Dad's Vegas Wedding
I just got back from my Dad and Monica's wedding in Las Vegas, I'll fill you in on what I learned. If you don't have a big bank roll, don't start playing $10 black jack hands. I lost a bunch of money right off the bat and stayed up 'till 5am that night hunched looking at the felt, smoking cigarettes, drinking Coors Original and giving loud, bad advice to other gamblers.
You can get a lot done in a short amount of time in Vegas, it can also take a long time to do the simplest things; both situations result in the bizarre and surreal. In under an hour I went on a roller coaster, sung karaoke to "This Charming Man" and gave a smoke to a black guy named Casino! Can you believe he was born and raised in Vegas? As the Smiths started to roll for my kareoke jam a guy wearing a "FUCK ME I'M FAT" shirt said "Morrissey isn't welcome in the USA." Right on! However, if you want to get something done with a large group of people it will take forever, someone always has to take a piss, get a beer, take a rest, or is just plain lost. Seated on a bench, waiting as usual, I noticed one of the excesses of Vegas. A guy dropped a beer on the sidewalk then picked up the can and carried on. A puddle of beer was left behind. Quickly, a black man in a security guard outfit came to assess the situation. He stared down at the puddle, took hold of his radio and called in backup. The security guard held steadfast by the puddle. A black woman in a hotel uniform smoked and glared at the security guard with condescending attitude. Finally a Mexican janitorial worker arrived with mop and bucket, the crisis was averted. To me, that puddle is kind of what Vegas is all about. Vegas trades in common sense and rational thinking for the illusion of danger and spectacle.
