Hello world, I am the queen of robots, I eat souls
Last night I had a dream that I was in Chelsea holloways car and she pulled to the side of the road and I got out of the car and walked into a house I'd never been to before and I walked right in and started talking to this girl that I didn't recodnise at all at fiest. she had very long very black hair and a pretty pale face, but was soooooo thin like a little too thin like disgustingly thin. she looked like she was 5'7" and 100 pounds. I started talking to her like I she was my best friend. then I realized. It was a far to skinny Alisa Shink in a pair of tight jeans and a wife beater with pounds of makeup on. apparently in my dream we were like best friends. How she looked startled me though It really creeped me out. So ALISA- I don't even know if you read this anymore and I know I haven't talked to you in about a year... you are beautiful. I'm not saying that you would ever have an eating dissorder or anything, my dream just made me very worried about your well being. And If you ever need anyone to talk to, and I kno we havent tlaked in a while, I'm always here... and you really are beautiful I'm not just trying to be nice because I'm not that nice of a person (more like robot actually).
My previous statement pretty much says it all about how I've been emotionally lately. I am the queen of the robots. feelings are overrated to me as of right now and honestly I'd rather smile and nod numbly at you then actually pretend to give a shit about what you're saying. I'm so tired. emotionally not physically. I feel as though I used up all my emotions in my first 18 years of life and now I'm numb. Yeah, it's great and all. trust me. but it's sad that the only things that have really bothered me in the last 6 months are Matt, Big Nick going away, and the dream I had about Alisa (it really shook me up).
people just piss me off. I think I'm done with them for a while.
Although, Charlie and I did have a lovely conversation today. It was quite nice. And megan did finally wach slc punk with me. And Nick is the best friend anyone can ever ask for, so maybe not all people.
I've been listening to a lot of joan jett/distillers/hole lately. fantastic. No really it has been. Except I finally realize how much Brody has ripped off Joan Jett and it pisses me off. I grew up wanting to be Brody and it turns out that even she has an idol which sucks because she's like a god to me. Completely and toatally origional and perfect and anything that makes her seem more human makes her less appealing to me. Whatever. She was, is and will always be god like to me. I think its time to expand the musical horizions, and experement. Although I know this is never going to happen because I'm extreemly picky, and I've listened to many bands old and new, and what I listen to is just what I like of the bunch. ehh oh well.
I spent all day thinking about/planning/getting matt gifts for his birthday. then what does he do? If you guessed "be the hugest fucking asshole in the world" you win the prize. Thanx honey.
My previous statement pretty much says it all about how I've been emotionally lately. I am the queen of the robots. feelings are overrated to me as of right now and honestly I'd rather smile and nod numbly at you then actually pretend to give a shit about what you're saying. I'm so tired. emotionally not physically. I feel as though I used up all my emotions in my first 18 years of life and now I'm numb. Yeah, it's great and all. trust me. but it's sad that the only things that have really bothered me in the last 6 months are Matt, Big Nick going away, and the dream I had about Alisa (it really shook me up).
people just piss me off. I think I'm done with them for a while.
Although, Charlie and I did have a lovely conversation today. It was quite nice. And megan did finally wach slc punk with me. And Nick is the best friend anyone can ever ask for, so maybe not all people.
I've been listening to a lot of joan jett/distillers/hole lately. fantastic. No really it has been. Except I finally realize how much Brody has ripped off Joan Jett and it pisses me off. I grew up wanting to be Brody and it turns out that even she has an idol which sucks because she's like a god to me. Completely and toatally origional and perfect and anything that makes her seem more human makes her less appealing to me. Whatever. She was, is and will always be god like to me. I think its time to expand the musical horizions, and experement. Although I know this is never going to happen because I'm extreemly picky, and I've listened to many bands old and new, and what I listen to is just what I like of the bunch. ehh oh well.
I spent all day thinking about/planning/getting matt gifts for his birthday. then what does he do? If you guessed "be the hugest fucking asshole in the world" you win the prize. Thanx honey.