Details. It's all in the details.
While I can detail my quarter-life crises for pages and hours on end, in real life I'm just as likely to focus on finding a pair of socks that resemble ones about which I've dreamed the night before than on a passage by Rilke. So today, my audience of maybe 3, I decided to share with you two of my very important, very superficial, quests. Welcome to my world of obsessive attention to detail. As long as I contain my compulsiveness in private life to Purell use and finding the perfect accessories, I figure there's no cause for worry.
The Black Hoodie
In 1997 I decided that not only did I want a black hoodie, but that it was an essential (missing) component of my wardrobe and thus began The Quest. At first I thought it would be easy - hoodies after all are a dime a dozen. To my disappointment, every hoodie I found possessed some flaw: too long, too thick, too narrow, too expensive, too bumpy when zipped. As the years passed and the right hoodie continued to elude me, I began to think that a hoodie that met all my requirements didn't exist (much like The Perfect Umbrella detailed below).
I'd almost given up hope and resigned myself to a hoodie-less state, when last September I visited an American Apparel store for the first time.There, hanging innocuously between a grey hoodie and one in navy blue, was The Black Hoodie. The Black Hoodie! I knew at first sight that this hoodie and I were destined to meet.
When I tried it on I almost cried. A lie - there were in fact no tears shed, but I felt incredibly happy, the hoodie being in every respect the hoodie of my dreams. It may have taken me 7 years, but the end result more than made the wait worth it. It does indeed occupy an essential place in my clothing line-up. In fact, I wear it so often it appears I own no other sweaters.
Although I could end here with a "and she lived with her hoodie happily ever after" the story of me and hoodies does not end so perfectly. While one might think I'd be content with The Black Hoodie, I've learned to accept that I am greedy. And here, as in most situations, I want more. Possession of The Perfect Black Hoodie has only awakened in me a deep craving for The Perfect Hot Pink Hoodie. American Apparel does not yet carry them, and I haven't found any others I like, but when it comes to holding out for a Perfect item, I have patience in abundance.
The Perfect Umbrella
For years - more than seven - I've searched far and wide for The Perfect Umbrella. My quest started, appropriately enough, with the rain. On a grey and dreary day, why, I wondered, would people use plain black and navy blue umbrellas? People caught outside on rainy days didn't need to look up to a sea of dullness. What I needed to combat that depressing view I decided was a cheerful umbrella. Before the Lulu Guinnesses and Cynthia Rowleys of the design world sold fun umbrellas, the world of umbrella sales was bleak indeed. Arrays of plain colors interspersed with ugly, overly-busy floral designs, stripes and of course the recognizable "label" designs which were made no less boring by their exorbitant pricing. Occassionally an umbrella broke away from the herd with an unusual handle, but umbrella manufacturers had clearly given their imaginations and senses of fun long vacations. My initial forays into umbrella shopping yielded nothing but disappointment.
Needing to use an umbrella in the interim I made do as I could. For awhile I had an ugly pink and grey umbrella with a pig head handle. (its redeeming aesthetic feature, but functionally irritating) and then one decorated with dolphins. Then came my foray into children's umbrellas - first came the yellow umbrella with pop-up ears that I'm glad I didn't then know was Pokeman, then the bumble bee umbrella. Made with both fun and practicality in mind the bumble bee umbrella could nearly be called perfect. Sadly, umbrellas with pop-up additions don't seem to withstand frequent use. In too short a time the pop-ups entangled in the spokes and that, combined with the unfortunate fact that children's umbrellas can't remain small enough for children's hands and still protect adult-sized people from the rain, eliminated it from consideration.
Contrary to what my fastidiousness might suggest, I can't describe The Perfect Umbrella's exact appearance. As with people's claims that in love there are multiple Ones for each of us, instead of the more romantic and difficult picture of the sole perfect person, I believe that many umbrellas could fit my requirements. I just need to find one of them. So what will make an umbrella My Perfect Umbrella? It must be both functional and sturdy - like those fashioned by the Royal Umbrella Makers whose every creation carries with it the guarantee of balance, smooth rolling spokes and longevity. The handle must be easy to grasp. My height and lifestyle necessitate a fold-up umbrella, - the lighter the better - that can withstand heavy rains and winds. More importantly I need an umbrella filled with whimsy, one that makes me smile and fills me with affection.
The longest running of my Very Important searches, my craving for The Perfect Umbrella reached such desperate levels circa 2000 that I announced (while perfectly sober) that my ideal partner-in-life would have to share my taste in umbrellas in order to be a contender. Luckily my sanity regained a semblance of equilibrium. I've since downgraded personal umbrella choice from strict requirement to cause for multiple checks in the plus column, and some may say I'm settling, but an appreciation for the importance of umbrella decoration and design - rather than to-be-envied umbrella ownership - will now suffice.
I've come close on many an occasion. Lulu Guinness and Cynthia Rowley umbrellas almost reach perfect level. I even have an Umbrella That Got Away - I saw it in Amsterdam - its edges resembled tulip petals and its handle was made to resemble a red tulip. That was years ago and I still regret its loss). The Perfect Umbrella, however, still eludes me.
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I haven't limited myself to umbrellas and hoodies. I've engaged in searches for the perfect pair of shoes (several times), the perfect type of socks, perfectly designed drinking glasses... Currently I'm on look-out for The Perfect Skirt. I figure my Quests will never end, that I'll always want something unimportant, but perfectly designed, very badly. It may be superficial, but it's a quirk with which I can live.