No, I'd actually like to have children. But I'm into free thought, and making children because you want them and able to nurture them, not just because you "should".
No more than any woman. I've been told motherhood is the essence of being a woman, that God will supply for children I'm not able to support, and of course, the presented ideal of a family. Excuse me if I'm wrong - but didn't you and S. wait until you were able to support your children? You gave it quite a thought, didn't you? Don't you think that should be the norm?
Yes, certainly. Having kids has always been considered from the financial point of view as well. However, I think that the whole "pressure" thing is a bit exaggerated in your post. If you know for sure what you want and where you're going, you can easily brush the "aunties" aside. If it's giving you discomfort, it's mainly because of your own doubts. Think about it.
I'm not offended, I just think it's off topic and irrelevant. Whether I want kids or not - and I must ask myself, every time I feel the general expectation for it, do I really want it or am I just brainwashed - is not the point. I wrote about social norms not fitting everyone and the need to minimize the effect of default choices. You can say you think norms in these areas are good, or a nessecety, or that you agree with me they aren't, but going through my wills is just irrelevant.
Okay, I'll say something general. I think that in general, norms are a good thing, because they keep society from falling apart. Society feels very uncomfortable with nonconformist attitudes, and rightly so. Without norms there's not enough "glue" to keep a bunch of people living and working together.
No, I am not kidding. If someone choses to have an unusual lifestyle, they should expect to be rejected (to some extent) by society. What do you mean by the question "do you actually live by that"? Can you be more specific?
Who gets to determine what is usual and what isn't? "society"? We ARE society. We get to say what is usual by accepting choices that are completely different than what we'd chose for ourselves - as long as we are not hurt by it (we're not talking about the right to shoot people on the street, mind you). Why should we cling to old norms? Because women with no kids or marriage are weird and/or damaged? gay people should be cast out or even put to death? the list goes on and on
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The things that are "usual" are set by every society. Things that are usual in Mea She'arim maybe unacceptable in the center of Tel-Aviv, and vice versa. I didn't say that you, or anyone else should cling to old norms. I'm just saying that there's a price for being deviant by choice. As for having kids, there's a thing called "motherly instinct". If a woman doesn't possess this trait, there's something unusual about her, yes. As for gay people - I understand they don't have much of a choice, do they?
If a woman doesn't possess a "motherly instinct", she just doesn't. So what choices does she have, in comparison to gay people? You are willing to eccept the deviancy of being gay (acknowledging they have no choice) but you reject the choice of no kids or not marriage. Sounds like it's the idea of free will that bothers you.
I stand corrected. I believe that 99% of women have the motherly instinct, but some of them choose to suppress it. I believe it is a matter of choice. As for marriage, I'm okay with couples that live together without marriage. Doesn't seem very unusual to me.
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Excuse me if I'm wrong - but didn't you and S. wait until you were able to support your children? You gave it quite a thought, didn't you? Don't you think that should be the norm?
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You can say you think norms in these areas are good, or a nessecety, or that you agree with me they aren't, but going through my wills is just irrelevant.
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This sentence actually scares me. Are you kidding?! do you really believe that? ...more important - do YOU actually live by that?
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What do you mean by the question "do you actually live by that"? Can you be more specific?
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I didn't say that you, or anyone else should cling to old norms. I'm just saying that there's a price for being deviant by choice.
As for having kids, there's a thing called "motherly instinct". If a woman doesn't possess this trait, there's something unusual about her, yes.
As for gay people - I understand they don't have much of a choice, do they?
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You are willing to eccept the deviancy of being gay (acknowledging they have no choice) but you reject the choice of no kids or not marriage. Sounds like it's the idea of free will that bothers you.
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As for marriage, I'm okay with couples that live together without marriage. Doesn't seem very unusual to me.
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