failure
if i fail at being a good anorexic, i have failed at life. it is a life i crave, yet one i hate all the same. my mind is getting better. i still get very disordered thoughts. but then, im not convinced that these ever go away. whats the point in eating if you still get the incessant voices and thoughts? i may as well not eat and atleast feel like i am achieving something. its a lose-lose situation here. how did i get into this mess, and why cant i get out of it as easily? i was in therapy for over four years. i should be fixed. well, if im not fixed, i want to be the best little eating-disordered princess i can be. but, im failing at that. im getting fat. im probably the heaviest i have evr been, 130-ish. i havent weighed in a while...
i need help and support. someone, anyone. i need to get the control back. i need.
i can do it. i can do it. i can do it. i can do it.
i open my arms and empty my soul. i surrender to you. i surrender to you. what is mine is ours.
crap.... :(
i need help and support. someone, anyone. i need to get the control back. i need.
i can do it. i can do it. i can do it. i can do it.
i open my arms and empty my soul. i surrender to you. i surrender to you. what is mine is ours.
crap.... :(