HOMECOMIN.....the REAL type!

[morntilldawn]

I'm coming home. tennessee boys ..... just...idk suck. I mean sure there's a few nice FREINDS, but none really waht i'm looking for. Granted it's hard to know what i'm lookin for seeing as sometimes i want a relationship sometimes i want just a good time. tennessee boys aren't even good for that!!! Maybe its just the fact that part of me knows what i want but i'm too stuborn to ask or even admit it to myself. and i don't really want that....most of the time. i just miss his friendship. but he doesnt' love me. noone does....not like that.. i told him that. he said he always would love me like that. i guess thats just another lie on his books. Sometimes i hate him for it. but yo know. i brought it on myself. NO i can't say that. I can't blame myself for this too....maybe its all the same. maybe the reason i can't be loved is because i still blame myself for that. but i trust guys....idk. maybe i just suck. but I'm coming home therefore we all have to han out. maybe i'll find what i'm lookin for. maybe i'll stop blamin myself. maybe there will be a miracle.

hows that for hopeful?

taking a page from Eggers book....
(may he find a way to love me)