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[morninggray]

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks, but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me what's inside of you when you're reading through my entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come

Comments

[anonymous]

I'm just passing through but the concept of this type of post struck a cord with me...

There are so many things we all keep bottled up inside. I continuously wish I could share these things with other people but I either freeze up and fake it when someone asks or just can't find the words. So often it's because I can't explain what I'm feeling or don't even understand what it is that I'm feeling. Then instead of talking I start to hurt my self physically, probably more in hopes that someone will notice what I've done and pay attention to me than anything else. It's a cry for help and attention and I ALWAYS feel guilty for doing it. But that guilt just triggers the next round of doubt and sadness and it's quite the evil cycle. It's a cycle really you think I'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you. Well I think you're insensitive and I don't feel heard Alanis Morissette lyrics incase you recognize that ;)

I used to think it would end, that I could sort out my life well enough so that I could feel normal. But I've come to realize that it doesn't matter how good or bad my life is at any given moment, how I'm feeling is only based on one thing - my statement of mind. At times I'm completely normal and healthy, but then the next minute, often for no apparent reason, my entire world can come crashing down. It's depressing more than anything else and I constantly wonder how long I'll survive feeling like this.

I apologize that this post probably has little meaning for you but I couldn't resist when I saw this. I may use this in my own journal, I hope you don't mind.

[morninggray]

This post actually has a lot of meaning to me, even though it's anonymous.
I wish I could say something meaningful to you, but words are hard to find in such cases. I've been there, but not as trapped as you sound now, because my cycle has been broken and I did stop, but it's not that I can point to reasons why or say hey do it this way. All I can say is that I'm really really sorry you feel this way and the usual "if you ever want to talk.." although that probably is hard for you and ofcourse it sounds only like a little sentence and might not offer any real help, I want you to know I meant it nevertheless.