love in the time of science - chapter seven

[morgenwrites]

Happy New Year!  I always love how January 1st feels.  Just so fresh and clean somehow.  I hope everyone had a good New Year's Eve.  I had to work until 1am, so I missed out on all the wild celebrating this year.  But, on the brightside, my job is very, very low-key, so I was able to get the latest chapter of LitToS finished.  And here it is, in

Comments

L

[anonymous]

{He shook his head as if to say her worries were silly, inconsequential little things, he’d gladly be tired and crabby with her. She thought maybe he really would, and that was strange too

Re: L

[morgenwrites]

Thank you so much! :D I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter.

I'm glad Mer's confusion seemed believable. I don't think she's done anything this big before in terms of sharing her past. Talking about it with Dr. Wyatt is a whole different thing IMO because she doesn't love Dr. Wyatt. She doesn't have any of the deep personal history there that she has with Derek, and Wyatt reacted to all of it like a professional while Derek is reacting very much like the worried boyfriend that he is. And yeah, that's a much more messy way to react.

And Mer is not someone who feels when she can help itOh, I completely agree. In a way she seems to have this fear of feeling things and runs from having to really experience what they mean. Sometimes she runs to work, sometimes to tequila, sometimes into the bay, but she's always fleeing the FEELINGS. It's odd too because I find her to be the most empathetic of the characters. It's not like she doesn't comprehend emotions/feelings because she's wonderful at dealing with them in other people

Re: L

[anonymous]

{And yep, you're right, the clinical trial definitely has a role to play in the story and in their relationship

Re: L

[morgenwrites]

Hee. Yeah, I guess it was vague. :D

I'm glad the previous Derek POV chapters helped to combat the assyness. Because yeah, the whole Knight in Shining Scrubs complex of his is not his most flattering look. Not that it isn't wonderful and lovely that he loves her and wants to protect her, because it is, but... He takes it too far, and he's already the one with the upper hand in the balance of power thing as her boss. It's like sometimes he forgets that she's a grown-up too. She's earned the right to make her own choices even if he doesn't agree with them.

But yeah, the last time something like this happened, she drowned. Voluntarily. It's really fear that's driving him and yeah, a definite desire to not commit the same mistakes he did last time when he knew she was pulling away and messed up over her mother, but didn't do anything about it.

And yes, happy week until Grey's! I have to go back to class next week, and Meredith and Derek dancing it out is the one bright spot I'm looking forward to.

[liljan98]

You did it again! Left me speechless :) This was such an extraordinary chapter, I can't really put in to words how much it touched me. Your writing is so incredibly awesome. I felt like I experienced all these emotions myself and it was painful, but written so perfectly. I can completely understand both sides in this: I probably would be terrified as well, to have my boyfriend seen me break down completely and to have to deal with him the next morning. But I also understand Derek's attempts to keep her home and safe, because he must remember the last time (lucid) Ellis did upset Mer and how Mer reacted to that one. This is all so heartbreaking. Great, great update!

[morgenwrites]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I'm honored you enjoyed the chapter so much. :)

And I'm so glad that both sides were clear for you in this chapter. I was really worried that it'd come off imbalanced, and that Derek might come off looking like an ass especially since this isn't from his POV. But he really is just very worried about her. It was incredibly hard and scary for him to see Mer break down like that, and now he is just trying to keep her safe. And yeah, he is painfully aware of what happened the last time Mer went to work after being so upset by Ellis. Seeing Mer like that is dragging his feelings about her near death to the surface again.

Thanks so much for reading! :)

[liljan98]

I read this chapter again before I went to bed and tried to leave another comment via my cellphone (because the computer was already turned off and the internet connection was down anyway), which obviously didn't work. Too bad. But reading it for the second time it just hit me, that Derek went through exactly that moment with Meredith once before and that's what probably scares him the most. He tried to make her stay home from work after he found her in the bathtub. He failed to do so and she went to work and look how that turned out. No wonder he is so so scared. I'm sure you had that in mind too, but I had to read it twice to see the connection. Poor Derek. And of course poor Meredith who is so lost in all this uncharted relationship territory.

[morgenwrites]

Ooh, I'm glad you noticed the similarities! I was trying to make what happened this chapter echo what happened before Meredith drowned enough to get Derek thinking about that morning. Because yeah, this is supposed to be reminding him of that day first with the shower vs the thing in the bathtub and then with her weirdness afterward/wanting to just go to work. Derek is very aware of not wanting to make the same mistake twice in terms of how he deals with Mer, and that's behind a lot of all his insistence that she stay home. So yay! I'm excited you saw it. :D

[anonymous]

It was very realistic, all the awkward uncertainty. Meredith has probably never allowed anyone to see her that vulnerable (let alone Derek) and she wouldn't know how she's supposed to act. Hell, I wouldn't either. This chappie had a lot of parallels to the 3x15 eppie which I think was brilliant. Especially for Derek. I think in a lot of ways, this was just like that in his mind and I think one of the reasons he was so reluctant to let her go to work was because he was afraid something bad would happen--he'd lose her again. Via drowning or some other disaster. Because you know Seattle is full of them (Ferry boat crashes, freak blizzards, Code Blacks, killer icicles, etc). And, I don't think Derek's buying the whole "she didn't really want to die" thing. It's much less complicated in his understanding, or at least the convaluted reasoning that Mer and Wyatt devised is lost on him. Because, I definately think you're right--the whole not-wanting-to-die thing was on a much more subconscious level. I think in that moment she really wasn't

[morgenwrites]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the chapter and the parallels to the 3.15 eppy. There's definitely a lot of similarities that Derek's picking up on and worrying about, but of course Meredith isn't noticing them at all. And yeah, Mer has a big habit of getting involved in nearly all of Seattle's freak disasters. He's definitely worried about her because now he knows that there's this state of mind she can get into sometimes that has her doing things like voluntarily drowning. He doesn't trust her at all when she's like that, and he's determined not to make the same mistake twice even if protecting Mer means pissing her off

[gideon_harker]

My sleep deprived brain can only come up with two words: amazing and heartbreaking. It feels like everything is just crumbling down and it makes complete sense for Derek to be afraid that it'll end up badly for Mer (again). I hope they'll be able to figure at least something out soon.

[morgenwrites]

Thank you so much. :) I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter! Things are definitely rocky right now with Meredith and Derek, but it is going to lead them to some conversations I think they really need to have, so hopefully it'll feel worth it.

Thanks for reading. :D

Another dose of odd

[anonymous]

Now, because I am random and strange, I leave you this:

"Morgen, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Cuppa Invader Palin

Who knows, Cuppa Invader Palin you just might be president one day!"

From: http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html
~~~

I'll hold on to my tea.

~L

Re: Another dose of odd

[anonymous]

Okay, I'm putting my random wonderings in this separate little comment box thing. Wondering: what's that little room called behind the nurses' station? Like where George and Izzie chatted about syph? Do you know? I have absolutely no idea what to Google :P

About the Palin names thing, I found it amusing :) Apparently, I'd have been either Package Witchita P or Copper Catfish P - depending on my actual name or screen name. Strange. In the comments, though, there's other people with the same names. (Tripp. The baby's name is Tripp. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it's very... unique. Oh well. Glad they're happy.)

So yeah. Do you know what the little rooms are called?

~L

Re: Another dose of odd

[morgenwrites]

Hee. Cuppa Invader. That's fantastic. And I rather like Copper Catfish.

I don't understand how that woman comes up with the names for her children though. They're very...unique.

As for your question, I know the little room you're talking about. I tend to just call them conference rooms, but I have no clue if that's the actual correct name for them. So, yeah. Not sure how helpful that was. :D

Re: Another dose of odd

[anonymous]

Yeah, unique is definitely the word. I'd feel kinda bad for Bristol's baby's father/'s parents (but then again, Granny did get arrested for... something) since not only did SP name her baby Trig, but her daughter named HER baby Tripp. Seems like maybe it's genetic.

I'm rather fond of Copper Catfish myself :) Hee. Cuppa and Copper. Almost as bad as Trig and Tripp.

Conference rooms. Okay, that makes sense, since there was definitely conferencing involved. But then, um... where did Mer take her make-up test? And where did Addison get all stern authoritarian on those school girls who - I feel sick just writing it - dumped the baby in the trash? *Ducks flying objects* IDK, Mer's been seen in them once or twice researching, hasn't she? And isn't that where Alex did all the photocopying of Izzie as Dr. Bethany Whisper, and where he and George looked up people nailing themselves in the head? So maybe it has something to do with research?

~L