not mine, not mine at allglamazonwarriorMarch 13 2007, 19:01:04 UTC
copied and pasted from elsewhere:
Paddy has had a good drink but now he has a long walk home around the cemetary. But tonight he is feeling brave and is not worried about ghosts and such so decides to take a short cut through the cemetary.
Halfway through Paddy is beginning to notice the dark shadows, the gravestones, an owl hooting and such as his bravery begins to wear off but he continues doggedly on. A little further and he hears a scratching sound. He continues and this strange scratching sound gets louder. Paddy thinks about turning back but he is most of the way through the cenetary now and so continues at a bit of a hurry.
When he can bear the scratching sound no longer, Paddy suddenly stops. He has seen a man working on a gravestone. With a great sigh of relief Paddy goes over to see the man, the company being welcome on this dark and lonely night.
"What are you doing?" asks Paddy as he stands before the man who is using a stone to scratch the gravestone.
The man looks up.
"They spelt my name wrong."
******
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head.
A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head "
A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now Sean blimmin' hen gliding"
Paddy has had a good drink but now he has a long walk home around the cemetary. But tonight he is feeling brave and is not worried about ghosts and such so decides to take a short cut through the cemetary.
Halfway through Paddy is beginning to notice the dark shadows, the gravestones, an owl hooting and such as his bravery begins to wear off but he continues doggedly on. A little further and he hears a scratching sound. He continues and this strange scratching sound gets louder. Paddy thinks about turning back but he is most of the way through the cenetary now and so continues at a bit of a hurry.
When he can bear the scratching sound no longer, Paddy suddenly stops. He has seen a man working on a gravestone. With a great sigh of relief Paddy goes over to see the man, the company being welcome on this dark and lonely night.
"What are you doing?" asks Paddy as he stands before the man who is using a stone to scratch the gravestone.
The man looks up.
"They spelt my name wrong."
******
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem".
The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag."
The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.
"Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head.
A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'.
He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head "
A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the usual result.
Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now Sean blimmin' hen gliding"
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