The meaning of pappayo...
Hi. I just wanted to pop in to say that I'm really busy these days. Its been much different that last semester, like I knew it would be, and in some ways I know I'll get tired of lack of sleep and lots of studying but I also know that ... this is great for me. Last semester I sat around and had too much time to think, which is awful. Really awful for me. I hate over thinking. My sleep schedule is gonna be more regular now, and I'm actually accomplishing a lot. It feels great after a whole day of going to classes and studying because I'm learning and getting educated (not the same thing, I assure you) and meeting some different people and doing new things. This is good.
Of course, it hurts me a little when everything I want to do is floating so nearby (as near as, say, the 'new tab' button on my internet browser). Tonight was the Season premiere of Lost, which I missed. The new episode (I typed epidose) of Boys Over Flowers is out. New chapter of Chasing Taboo. I keep coming up with new oneshot story ideas. Etc. But it also feels good, when I finally get to doing those fun things, my homework is all done. What a great feeling. (Gretchen. My favorite song. haha)
There is one sad thing going on, and that would be Youngwook leaving for home on Friday. We kept in touch over winter break, and I planned to call him as soon as I got back to B-town. But by that time I didn't want to. I guess I thought it would be awkward, and I figured if I can do without seeing him, why not do just that? I finally asked if he wanted to meet today, since he's leaving soon. So we went to eat dinner, and at first it WAS awkward and I was like, 'this is why I didn't want to call him,' but then it turned back into us and we talked about all kinds of stuff and I made fun of his English and he made fun of my Korean and I gave him his present and we laughed and told stories and shared tiramisu. I thought he would take me home before I got picked up for church but he ended up just going with me. Its funny the predicaments I put people in--no body can understand his name, so it was kind of funny. haha. But of course they were delighted to see someone new and were oh so nice. I love those people. Anyway, he took me home afterwards and we got out of the car and hugged each other and his eyes were looking a little watery so I told him not to cry ;_; He might come back over tomorrow.
So I conclude that the reason I didn't call him was because I didn't want to remember that I don't want him to go. I don't want any of my friends to go. But now they're all back in Korea and its lonely. I feel like things turned out kind of strangely between Youngwook and I. But I know we'll stay in touch, and I really hope to meet him in Seoul someday. Aish. He's such an adorable gentleman. I already miss him.
I also realized tonight when I was sitting next to him in church that taking people to church here is so much easier. Although sometimes I worry that visitors will get the wrong idea by the small building, the people there are so welcoming that you couldn't possibly feel ...unwelcome. I've brought more visitors to this church in the past 5 months than I brought to my church at home EVER. And I think that that is because going to church here is MY priority. Not my parent's priority. Not the family obligation. Not "the right thing to do." Its me. I can't not go. I love that. I hope I get more people to go there.
So tonight is a tired, bittersweet, but happy note in the tune of my life.
y so cheezy.
Good night everybody. I think I'll read the CT chapter before going to bed. ^^
Of course, it hurts me a little when everything I want to do is floating so nearby (as near as, say, the 'new tab' button on my internet browser). Tonight was the Season premiere of Lost, which I missed. The new episode (I typed epidose) of Boys Over Flowers is out. New chapter of Chasing Taboo. I keep coming up with new oneshot story ideas. Etc. But it also feels good, when I finally get to doing those fun things, my homework is all done. What a great feeling. (Gretchen. My favorite song. haha)
There is one sad thing going on, and that would be Youngwook leaving for home on Friday. We kept in touch over winter break, and I planned to call him as soon as I got back to B-town. But by that time I didn't want to. I guess I thought it would be awkward, and I figured if I can do without seeing him, why not do just that? I finally asked if he wanted to meet today, since he's leaving soon. So we went to eat dinner, and at first it WAS awkward and I was like, 'this is why I didn't want to call him,' but then it turned back into us and we talked about all kinds of stuff and I made fun of his English and he made fun of my Korean and I gave him his present and we laughed and told stories and shared tiramisu. I thought he would take me home before I got picked up for church but he ended up just going with me. Its funny the predicaments I put people in--no body can understand his name, so it was kind of funny. haha. But of course they were delighted to see someone new and were oh so nice. I love those people. Anyway, he took me home afterwards and we got out of the car and hugged each other and his eyes were looking a little watery so I told him not to cry ;_; He might come back over tomorrow.
So I conclude that the reason I didn't call him was because I didn't want to remember that I don't want him to go. I don't want any of my friends to go. But now they're all back in Korea and its lonely. I feel like things turned out kind of strangely between Youngwook and I. But I know we'll stay in touch, and I really hope to meet him in Seoul someday. Aish. He's such an adorable gentleman. I already miss him.
I also realized tonight when I was sitting next to him in church that taking people to church here is so much easier. Although sometimes I worry that visitors will get the wrong idea by the small building, the people there are so welcoming that you couldn't possibly feel ...unwelcome. I've brought more visitors to this church in the past 5 months than I brought to my church at home EVER. And I think that that is because going to church here is MY priority. Not my parent's priority. Not the family obligation. Not "the right thing to do." Its me. I can't not go. I love that. I hope I get more people to go there.
So tonight is a tired, bittersweet, but happy note in the tune of my life.
y so cheezy.
Good night everybody. I think I'll read the CT chapter before going to bed. ^^