(no subject)
Hating my life right now.
Hating life so much, that I engaged in a number of self-destructive behaviors this weekend. They are listed in approximate chronological order (you know what else is sad is that I still didn't get a chance to update about my more interesting weekend last weekend that was less self-destructive, but I'll get there). Anyway, the list*:
1) Getting completely wasted in front of coworkers
2) Driving 45 mins while completely wasted, almost hitting a deer**
3) Resuming drinking after driving to my destination
4) Drinking to the point of passing out (first time ever that I have passed out from drinking)
5) Getting sick from drinking, too sick to go to work
6) Engaging in lying, blind hatred, revenge plots, and drinking to mask my problems with other people rather than talking calmly with them
7) Spending time in Newark, NJ
8)...by myself...
9)...at 3 am...
10)...in about 50 degree F weather...
11)...dressed in whore-like manner...
12)...drinking (actually, that happened with item #13, not really by myself)...
13) Talking to strangers
14) Eating McDonald's breakfast (actually, I usually love McDonald's b-fast, but given how McDonald's b-fast violates all laws of healthy eating and kashrut, I list it as a self-destructive behavior)
15) Not sleeping for 36 hours
16) Driving 2.5 hours without having slept in 36 hours/while being hungover
17) Nearly falling asleep on major interstate highway while driving
18) Sleeping for 14 hours straight (which doesn't sound self-destructive, but you don't understand what that does to me)
There were some good moments during the weekend. Steph's play was good, I did a fine job reading Torah (even though I learned it while drunk/hungover, which has got to be a halachic no-no), Valerie and I had fun shopping, I had a good time seeing Aaron and meeting his friend Bailey and going to the comedy club (which was hysterical) and Tom was a fine friend.
There's really nothing else you need to know about this weekend because you're smart enough to connect the dots. I'll write something about the previous weekend, which was more profound and less self-destructive.
*Insert "Lying and Drinking" in between all listed activities. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but not too much
**4.5) Being almost disappointed about not hitting the deer...not that I would have wanted to take anyone (person or animal) down with me, but...
G-d must like me, or at least not dislike me very much because I don't really deserve to be alive for practical reasons (given all the self-destructive behaviors) or moral reasons. Course, one should never speak too soon, but like I said, there's little practical or moral reason for me to be alive right now so I gotta have faith...
Now I have that song stuck in my head..."Because I gotta have faith faith faith..." you know that one?
Hating life so much, that I engaged in a number of self-destructive behaviors this weekend. They are listed in approximate chronological order (you know what else is sad is that I still didn't get a chance to update about my more interesting weekend last weekend that was less self-destructive, but I'll get there). Anyway, the list*:
1) Getting completely wasted in front of coworkers
2) Driving 45 mins while completely wasted, almost hitting a deer**
3) Resuming drinking after driving to my destination
4) Drinking to the point of passing out (first time ever that I have passed out from drinking)
5) Getting sick from drinking, too sick to go to work
6) Engaging in lying, blind hatred, revenge plots, and drinking to mask my problems with other people rather than talking calmly with them
7) Spending time in Newark, NJ
8)...by myself...
9)...at 3 am...
10)...in about 50 degree F weather...
11)...dressed in whore-like manner...
12)...drinking (actually, that happened with item #13, not really by myself)...
13) Talking to strangers
14) Eating McDonald's breakfast (actually, I usually love McDonald's b-fast, but given how McDonald's b-fast violates all laws of healthy eating and kashrut, I list it as a self-destructive behavior)
15) Not sleeping for 36 hours
16) Driving 2.5 hours without having slept in 36 hours/while being hungover
17) Nearly falling asleep on major interstate highway while driving
18) Sleeping for 14 hours straight (which doesn't sound self-destructive, but you don't understand what that does to me)
There were some good moments during the weekend. Steph's play was good, I did a fine job reading Torah (even though I learned it while drunk/hungover, which has got to be a halachic no-no), Valerie and I had fun shopping, I had a good time seeing Aaron and meeting his friend Bailey and going to the comedy club (which was hysterical) and Tom was a fine friend.
There's really nothing else you need to know about this weekend because you're smart enough to connect the dots. I'll write something about the previous weekend, which was more profound and less self-destructive.
*Insert "Lying and Drinking" in between all listed activities. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but not too much
**4.5) Being almost disappointed about not hitting the deer...not that I would have wanted to take anyone (person or animal) down with me, but...
G-d must like me, or at least not dislike me very much because I don't really deserve to be alive for practical reasons (given all the self-destructive behaviors) or moral reasons. Course, one should never speak too soon, but like I said, there's little practical or moral reason for me to be alive right now so I gotta have faith...
Now I have that song stuck in my head..."Because I gotta have faith faith faith..." you know that one?