In Humble Despair
What can I say, but that I feel lonely. I find myself perusing my various facebook friends in order to remind myself that I do in fact have more than enough pleasant company. I just finished the marathon expenditure that is the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice. Curses to Jane Austen who continues to encourage and drown me in my desire to be the next Mrs. Darcy.*laughs* It is he silent demenor that intrances me, his quiet intensity. There is a mystery that has not yet been discovered it seems, perhaps that is what is so entrancing. His mystery.
I must admit I have had my heart wrapped up in emotins towards a certain person, far too risky and reckless a thing to do. For I only began caring for them when certain exisiting assumptions were encouraged. If only I had remained gaurded, than I would not have any attachments to break. But I have now come to admit certain immaturities on their part and it would never be benificial to admit my past adour for them or to attempt to precure his intentions.I feel like a weight, which was entirly of my doing, has been lifted from my shoulders. I can now start afresh.
While watching the comings and goings of such delightful ladies as Jane and Elizabeth Bennet I began to ponder what possible qualities have I attained; in ever securing a husband. I feel like a complete dunce in comparison. In what ways do I present a manner of grace and docility? I do not ever believe that I am capable of the combination, but I desire to. I feel as though I am far to lively and outgoing for anyone to desire to look deeper than what is my joyful exterior. That others assumptions are as follows, " she is such a fun girl." But does fun draw others in, does cute captivate? Honestly, I feel completly lacking of the quality.
I wonder where he is, my future Mr. Darcy? What is he doing at this momment, does he know how much I already love him and esteem in my heart? I pray for him, although not as much as I should. That he would be a good man, a righteous man, full of love and devotion for his Father in Heaven. That he would be a gentleman in the deepest regard, who would never tire of esteeming his wife. Oh how I cannot wait until the day when I can be held, such a simple thing, but one that means a vast amount. Truly, what I want more than anything is for a man who desires to prod and search out the deepest parts of my heart, to know me intimatly, and to be completly, yet not obessivley....captivated.
I assure you, after watching the series you will begin to write in this manner as well. Truly, it is vastly enjoyable. For an added touch, try reading/writing in an English accent, it is amazing how much vocabulary you will stumble upon on the excursion.
I must admit I have had my heart wrapped up in emotins towards a certain person, far too risky and reckless a thing to do. For I only began caring for them when certain exisiting assumptions were encouraged. If only I had remained gaurded, than I would not have any attachments to break. But I have now come to admit certain immaturities on their part and it would never be benificial to admit my past adour for them or to attempt to precure his intentions.I feel like a weight, which was entirly of my doing, has been lifted from my shoulders. I can now start afresh.
While watching the comings and goings of such delightful ladies as Jane and Elizabeth Bennet I began to ponder what possible qualities have I attained; in ever securing a husband. I feel like a complete dunce in comparison. In what ways do I present a manner of grace and docility? I do not ever believe that I am capable of the combination, but I desire to. I feel as though I am far to lively and outgoing for anyone to desire to look deeper than what is my joyful exterior. That others assumptions are as follows, " she is such a fun girl." But does fun draw others in, does cute captivate? Honestly, I feel completly lacking of the quality.
I wonder where he is, my future Mr. Darcy? What is he doing at this momment, does he know how much I already love him and esteem in my heart? I pray for him, although not as much as I should. That he would be a good man, a righteous man, full of love and devotion for his Father in Heaven. That he would be a gentleman in the deepest regard, who would never tire of esteeming his wife. Oh how I cannot wait until the day when I can be held, such a simple thing, but one that means a vast amount. Truly, what I want more than anything is for a man who desires to prod and search out the deepest parts of my heart, to know me intimatly, and to be completly, yet not obessivley....captivated.
I assure you, after watching the series you will begin to write in this manner as well. Truly, it is vastly enjoyable. For an added touch, try reading/writing in an English accent, it is amazing how much vocabulary you will stumble upon on the excursion.