(no subject)
Greg and I talked. A lot. He understood in the end what I was thinking and what I need. That I can't be with him not because I don't love him, but because I am not willing to give up my career and my family to move across the country for a man who can't even come to Canada because of his past. Plus he still doesn't have a job. It doesn't change that I still love him. Like really love him. I want to be with him. But I can't. And that hurts so much today. We have still been talking, but we're both really sad. And nothing feels the same. Because it isn't, and won't ever be the same.
I miss him a ton. I was supposed to drive to NY today and then we would drive to NH right afterwards to see his family out there for Easter. We would have had a great trip. With amazing sex. And fantastic snuggles.
Today just feels very off. I think I am going to clean and get ready for easter eggs tonight with Kate's family. Tomorrow I am going to Ikea with Kat, and then I am going out to the Loop with Kate and a couple other people. It is open to all if anyone else wants to come. I have been keeping busy all week, but now that I've stopped and intended to relax today I feel numb and dead inside.
To add to it all, Angelo and I got in a huge fight over nothing major on Tuesday, and then it bled through the week and ended up in a huge blowout yesterday while I was at work, and now we're not talking and I don't know if we ever will again.
Maybe I'll rearrange my living room today. I could use the change I think.
I miss him a ton. I was supposed to drive to NY today and then we would drive to NH right afterwards to see his family out there for Easter. We would have had a great trip. With amazing sex. And fantastic snuggles.
Today just feels very off. I think I am going to clean and get ready for easter eggs tonight with Kate's family. Tomorrow I am going to Ikea with Kat, and then I am going out to the Loop with Kate and a couple other people. It is open to all if anyone else wants to come. I have been keeping busy all week, but now that I've stopped and intended to relax today I feel numb and dead inside.
To add to it all, Angelo and I got in a huge fight over nothing major on Tuesday, and then it bled through the week and ended up in a huge blowout yesterday while I was at work, and now we're not talking and I don't know if we ever will again.
Maybe I'll rearrange my living room today. I could use the change I think.