its been a bad night
College away from home is like living two lives. The new life you have here, and then the structure of the life you had at home. It's like you're used to only having one best friend, but then you have the new and the old and it makes things complicated.
There are days when I love my college friends to bits because they're funny and goofy and hyper, and I have people like Annie who get me on this whole crazy level, and people like Joe who I can talk to for hours and hours.
and then sometimes I see people who look like someone from home (aw there's this boy that looks like MarTin, and I got so sad) and I'm like man those were the best times, I want to be back there. It's not being homesick, I don't really care so much about home as in my house, I just wish that my new friends and my old friends could mesh, and my old friends could be here with me for all of this.
I wish I had someone closer to me than 6 hours. Sometimes I just need a visit. I am so excited for the guys to come up in November, it's not even excitement, it's relief, I don't think I can go that long with out a dose of those guys, haha. and plus, it's about time for a saves the day show. oh they are indeed splendid.
For awhile there, that ache for something I didn't have went away, because I had it. And now it's back again, and I don't know what to do about that. You look at the people you idealize and see as what your version of perfect is, and sometimes it just hits you hard that it's what you're missing.
This is why I try not to watch OTH, lol, James Lafferty is just...too gorgeous. funnily enough, he wanted to major in poli sci in college.
I feel so untouched. my skin is just empty. how do I explain that? It reminds me of the end of RotK, when he says he can't remember the sound of water, lying naked in the dark...that's what it feels like...like mentally I can feel just about anything, but that somehow my body is just numb, and it forgot what its like to feel good. I need to swim SO bad. hopefully me and annie will go in the morning.
god i need a concert. i need to feel the exquisite uncomfortable go crazy cuz its so good sweat.
things are better if I stay
so long, and goodnight
so long, and goodnight....
can you hear me?
are you near me?
There are days when I love my college friends to bits because they're funny and goofy and hyper, and I have people like Annie who get me on this whole crazy level, and people like Joe who I can talk to for hours and hours.
and then sometimes I see people who look like someone from home (aw there's this boy that looks like MarTin, and I got so sad) and I'm like man those were the best times, I want to be back there. It's not being homesick, I don't really care so much about home as in my house, I just wish that my new friends and my old friends could mesh, and my old friends could be here with me for all of this.
I wish I had someone closer to me than 6 hours. Sometimes I just need a visit. I am so excited for the guys to come up in November, it's not even excitement, it's relief, I don't think I can go that long with out a dose of those guys, haha. and plus, it's about time for a saves the day show. oh they are indeed splendid.
For awhile there, that ache for something I didn't have went away, because I had it. And now it's back again, and I don't know what to do about that. You look at the people you idealize and see as what your version of perfect is, and sometimes it just hits you hard that it's what you're missing.
This is why I try not to watch OTH, lol, James Lafferty is just...too gorgeous. funnily enough, he wanted to major in poli sci in college.
I feel so untouched. my skin is just empty. how do I explain that? It reminds me of the end of RotK, when he says he can't remember the sound of water, lying naked in the dark...that's what it feels like...like mentally I can feel just about anything, but that somehow my body is just numb, and it forgot what its like to feel good. I need to swim SO bad. hopefully me and annie will go in the morning.
god i need a concert. i need to feel the exquisite uncomfortable go crazy cuz its so good sweat.
things are better if I stay
so long, and goodnight
so long, and goodnight....
can you hear me?
are you near me?