(no subject)
i wish people would leave me alone about eating ketchup with my meat...
i wish people would stop talking about prom too...i seriously think i'm not gonna go...and in fact...the more i think about it, the more i don't want to go. you see, by the time prom rolls around, everyone in the group is going to find someone to go with. so the whole idea about "going as group" is sort of...well, not there. don't try to fucking deny it. b/c it's true. everyone has an idea of who they want to ask, or who they're going with. and i don't fucking feel like being left out for the fifty fucking billionth time. i don't want to feel like the only reason my date asked me or said yes was b/c they felt sorry for me. i don't need fucking pity...i don't want to feel so repulsive and have to sit in the fucking corner just watching other couples...i don't want to think to myself "damnit rose, why can't you be as loving and carefree as them?" or "are you so ugly that the only person who would even think about going with you is that kid in chem II who pokes you and acts like he's in 2nd grade?" or how about "well, the third date my whole high school career that i get to spend trying to impose on my friends who said they were going as a fucking group"...i don't feel like being surrounded by people swapping spit or gazing into each other's eyes or crap..i don't need it. i see it everyday. i don't want to think about dresses..or spending 232304823423 dollars on dinner...or just...being alone in a huge fucking group...God...if i get anymore depressed i'm going to kill myself...
evan had people over at his house today. he cooked us a valintine dinner. it was mucho delicioso. some of us played scabble too. that was amusing.
hannah and i were wearing the same shirt.
i drove brandy home and randomly remembered that in 10th grade robby told me "the only reason i put up with you is b/c my friends are your friends. if i just saw you walking down the hall one day, i'd pretty much hate you." and right now...i'd think he's right...
i wish people would stop talking about prom too...i seriously think i'm not gonna go...and in fact...the more i think about it, the more i don't want to go. you see, by the time prom rolls around, everyone in the group is going to find someone to go with. so the whole idea about "going as group" is sort of...well, not there. don't try to fucking deny it. b/c it's true. everyone has an idea of who they want to ask, or who they're going with. and i don't fucking feel like being left out for the fifty fucking billionth time. i don't want to feel like the only reason my date asked me or said yes was b/c they felt sorry for me. i don't need fucking pity...i don't want to feel so repulsive and have to sit in the fucking corner just watching other couples...i don't want to think to myself "damnit rose, why can't you be as loving and carefree as them?" or "are you so ugly that the only person who would even think about going with you is that kid in chem II who pokes you and acts like he's in 2nd grade?" or how about "well, the third date my whole high school career that i get to spend trying to impose on my friends who said they were going as a fucking group"...i don't feel like being surrounded by people swapping spit or gazing into each other's eyes or crap..i don't need it. i see it everyday. i don't want to think about dresses..or spending 232304823423 dollars on dinner...or just...being alone in a huge fucking group...God...if i get anymore depressed i'm going to kill myself...
evan had people over at his house today. he cooked us a valintine dinner. it was mucho delicioso. some of us played scabble too. that was amusing.
hannah and i were wearing the same shirt.
i drove brandy home and randomly remembered that in 10th grade robby told me "the only reason i put up with you is b/c my friends are your friends. if i just saw you walking down the hall one day, i'd pretty much hate you." and right now...i'd think he's right...