(no subject)
Well, today is the day I'll decide whether to do it or not. I realize now that the reason Ashlin broke up with me had to be a result of subconscious disgust with me, because all this time I've dated him I have been too depressed, morose, and angry with everyone. I am too moody for anyone to get along with, and the only reason I've gotten along with him is because he's always agreed with me up to this point. I need to stop looking for people I have too much in common with, and I need to stop being so depressed and look at the beauty in life around me. But it's so hard to see. At the same time as I want to take in the beauty, I would rather curl up into a ball and cease to exist. I don't know who I am anymore.