Back at Wells Part 2
This entry is going to be kinda sappy and really whiny
so dont read it if you dont want to....
I have never felt so out of place in my life. It's sad to call this
place home for the next 2 years of my life...i really just want to feel
as though i'm at home...i want to feel relaxed and i want to be able to
talk to people and hang out but stupid high school shit...i can't fault
people for wanting to find themselves but at the same time i can't get
upset by it because i can't continue to let people make me feel the way
that they do....i really do want a a good year...i really want to excel
and jsut move on...college is supposed to be the best times of your
life....when is it going to be my turn....? Freshman year was kinda
rough it had it's good times though and the people who helped make it
have really help me shape my life...Sophmore year was rough....I was
not ready to face my own mortality...when chris died something in me
died...and it has nothing to do with how close we were...there were
other who were closer but it has to do with the fact that as a teen you
feel invincible...chris dying showed me that i too will die...maybe
soon maybe not...but either way it was a really big smack in the
face....so i lived it up like all kids are supposed to but then i
realized that it's those very actions that made me feel so
depressed...i had no control over my life and i still dont...what a
shitty feeling...my happiness depends on other people...why is this??
this year i'm making a genuine effort to change it....so fuck off if
you feel like you are going to take advantage of my friendship