grey's - here's to the future/now or never
Yeah. Still pissed. Sleep didn’t do a thing.
Sooo, fair warning, a lot of this is nothing but me ranting about the “marriage.” Because I can’t seem to think of anything else right now, and I’m so incredibly disappointed by it. Not only did MerDer get shortchanged on screen time for the second week in a row, but they got shortchanged on their marriage too. (And I was patient with it last week. I really was. Because I thought for sure they’d have their moment in the finale. But I swear this post-it crap has me feeling all ready to cut a bitch.)
I loved the things they said to each other in that scene, don’t get me wrong. They were very sweet, and it showed how far they’ve come as a couple that they can talk so honestly about avoiding the mistakes from their past. The no running and the no walking out was lovely. As was Meredith when she told him he had to love her even when he hates her. There was something about the way she said it that seemed almost a little shy like a glimpse of that same girl she was who’d “never done this before,” and it had me wanting to hug her. I loved that they promised to take care of each other even when they’re old and smelly and senile, and I especially enjoyed Mer voicing her fears about Alzheimer’s and forgetting Derek. It was heartbreaking to hear them talk about it, but it seems like a very real fear for her to have because early onset IS genetic, and there is a chance that she’ll forget Derek the way her mother forgot her.
So, you know, there was that. And they are happy and in love, and it’s all really great, but writing it down on a post-it and signing their names did not make for anything other than a total cop-out. They want to be together forever. Fantastic. I’ve already known that for a long time. It’s nothing new. I know some people see it differently, but in my mind, signing that marriage license does make their commitment more real than the way they went about it. Maybe not to them on a private, personal level, but on a broader scale, yes, it does. It makes the rest of the world recognize their commitment to each other in a way that a post-it note never can. I mean, let’s say that hypothetically they want to get divorced one day. What are they gonna do? Just rip up their post-it? Because that’s really all they’d have to do. Their commitment to each other is easy to walk away from in a way that a legal marriage isn’t. You want an actual divorce, you have to file papers, get a lawyer, pay all kinds of legal fees. Not that I’m rooting for a divorce story down the line, but Meredith is a character who, from the very beginning of the show, has been shown to have some major, big time commitment issues. We’ve watched her struggle with them, and MerDer suffer because of them, for five seasons now. To have her actually step up and take that risk, to sign her name to a real marriage license that carries with it significant legal weight would have been a huge thing for her and an incredibly powerful moment for me as a viewer in terms of the MerDer relationship. I’m sorry, but the two of them scribbling their names across a post-it note during a spare minute at work just doesn’t cut it for me at all.
Not to mention that you get RIGHTS with a legal marriage that you just don’t get with a post-it note. I mean what if something horrible did happen to one of them? You’d think, with Izzie so sick, they’d realize the value of a legal marriage more than ever. The part where Alex says “Her future is on me,” well, he’s right. Legally, he has the right to make decisions for her that Derek doesn’t for Meredith, no matter how much he waves that post-it note in someone’s face and claims she’s his wife. She isn’t. Not legally. And Meredith is a girl with a tendency to get herself into situations where she’s drowning at the bottom of a bay or holding live, unexploded ammunition in her hands. Derek needs those rights (and vice versa, of course) because right now, people like Thatcher and Lexie actually have more say over what happens to his “wife” in a worst case scenario than he does. And that’s just wrong. I’m also assuming that’s exactly where season six is going, especially since Ellen’s going to need some maternity leave at some point, and what better way than to have Meredith conveniently incapacitated in some horrific way so Ellen can rest and Derek can angst it out with his post-it when he and Thatcher disagree on how to go about saving his “wife’s” life. (And yep, I’m keeping “wife” in quotation marks until they sign an actual license. Also “husband.” And “wedding.” Same goes for “married.” Because I’m just that bitter.)
And the thing is, I didn’t need them married tonight. I would’ve happily waited for the right moment. The post-it note is cute to me only as a placeholder for the real thing. Something to tide them over until they have the time to do it right. And I want to be optimistic and say we’ll get to see them actually get legally married next season, but I really don’t think we will. This is it. They see themselves as married. They called it their wedding, and they told Owen that they had in fact gotten married when he asked about it. Not to mention this handy snippet from the Shonda interview:
Will we still get an official wedding at some point?
RHIMES: I think they feel it is an official wedding.
Ugh. Since they see themselves as married this way, I don’t see them ever doing the ACTUAL MARRIAGE THING. Especially since I’m sure Shonda sees herself as being oh so clever with how nontraditional Mer and Der are. A proposal with no ring! A wedding that goes to another bride! And now, a marriage on a post-it! As a fan, I feel like I’ve just been insulted and slapped in the face. And then maybe had some mud thrown on me too.
I suppose at this point, as a MerDer fan, I’m just supposed to be satisfied that they’re together and happy and committed to each other for the first time. But to spend half a season teasing us with a wedding, not to mention using the idea of a MerDer marriage to promote the show all over the place, and then to give us a scribble on a post-it note as the culmination of it all is crappy storytelling in my opinion. It’s trying way too hard to show how MerDer are quirky and different and don’t do things the regular way. Show, you can still have a marriage that is unique and different and doesn’t involve wedding dresses and long walks down aisles without resorting to a post-it. Because honestly, this reminds me a lot of my own quirky, nontraditional wedding I had way back in kindergarten when a boy gave me one of his Cheerios during snack time and we decided it meant we were married.
Let’s see, other things I hated about this. (Wow. I really do have a lot of the bitter and ragey still left in me this morning.) Soliciting charitable donations in the name of Meredith and Derek’s marriage. Yes, donating to charity is always a good thing, but there’s something that feels very wrong to me about asking fans to do so for a couple they’ve been rooting for FIVE years at this point, and then giving them a sham of a “wedding” on a post-it instead. Because honestly, while their vows to each other were lovely, nothing’s changed between them. It’s just a slightly more elaborate version of what they promised each other in Elevator Love Letter, and I enjoyed the latter a whole lot more. Just rehashing that sort of commitment as their culminating moment for the season was so disappointing to me. Especially after Mer’s beautiful speech to Cristina (which I originally loved) about making time to tell the people in your life that you love them. That moment is pretty much ruined for me now because the reasoning behind their post-it wedding is that THEY HAD NO TIME TO DO A REAL ONE. Ugh. It’s called MAKING time for a reason, Mer. Yeah, their jobs are important to them, and that’s admirable, but their life together should be just as important. I mean, look what’s happened to Bailey and her husband because they don’t take any time together as a couple or a family. Work can’t ALWAYS get in the way of their lives together. They shouldn’t have to squeeze a “marriage” into a spare minute in the locker room before the next surgery. Their life together and their love for each other deserve more recognition than that. And, I’m sure if they’d asked, the Chief would’ve gladly given them a day off work for their own WEDDING. The reasoning here just felt incredibly stupid and contrived to me.
Anyway, now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest (I did say I’d be bitter and full of hate today), let’s see if I can talk about the rest of the eppy like a person who isn’t still fuming. To help balance out the rage, let’s have a theme here!
Things I loved:
-First of all, Meredith voice over! You came back!!! It always feels slightly off to me to have someone else talking over the opening scenes, so to hear her again was just so nice and reassuring. Also, it was such a cute voice over about her home and her friends and her future “husband.” And, you know, naked MerDer curled up together in all their blankets was lovely too.
-PARIS!!!!! Or Alice. Allison. Whatever. I used to watch Gilmore Girls, so she’s Paris to me.
-Izzie showing off Alex’s ass to her patient friends. Hee. It IS quality booty, Paris.
-Bailey pretending to play light sabers with the new surgery thing and even making helpful sound effects. She’s been annoying me a lot lately, but that was just adorable. As for her latest relationship drama, I don’t know. I get that we’re supposed to be on her side and feel that her husband is being unsupportive and wrong in giving her ultimatums, and I agree with that to an extent. But I also feel that we’ve been shown Bailey consistently choosing her job over her family this season, and they deserve some of her too. I’m not going to fault Tucker for occasionally wanting his family to spend time together as a family.
-Meredith and Derek having another work conflict that they successfully kept separate from their personal life. I love how Meredith was so easily able to explain her reasoning to him for convincing Izzie. She has turned into a kick ass communicator, you guys. (I also loved Mer defending Cristina to Derek and Cris’s “I’m gonna leave now…unless you want to apologize.” Hee.) But yeah, this couple. They can argue and disagree and know that it doesn’t do a thing to change their feelings for each other, and that’s a beautiful thing.
-I also was really happy to see Mer telling Cristina that Derek did have a right to be angry with her. Because the way she informed her sick and very scared friend that she was not having the surgery? She kinda crossed a line there big time. I’d normally expect Meredith to be a bit more…neutral, I guess. To answer in a way that was similar to George’s advice. However, she was the one in there with Izzie when they ran the memory test. She was the one who had to see Izzie forget everything - her name, her husband’s name - all of it. And for Mer, the memory loss stuff hits especially close to home, so she gets a pass from me tonight.
-There was way too much Callie/AZ stuff for my taste tonight, but I did love the moment where Arizona tries to yell at the Chief and starts to cry. Because, um, I do that too? When I get really angry and just want to yell, I usually start to cry and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It’s incredibly frustrating and kind of ruins the whole I’M ANGRY HERE vibe. So, AZ doing the same thing made me very, very happy. Also, she’s just all kinds of adorable with her pretty, pretty curls and trying to lure Bailey back to peds with the joy. Because, cute kids. Who can resist cute kids? (Future kindergarten teacher here, so yeah. Cute kids get me every time.)
-The “What if it was Meredith?” scene between Alex and Derek was deliciously angsty. Derek’s face went straight to devastated the moment Alex asked him that because this is a man with very clear memories of dead Meredith. And to have to think about losing her again… Oh, poor Der. Break my heart. I loved that he answered Alex though instead of sticking to his doctorly brush off, and that Alex went to him for advice. After Izzie, Meredith is the one Alex is closest to, so, putting Derek’s medical expertise aside for a moment, it just made a lot of emotional sense for Alex to seek him out. To seek out the man who loves Meredith. (Plus, you know, the two of them interacting on my TV screen is a whole world of pretty.) Although, Alex? I do believe Derek’s precise words were “I’d ASK her to have the surgery.” Not “I’d order her to have it with lots and lots of rage.” But whatever. Minor technicality.
-Minimal Mark/Lexie. Maybe Chyler Leigh can just remain perpetually nine months pregnant for the rest of the show? Either that or they can use this buying a house drama to break the couple up. Because I’m not enjoying Mark as a woman. Not at all. I am enjoying Derek giving him crap for his failed move in with me speech though. That was priceless.
-The Izzie/George moment where he gave her advice had me smiling. It was so sweetly reminiscent of the BFFs they used to be, and I loved getting a final glimpse of that dynamic. Also, I really appreciated the advice he gave her. She was getting pushed and pulled in so many directions by all the differing opinions, and he just handled it really, really well.
-“Let’s go to City Hall tomorrow. I don’t want to spend another day not married to you.” Oh, Mer. That was perfect. Especially following her heartbreaking confession to him of her Alzheimer’s fears. However, it makes the post-it wedding even harder for me to swallow. One day, she’s dying to legally be married to him already, and then the next, she’s satisfied by a commitment ceremony on a post-it?? Ugh. Give me a moment here to reel in all my rage again.
-Okay, another thing I liked! That Owen and Cristina scene on the bridge. I swear, I actually felt a brief surge of shippy feelings for them. (Which get utterly destroyed by the end of the episode, but that’s for later.) Just…they were so cute. With the kissing and Owen’s giddy, almost boyish excitement over sleeping the whole night without nightmares. And that it meant he could be a better man for her. And maybe with her. Such a wonderful moment. I really enjoyed seeing some lightness from them because all their emo angst has been dragging me down, but this! This was perfect!
-ALEX KAREV. Oh, Alex. I love you lots and lots and lots. He broke my heart more than anyone else tonight. His devastation over Izzie signing a DNR had me teary eyed. Especially when he threatened to turn all Izzie crazy himself and start cutting LVADS. And then the sight of him bent over her bedside, just chanting over and over to himself “Wake up, wake up, wake up.” I love how much he loves her. How determined he was to get her to remember things. His notes around her bed cracked me up. Especially the “Your memory sucks” one. Hee. (Maybe MerDer could add theirs to her collection?) But more than anything else, I loved the scene where he snapped and yelled at her about how much all of this sucked, and how they only got married because she was about to die so maybe he should smother her with a pillow. Because what he’s going through IS incredibly hard. Not as much as what Izzie herself is facing, but still so very difficult. He thought was in for a lifetime with a woman who has the memory of a carrot. (Hee. Oh, Izzie.) And that she was stuck with the sort of non-life she’d begged him to keep her from living. Not to mention that they really did leap into their marriage because she was dying. So yeah. I love that he got that off his chest and that it was the first thing she finally was able to keep from forgetting because, if she does live, that’s something I’d love to see them deal with next season. What do they do about the fact that they got married before they were ready because they thought she was dying, but now she’s not? It could be a very good, realistic struggle for them.
-The planning of the army George intervention was good too. Nice and amusing. I especially loved the Bailey roundup where she gave all her babies their jobs. Mer to play the concerned friend, Cristina to use logic, Izzie to stare at him with her cancery eyes, and, if all else fails, Alex to kick his ass a little so he realizes he isn’t army material. Hee. It reminded me lots of Captain Planet. Only instead of earth! wind! fire! water! heart! we got concern! logic! cancer! smackdown! (Please tell me I’m not the only one who grew up watching that show?) Plotting Bailey is pretty much the best thing ever.
-Meredith and Cristina were wonderful together too. They’re still the close as sisters best friends they’ve always been, but it feels they’ve found a much healthier, MUCH less codependent version of that friendship, and I’m all for the new dynamic. I loved seeing Cristina have genuine excitement for Mer over the marriage, and the rooting around in her pockets for old, new, borrowed and blue was wonderful. (Or at least it was until that became the source of the post-it wedding. Hate, hate, hate.) And then Mer pointing out that, if they were George and Owen, this was when they’d hug. LOLOLOLOL GOOD STUFF. Also good? “I love you, Cristina Yang” and “I’m gonna hug you now.” Oh these two. They make me smile.
-007. Seriously. Best moment of the night right there. I knew it was George from the moment he was first brought in because I’m a bit of a spoiler whore, so I was on the lookout for conveniently disfigured patients from the get go, but that moment where Meredith realized it still felt like a punch to the gut. Her little scream of oh god was heartbreaking. And the fact that he spelled out 007 in her hand freaking killed me. I had imagined he was trying to spell his name, but he had so much trouble just with those three numbers that I don’t think he could’ve made it through all the letters in George. Plus, just…007. Way to gut me like a fish, Show. Because 007 is from the pilot, way back when he was the sweet, fumbling version of George who botched his first attempt at surgery, had a ridiculously overblown crush on Meredith, and was Izzie’s adorable BFF. That guy. Not the jerk he became after the sex with Meredith and the cheating on Callie. Not the shadow of a character he’s been all season. But GEORGE. The sweet, kindhearted guy we first got to know, and having that reminder of who he used to be made his accident cut like a knife. If it hadn’t been for him writing 007, I really wouldn’t have cared one way or the other, but as it is, I felt for him so much. Meredith slowly saying 007 outloud as the realization crossed her face gave me chills.
-“You pulled out my icicle.” LOLOLOL. Oh, Cristina. I think it was supposed to be a serious statement referencing their first interaction and all, but that phrase just sounds so bizarre I had to laugh. A lot.
-Derek let Mer drill the burr hole in George’s skull! I freaking LOVE kick ass neuro Mer. And she kicked ass so much in that moment. Seriously, can she just go ahead and declare neuro as her specialty already? Because I’m not gonna by her as any other kind of surgeon at this point.
-The sawing off of the perfectly healthy leg. Because, the whirring sound of the saw, and the splattering blood, and what can I say, I’m a sucker for the gory medical stuff. I was equally thrilled by all the blood that came gushing out of George’s skull thanks to Mer and her drill.
-Elevator George and Izzie! She will never not look gorgeous in that dress, and George actually looked attractive for the first time ever in his army uniform. And I was so, so glad she didn’t see freaking Denny when those doors slid open. Although, speculation time, George was already out of the elevator and she was still in it. I’m guessing this means he’s dead-dead, and she’s got a chance to return to life. I suppose it could work the other way around, with her already on the elevator ascending to the heavenly hospital and George yet to get on and commit to dying. But, um, I really think George is gone next season while Izzie’s probably going to come back. Because this really is Stevens’ Anatomy after all. I don’t particularly mind the dying cliffhanger either. I was expecting it, and honestly, at this point I’m feeling very whatever about losing these characters. George has been all but gone this season already. And Izzie, I thought I was going to be gutted over her possible death since I love her and Alex together so much, but, um…I’m a little bitter? Because even I’m starting to get fed up with how much screen time is devoted to her every episode, and maybe if she goes, Ellen can start to get some lead actress quality screen time again. So yeah. I’m a little surprised at how calm I am about the possible deaths. Blame the post-it. It has me in a state of bitter ambivalence towards pretty much all of Grey’s at this point.
Which leads us to the opposite of the things I loved. The things I hated!
-That fucking post-it
-New, emo Bailey. If I have to see her have one more tearful breakdown, I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s starting to feel like she can’t encounter a single problem without crying about it, and it makes me miss old school Bailey so much. I know that the end of her marriage is huge and scary, but all the power of that moment was lost for me because we’ve already had so many emo Bailey festivals of sobbing and shaking this season that it now feels routine at best.
-Izzie and Denny hanging out on the beach together. I really didn’t need to see any more of that guy ever again. And I was bored to tears during that long talk they had about future babies and the wedding ring and all that crap. But my Denny tolerance is at an all time low after a season of ghost sex and a post-it.
-That scene in the boiler room between Cris and Owen. It felt way too over the top for me with the angst and the melodrama, and a lot of the dialogue had me cringing. “I can’t breathe without you” was especially bad. Way too much cheese for me. Also, it sent my mind straight to exam room Mer’s “I can’t breathe with you looking at me like that,” and the original was so much better. I want the Cris and Owen from the adorable no nightmares moment back. I find them so much more appealing than their other incarnation as tortured lovers.
-Also, I’m confused. Is Owen actually planning to return to Iraq next season? Because that’s what I thought at first, but is that what she was saying yes to? Clearly, my mind is boggled because I wasn’t quite following that.
-Post-it
-Yet another episode with nowhere near enough MerDer. A lot of why I’d felt so okay with the way MerDer were handled in the 100th episode was because I was certain that they would have their fair share of story in the finale. But, of course, they were shortchanged yet again, and there went the very last of my patience. Good job, Show. You’ve actually got me kinda rooting for Izzie to die despite my A/I tendencies on the off chance that it’ll lead to Meredith and Derek getting some actual screen time together again.
-This new Mark. I do not like. Show, please take him away and try again. He’s no longer attractive to me thanks to his transformation into Lexie’s lapdog.
-Everyone completely ignoring Izzie's DNR at the end. I think that they were technically right in trying to revive her because Izzie's fear was living as a vegetable. She had her memory back when she coded, and I think she would want to fight for her life in that case. If they'd decided to ignore the DNR on those grounds, I would've been happy to go with it. But the way they shot the scene felt a lot like they were saying patient's wishes? what patient's wishes? And while I understand a reaction like that coming from Alex, the Chief shouldn't have just gone with it because it was what Alex wanted. It's supposed to be about what Izzie wants, and not addressing that was yet another reminder for me of the Chief's lack of professionalism.
-Post-it
-Post-it
-Post-it
And yeah. All in all, I’m feeling kinda bummed out and insulted thanks to the way they handled MerDer. If it weren’t for that, I think I would’ve been fairly pleased with the finale.
Anyway, looking ahead to the fall and the “big reverberations” Shonda says are coming thanks to the post-it “wedding,” the only thing I can think of is some sort of medical situation like I mentioned earlier. Although I’m really hoping that the big reverberations are their friends finding out about the post-it wedding and giving them all kinds of crap for it.
I’m also feeling a little suspicious thanks to last night’s many, many references to the possibility of Mer getting Alzheimer’s, but I’m hoping that’s just because Izzie’s memory loss was triggering a lot of fears for Meredith and not because they’re planning to go there. I’m skeptical that they actually would ever pull something like that since you can’t exactly have Grey’s Anatomy with an Alzheimery Meredith Grey, but, I don’t know…are Alzheimer’s scares possible? Like Meredith has a day where she’s really distracted and forgetful, and promptly freaks out that she must have Alzheimer’s? IDK. I hope not, but I could see Shonda just eating up all the potential angst in that situation, with Derek wanting her to get tested for the gene or what have you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they never truly go there though, because if anything gets me to stop watching Grey’s, it’d be Meredith forgetting who Derek is.
So, in conclusion, finale, I want to love you. But thanks to that freaking post-it, I just can't.
Sooo, fair warning, a lot of this is nothing but me ranting about the “marriage.” Because I can’t seem to think of anything else right now, and I’m so incredibly disappointed by it. Not only did MerDer get shortchanged on screen time for the second week in a row, but they got shortchanged on their marriage too. (And I was patient with it last week. I really was. Because I thought for sure they’d have their moment in the finale. But I swear this post-it crap has me feeling all ready to cut a bitch.)
I loved the things they said to each other in that scene, don’t get me wrong. They were very sweet, and it showed how far they’ve come as a couple that they can talk so honestly about avoiding the mistakes from their past. The no running and the no walking out was lovely. As was Meredith when she told him he had to love her even when he hates her. There was something about the way she said it that seemed almost a little shy like a glimpse of that same girl she was who’d “never done this before,” and it had me wanting to hug her. I loved that they promised to take care of each other even when they’re old and smelly and senile, and I especially enjoyed Mer voicing her fears about Alzheimer’s and forgetting Derek. It was heartbreaking to hear them talk about it, but it seems like a very real fear for her to have because early onset IS genetic, and there is a chance that she’ll forget Derek the way her mother forgot her.
So, you know, there was that. And they are happy and in love, and it’s all really great, but writing it down on a post-it and signing their names did not make for anything other than a total cop-out. They want to be together forever. Fantastic. I’ve already known that for a long time. It’s nothing new. I know some people see it differently, but in my mind, signing that marriage license does make their commitment more real than the way they went about it. Maybe not to them on a private, personal level, but on a broader scale, yes, it does. It makes the rest of the world recognize their commitment to each other in a way that a post-it note never can. I mean, let’s say that hypothetically they want to get divorced one day. What are they gonna do? Just rip up their post-it? Because that’s really all they’d have to do. Their commitment to each other is easy to walk away from in a way that a legal marriage isn’t. You want an actual divorce, you have to file papers, get a lawyer, pay all kinds of legal fees. Not that I’m rooting for a divorce story down the line, but Meredith is a character who, from the very beginning of the show, has been shown to have some major, big time commitment issues. We’ve watched her struggle with them, and MerDer suffer because of them, for five seasons now. To have her actually step up and take that risk, to sign her name to a real marriage license that carries with it significant legal weight would have been a huge thing for her and an incredibly powerful moment for me as a viewer in terms of the MerDer relationship. I’m sorry, but the two of them scribbling their names across a post-it note during a spare minute at work just doesn’t cut it for me at all.
Not to mention that you get RIGHTS with a legal marriage that you just don’t get with a post-it note. I mean what if something horrible did happen to one of them? You’d think, with Izzie so sick, they’d realize the value of a legal marriage more than ever. The part where Alex says “Her future is on me,” well, he’s right. Legally, he has the right to make decisions for her that Derek doesn’t for Meredith, no matter how much he waves that post-it note in someone’s face and claims she’s his wife. She isn’t. Not legally. And Meredith is a girl with a tendency to get herself into situations where she’s drowning at the bottom of a bay or holding live, unexploded ammunition in her hands. Derek needs those rights (and vice versa, of course) because right now, people like Thatcher and Lexie actually have more say over what happens to his “wife” in a worst case scenario than he does. And that’s just wrong. I’m also assuming that’s exactly where season six is going, especially since Ellen’s going to need some maternity leave at some point, and what better way than to have Meredith conveniently incapacitated in some horrific way so Ellen can rest and Derek can angst it out with his post-it when he and Thatcher disagree on how to go about saving his “wife’s” life. (And yep, I’m keeping “wife” in quotation marks until they sign an actual license. Also “husband.” And “wedding.” Same goes for “married.” Because I’m just that bitter.)
And the thing is, I didn’t need them married tonight. I would’ve happily waited for the right moment. The post-it note is cute to me only as a placeholder for the real thing. Something to tide them over until they have the time to do it right. And I want to be optimistic and say we’ll get to see them actually get legally married next season, but I really don’t think we will. This is it. They see themselves as married. They called it their wedding, and they told Owen that they had in fact gotten married when he asked about it. Not to mention this handy snippet from the Shonda interview:
Will we still get an official wedding at some point?
RHIMES: I think they feel it is an official wedding.
Ugh. Since they see themselves as married this way, I don’t see them ever doing the ACTUAL MARRIAGE THING. Especially since I’m sure Shonda sees herself as being oh so clever with how nontraditional Mer and Der are. A proposal with no ring! A wedding that goes to another bride! And now, a marriage on a post-it! As a fan, I feel like I’ve just been insulted and slapped in the face. And then maybe had some mud thrown on me too.
I suppose at this point, as a MerDer fan, I’m just supposed to be satisfied that they’re together and happy and committed to each other for the first time. But to spend half a season teasing us with a wedding, not to mention using the idea of a MerDer marriage to promote the show all over the place, and then to give us a scribble on a post-it note as the culmination of it all is crappy storytelling in my opinion. It’s trying way too hard to show how MerDer are quirky and different and don’t do things the regular way. Show, you can still have a marriage that is unique and different and doesn’t involve wedding dresses and long walks down aisles without resorting to a post-it. Because honestly, this reminds me a lot of my own quirky, nontraditional wedding I had way back in kindergarten when a boy gave me one of his Cheerios during snack time and we decided it meant we were married.
Let’s see, other things I hated about this. (Wow. I really do have a lot of the bitter and ragey still left in me this morning.) Soliciting charitable donations in the name of Meredith and Derek’s marriage. Yes, donating to charity is always a good thing, but there’s something that feels very wrong to me about asking fans to do so for a couple they’ve been rooting for FIVE years at this point, and then giving them a sham of a “wedding” on a post-it instead. Because honestly, while their vows to each other were lovely, nothing’s changed between them. It’s just a slightly more elaborate version of what they promised each other in Elevator Love Letter, and I enjoyed the latter a whole lot more. Just rehashing that sort of commitment as their culminating moment for the season was so disappointing to me. Especially after Mer’s beautiful speech to Cristina (which I originally loved) about making time to tell the people in your life that you love them. That moment is pretty much ruined for me now because the reasoning behind their post-it wedding is that THEY HAD NO TIME TO DO A REAL ONE. Ugh. It’s called MAKING time for a reason, Mer. Yeah, their jobs are important to them, and that’s admirable, but their life together should be just as important. I mean, look what’s happened to Bailey and her husband because they don’t take any time together as a couple or a family. Work can’t ALWAYS get in the way of their lives together. They shouldn’t have to squeeze a “marriage” into a spare minute in the locker room before the next surgery. Their life together and their love for each other deserve more recognition than that. And, I’m sure if they’d asked, the Chief would’ve gladly given them a day off work for their own WEDDING. The reasoning here just felt incredibly stupid and contrived to me.
Anyway, now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest (I did say I’d be bitter and full of hate today), let’s see if I can talk about the rest of the eppy like a person who isn’t still fuming. To help balance out the rage, let’s have a theme here!
Things I loved:
-First of all, Meredith voice over! You came back!!! It always feels slightly off to me to have someone else talking over the opening scenes, so to hear her again was just so nice and reassuring. Also, it was such a cute voice over about her home and her friends and her future “husband.” And, you know, naked MerDer curled up together in all their blankets was lovely too.
-PARIS!!!!! Or Alice. Allison. Whatever. I used to watch Gilmore Girls, so she’s Paris to me.
-Izzie showing off Alex’s ass to her patient friends. Hee. It IS quality booty, Paris.
-Bailey pretending to play light sabers with the new surgery thing and even making helpful sound effects. She’s been annoying me a lot lately, but that was just adorable. As for her latest relationship drama, I don’t know. I get that we’re supposed to be on her side and feel that her husband is being unsupportive and wrong in giving her ultimatums, and I agree with that to an extent. But I also feel that we’ve been shown Bailey consistently choosing her job over her family this season, and they deserve some of her too. I’m not going to fault Tucker for occasionally wanting his family to spend time together as a family.
-Meredith and Derek having another work conflict that they successfully kept separate from their personal life. I love how Meredith was so easily able to explain her reasoning to him for convincing Izzie. She has turned into a kick ass communicator, you guys. (I also loved Mer defending Cristina to Derek and Cris’s “I’m gonna leave now…unless you want to apologize.” Hee.) But yeah, this couple. They can argue and disagree and know that it doesn’t do a thing to change their feelings for each other, and that’s a beautiful thing.
-I also was really happy to see Mer telling Cristina that Derek did have a right to be angry with her. Because the way she informed her sick and very scared friend that she was not having the surgery? She kinda crossed a line there big time. I’d normally expect Meredith to be a bit more…neutral, I guess. To answer in a way that was similar to George’s advice. However, she was the one in there with Izzie when they ran the memory test. She was the one who had to see Izzie forget everything - her name, her husband’s name - all of it. And for Mer, the memory loss stuff hits especially close to home, so she gets a pass from me tonight.
-There was way too much Callie/AZ stuff for my taste tonight, but I did love the moment where Arizona tries to yell at the Chief and starts to cry. Because, um, I do that too? When I get really angry and just want to yell, I usually start to cry and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It’s incredibly frustrating and kind of ruins the whole I’M ANGRY HERE vibe. So, AZ doing the same thing made me very, very happy. Also, she’s just all kinds of adorable with her pretty, pretty curls and trying to lure Bailey back to peds with the joy. Because, cute kids. Who can resist cute kids? (Future kindergarten teacher here, so yeah. Cute kids get me every time.)
-The “What if it was Meredith?” scene between Alex and Derek was deliciously angsty. Derek’s face went straight to devastated the moment Alex asked him that because this is a man with very clear memories of dead Meredith. And to have to think about losing her again… Oh, poor Der. Break my heart. I loved that he answered Alex though instead of sticking to his doctorly brush off, and that Alex went to him for advice. After Izzie, Meredith is the one Alex is closest to, so, putting Derek’s medical expertise aside for a moment, it just made a lot of emotional sense for Alex to seek him out. To seek out the man who loves Meredith. (Plus, you know, the two of them interacting on my TV screen is a whole world of pretty.) Although, Alex? I do believe Derek’s precise words were “I’d ASK her to have the surgery.” Not “I’d order her to have it with lots and lots of rage.” But whatever. Minor technicality.
-Minimal Mark/Lexie. Maybe Chyler Leigh can just remain perpetually nine months pregnant for the rest of the show? Either that or they can use this buying a house drama to break the couple up. Because I’m not enjoying Mark as a woman. Not at all. I am enjoying Derek giving him crap for his failed move in with me speech though. That was priceless.
-The Izzie/George moment where he gave her advice had me smiling. It was so sweetly reminiscent of the BFFs they used to be, and I loved getting a final glimpse of that dynamic. Also, I really appreciated the advice he gave her. She was getting pushed and pulled in so many directions by all the differing opinions, and he just handled it really, really well.
-“Let’s go to City Hall tomorrow. I don’t want to spend another day not married to you.” Oh, Mer. That was perfect. Especially following her heartbreaking confession to him of her Alzheimer’s fears. However, it makes the post-it wedding even harder for me to swallow. One day, she’s dying to legally be married to him already, and then the next, she’s satisfied by a commitment ceremony on a post-it?? Ugh. Give me a moment here to reel in all my rage again.
-Okay, another thing I liked! That Owen and Cristina scene on the bridge. I swear, I actually felt a brief surge of shippy feelings for them. (Which get utterly destroyed by the end of the episode, but that’s for later.) Just…they were so cute. With the kissing and Owen’s giddy, almost boyish excitement over sleeping the whole night without nightmares. And that it meant he could be a better man for her. And maybe with her. Such a wonderful moment. I really enjoyed seeing some lightness from them because all their emo angst has been dragging me down, but this! This was perfect!
-ALEX KAREV. Oh, Alex. I love you lots and lots and lots. He broke my heart more than anyone else tonight. His devastation over Izzie signing a DNR had me teary eyed. Especially when he threatened to turn all Izzie crazy himself and start cutting LVADS. And then the sight of him bent over her bedside, just chanting over and over to himself “Wake up, wake up, wake up.” I love how much he loves her. How determined he was to get her to remember things. His notes around her bed cracked me up. Especially the “Your memory sucks” one. Hee. (Maybe MerDer could add theirs to her collection?) But more than anything else, I loved the scene where he snapped and yelled at her about how much all of this sucked, and how they only got married because she was about to die so maybe he should smother her with a pillow. Because what he’s going through IS incredibly hard. Not as much as what Izzie herself is facing, but still so very difficult. He thought was in for a lifetime with a woman who has the memory of a carrot. (Hee. Oh, Izzie.) And that she was stuck with the sort of non-life she’d begged him to keep her from living. Not to mention that they really did leap into their marriage because she was dying. So yeah. I love that he got that off his chest and that it was the first thing she finally was able to keep from forgetting because, if she does live, that’s something I’d love to see them deal with next season. What do they do about the fact that they got married before they were ready because they thought she was dying, but now she’s not? It could be a very good, realistic struggle for them.
-The planning of the army George intervention was good too. Nice and amusing. I especially loved the Bailey roundup where she gave all her babies their jobs. Mer to play the concerned friend, Cristina to use logic, Izzie to stare at him with her cancery eyes, and, if all else fails, Alex to kick his ass a little so he realizes he isn’t army material. Hee. It reminded me lots of Captain Planet. Only instead of earth! wind! fire! water! heart! we got concern! logic! cancer! smackdown! (Please tell me I’m not the only one who grew up watching that show?) Plotting Bailey is pretty much the best thing ever.
-Meredith and Cristina were wonderful together too. They’re still the close as sisters best friends they’ve always been, but it feels they’ve found a much healthier, MUCH less codependent version of that friendship, and I’m all for the new dynamic. I loved seeing Cristina have genuine excitement for Mer over the marriage, and the rooting around in her pockets for old, new, borrowed and blue was wonderful. (Or at least it was until that became the source of the post-it wedding. Hate, hate, hate.) And then Mer pointing out that, if they were George and Owen, this was when they’d hug. LOLOLOLOL GOOD STUFF. Also good? “I love you, Cristina Yang” and “I’m gonna hug you now.” Oh these two. They make me smile.
-007. Seriously. Best moment of the night right there. I knew it was George from the moment he was first brought in because I’m a bit of a spoiler whore, so I was on the lookout for conveniently disfigured patients from the get go, but that moment where Meredith realized it still felt like a punch to the gut. Her little scream of oh god was heartbreaking. And the fact that he spelled out 007 in her hand freaking killed me. I had imagined he was trying to spell his name, but he had so much trouble just with those three numbers that I don’t think he could’ve made it through all the letters in George. Plus, just…007. Way to gut me like a fish, Show. Because 007 is from the pilot, way back when he was the sweet, fumbling version of George who botched his first attempt at surgery, had a ridiculously overblown crush on Meredith, and was Izzie’s adorable BFF. That guy. Not the jerk he became after the sex with Meredith and the cheating on Callie. Not the shadow of a character he’s been all season. But GEORGE. The sweet, kindhearted guy we first got to know, and having that reminder of who he used to be made his accident cut like a knife. If it hadn’t been for him writing 007, I really wouldn’t have cared one way or the other, but as it is, I felt for him so much. Meredith slowly saying 007 outloud as the realization crossed her face gave me chills.
-“You pulled out my icicle.” LOLOLOL. Oh, Cristina. I think it was supposed to be a serious statement referencing their first interaction and all, but that phrase just sounds so bizarre I had to laugh. A lot.
-Derek let Mer drill the burr hole in George’s skull! I freaking LOVE kick ass neuro Mer. And she kicked ass so much in that moment. Seriously, can she just go ahead and declare neuro as her specialty already? Because I’m not gonna by her as any other kind of surgeon at this point.
-The sawing off of the perfectly healthy leg. Because, the whirring sound of the saw, and the splattering blood, and what can I say, I’m a sucker for the gory medical stuff. I was equally thrilled by all the blood that came gushing out of George’s skull thanks to Mer and her drill.
-Elevator George and Izzie! She will never not look gorgeous in that dress, and George actually looked attractive for the first time ever in his army uniform. And I was so, so glad she didn’t see freaking Denny when those doors slid open. Although, speculation time, George was already out of the elevator and she was still in it. I’m guessing this means he’s dead-dead, and she’s got a chance to return to life. I suppose it could work the other way around, with her already on the elevator ascending to the heavenly hospital and George yet to get on and commit to dying. But, um, I really think George is gone next season while Izzie’s probably going to come back. Because this really is Stevens’ Anatomy after all. I don’t particularly mind the dying cliffhanger either. I was expecting it, and honestly, at this point I’m feeling very whatever about losing these characters. George has been all but gone this season already. And Izzie, I thought I was going to be gutted over her possible death since I love her and Alex together so much, but, um…I’m a little bitter? Because even I’m starting to get fed up with how much screen time is devoted to her every episode, and maybe if she goes, Ellen can start to get some lead actress quality screen time again. So yeah. I’m a little surprised at how calm I am about the possible deaths. Blame the post-it. It has me in a state of bitter ambivalence towards pretty much all of Grey’s at this point.
Which leads us to the opposite of the things I loved. The things I hated!
-That fucking post-it
-New, emo Bailey. If I have to see her have one more tearful breakdown, I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s starting to feel like she can’t encounter a single problem without crying about it, and it makes me miss old school Bailey so much. I know that the end of her marriage is huge and scary, but all the power of that moment was lost for me because we’ve already had so many emo Bailey festivals of sobbing and shaking this season that it now feels routine at best.
-Izzie and Denny hanging out on the beach together. I really didn’t need to see any more of that guy ever again. And I was bored to tears during that long talk they had about future babies and the wedding ring and all that crap. But my Denny tolerance is at an all time low after a season of ghost sex and a post-it.
-That scene in the boiler room between Cris and Owen. It felt way too over the top for me with the angst and the melodrama, and a lot of the dialogue had me cringing. “I can’t breathe without you” was especially bad. Way too much cheese for me. Also, it sent my mind straight to exam room Mer’s “I can’t breathe with you looking at me like that,” and the original was so much better. I want the Cris and Owen from the adorable no nightmares moment back. I find them so much more appealing than their other incarnation as tortured lovers.
-Also, I’m confused. Is Owen actually planning to return to Iraq next season? Because that’s what I thought at first, but is that what she was saying yes to? Clearly, my mind is boggled because I wasn’t quite following that.
-Post-it
-Yet another episode with nowhere near enough MerDer. A lot of why I’d felt so okay with the way MerDer were handled in the 100th episode was because I was certain that they would have their fair share of story in the finale. But, of course, they were shortchanged yet again, and there went the very last of my patience. Good job, Show. You’ve actually got me kinda rooting for Izzie to die despite my A/I tendencies on the off chance that it’ll lead to Meredith and Derek getting some actual screen time together again.
-This new Mark. I do not like. Show, please take him away and try again. He’s no longer attractive to me thanks to his transformation into Lexie’s lapdog.
-Everyone completely ignoring Izzie's DNR at the end. I think that they were technically right in trying to revive her because Izzie's fear was living as a vegetable. She had her memory back when she coded, and I think she would want to fight for her life in that case. If they'd decided to ignore the DNR on those grounds, I would've been happy to go with it. But the way they shot the scene felt a lot like they were saying patient's wishes? what patient's wishes? And while I understand a reaction like that coming from Alex, the Chief shouldn't have just gone with it because it was what Alex wanted. It's supposed to be about what Izzie wants, and not addressing that was yet another reminder for me of the Chief's lack of professionalism.
-Post-it
-Post-it
-Post-it
And yeah. All in all, I’m feeling kinda bummed out and insulted thanks to the way they handled MerDer. If it weren’t for that, I think I would’ve been fairly pleased with the finale.
Anyway, looking ahead to the fall and the “big reverberations” Shonda says are coming thanks to the post-it “wedding,” the only thing I can think of is some sort of medical situation like I mentioned earlier. Although I’m really hoping that the big reverberations are their friends finding out about the post-it wedding and giving them all kinds of crap for it.
I’m also feeling a little suspicious thanks to last night’s many, many references to the possibility of Mer getting Alzheimer’s, but I’m hoping that’s just because Izzie’s memory loss was triggering a lot of fears for Meredith and not because they’re planning to go there. I’m skeptical that they actually would ever pull something like that since you can’t exactly have Grey’s Anatomy with an Alzheimery Meredith Grey, but, I don’t know…are Alzheimer’s scares possible? Like Meredith has a day where she’s really distracted and forgetful, and promptly freaks out that she must have Alzheimer’s? IDK. I hope not, but I could see Shonda just eating up all the potential angst in that situation, with Derek wanting her to get tested for the gene or what have you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they never truly go there though, because if anything gets me to stop watching Grey’s, it’d be Meredith forgetting who Derek is.
So, in conclusion, finale, I want to love you. But thanks to that freaking post-it, I just can't.