he had was. He pointed at some cartoon looking bundle of crackers with a giant corny looking fuse attached at the top. I glanced at it and pointedly asked if he had any single large explosives that might not be on display. He got a little uncomfortable and started asking what else we were going to purchase, because he was going to risk getting arrested over $2 for a stick of dynomite. Well, I wasn't about to blow $50 on silly fireworks just to get some good stuff, so we tipped our hats and continued on.
[Zack suddenly finds himself elsewhere with an intense throbbing sensation in his maxilla, and Colin is in command once again.]
We decided that we were bored, and whenever we are bored, the knives usually come out. In this situation, we didn't disappoint. We decided to use our time to practice, since Luke's friends were all busy buying us fireworks anyway. Even though we didn't pass a hat, we got a bit of a crowd watching, and one moron who worked at the food booth who thought he could juggle and was humiliated thoroughly shortly afterward. (I love my new job.)
When we got back to the house, things began to blow up immediately. I'm pretty sure everyone still has most of their fingers, and no dogs were hurt in the combustion process. Zack and I decided to use the afternoon to rehearse our act, and practice some new material, and overall we had a good rehearsal. We got a lot done, and we used Luke's friends as a test audience. They were so jazzed afterward that we even got them to play theatre games with us, which was great. After dinner when it got dark, more things blew up, and it was pretty spectacular to look out over the foothills and seeing the fireworks popping up out of the woods constantly in every direction. It sounded like a war-zone. Zack was having a great time with his propane torch, lighting entire packages of rockets at the same time, and I tried to take a few pictures, but it turns out that cameras suck in the dark. Oh well. After that it was s'mores and more TV war documentaries, Bish's favorite. Here are some pictures.
