Summer testimony
So if you've been in contact with me at all this summer, you know I've been uncharacteristically worried about my life. It started when I didn't have a job at graduation and had to move home, which I would rather not have done. I didn't understand why all the places I applied to wouldn't take me. I felt qualified and employable. So I went home and got to spend an amazing month and a half with my family, probably for the last time ever. I went to my brother's baseball games, hung out late at night with my sister (doing a little *ahem* online shopping, haha fog), got to buy my parents a round of drinks (which was a first), and just generally spend time reading and studying the Bible and figuring out what God was teachingme during this difficult time of my life.
Okay, maybe it doesn't sound difficult, relaxing and playing with the family and all, but keep in mind, the whole time I was tirelessly job searching to no avail. I just kept getting more and more discouraged (ask Becky or Ben). I read the book Too Busy Not to Pray by Bill Hybles (strongly recommended), and the book taught me that God is good (duh, but something I need to be reminded of sometimes) and that he desires to give good gifts to his children! The Bible says "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart" (psalm 37:4). It also says, "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (james 1:17). These verses helped me to ask boldly for (what I considered to be) the miraculous: a great apartment and a job I loved with great people that provided for my needs.
Now that sounded to me like a lot to ask. Too much for God to bother with, and why should he bless me with my heart's desire? But as I continued to pray, I realized that, first, I don't deserve any blessings, and, second, that God longs to give good things to those who love him. So I prayed this prayer all summer. But in the meantime, nothing seemed to be happening. Week after week in June, no answer to prayer. During my quiet time I began asking God, why aren't you responding? am I doing something wrong? don't you know how much I need a job and a place to live? Well of course he knows. He knew before I figured it out. And when I read the Bible, I kept getting the same message over and over again: Wait for the Lord. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. (psalm 27:14). Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you (Proverbs 20:22). The Israelites waited 40 YEARS in the desert for the Lord's promised land. Every time I opened my BIble, it seemed, God told me to chill out and trust him. So I tried. It ain't easy! But then I found my dream apartment and it's glorious. Praise God. Then I got a few interviews. Praise God!
Once I was in my apartment, though, I had to buy food, and make rent, and pay the electric bill. And I'll admit it, I doubted if God really wanted to answer my "miracle prayer." Sure, I knew he could, but why would he? I mean, wasn't I asking too much? Then I got a job offer from one of the places I interviewed with, but I felt uneasy about it. Something about the interviewer, the fact that they made me come down twice to reject me both times and then ask me for a third, something about the process...I didn't feel at peace about it. But it was a job, a job that would pay the rent. So I prayed about it and really felt God saying to me, "I have better things for you! Let me bless you!" So I waited. And boy, was it hard. To turn down something sure for something uncertain when you need it so badly, that takes faith. And I know I couldn't have made that choice if God hadn't been teaching me about faith and trust and waiting all summer.
Now I've got my dream apartment, in exactly the right area, close to Becky and Ben and all my friends still at school, a respectable distance from my parents. Now I've got my dream job, with a perfect job description, amazing people and a salary beyond what I ever would have asked for. Miraculous? It could be argued. But in my mind, there's no question that God was at work. I feel he was at work even more in my character growth than in the actual outcomes. Then again, that's usually the way it goes. God is good. THank you to everyone who prayed for me.
Okay, maybe it doesn't sound difficult, relaxing and playing with the family and all, but keep in mind, the whole time I was tirelessly job searching to no avail. I just kept getting more and more discouraged (ask Becky or Ben). I read the book Too Busy Not to Pray by Bill Hybles (strongly recommended), and the book taught me that God is good (duh, but something I need to be reminded of sometimes) and that he desires to give good gifts to his children! The Bible says "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart" (psalm 37:4). It also says, "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (james 1:17). These verses helped me to ask boldly for (what I considered to be) the miraculous: a great apartment and a job I loved with great people that provided for my needs.
Now that sounded to me like a lot to ask. Too much for God to bother with, and why should he bless me with my heart's desire? But as I continued to pray, I realized that, first, I don't deserve any blessings, and, second, that God longs to give good things to those who love him. So I prayed this prayer all summer. But in the meantime, nothing seemed to be happening. Week after week in June, no answer to prayer. During my quiet time I began asking God, why aren't you responding? am I doing something wrong? don't you know how much I need a job and a place to live? Well of course he knows. He knew before I figured it out. And when I read the Bible, I kept getting the same message over and over again: Wait for the Lord. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. (psalm 27:14). Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you (Proverbs 20:22). The Israelites waited 40 YEARS in the desert for the Lord's promised land. Every time I opened my BIble, it seemed, God told me to chill out and trust him. So I tried. It ain't easy! But then I found my dream apartment and it's glorious. Praise God. Then I got a few interviews. Praise God!
Once I was in my apartment, though, I had to buy food, and make rent, and pay the electric bill. And I'll admit it, I doubted if God really wanted to answer my "miracle prayer." Sure, I knew he could, but why would he? I mean, wasn't I asking too much? Then I got a job offer from one of the places I interviewed with, but I felt uneasy about it. Something about the interviewer, the fact that they made me come down twice to reject me both times and then ask me for a third, something about the process...I didn't feel at peace about it. But it was a job, a job that would pay the rent. So I prayed about it and really felt God saying to me, "I have better things for you! Let me bless you!" So I waited. And boy, was it hard. To turn down something sure for something uncertain when you need it so badly, that takes faith. And I know I couldn't have made that choice if God hadn't been teaching me about faith and trust and waiting all summer.
Now I've got my dream apartment, in exactly the right area, close to Becky and Ben and all my friends still at school, a respectable distance from my parents. Now I've got my dream job, with a perfect job description, amazing people and a salary beyond what I ever would have asked for. Miraculous? It could be argued. But in my mind, there's no question that God was at work. I feel he was at work even more in my character growth than in the actual outcomes. Then again, that's usually the way it goes. God is good. THank you to everyone who prayed for me.