(no subject)
This would all make a lot more sense if I felt like I could be honest on livejournal. But since I don't, let's just cover the surface.
I've learned a lot these past few weeks, want to know the best AND worst part? I deserved all of it. Hope for the reconcilliation of Rachel and I as lovers again faded slowly, day by painstaking day. I wallowed for my loss like I was all over seventeen again. That brought everyone down, so it took it upon myself to get as fucked up as I could to hide it and keep myself social. Sure everyone knew, but they all understood, for there are no secrets here. She was the perfect girl to hold for my first months in Chicago, and that's been hard to let go of. But starting last night, I finally came to understand her game and now I can only look upon her with the fondest of memories. Whole heartedly believing I'm coming out of the sadness and regret that have encompassed the last month and a half, I can see hope glowing clearly on the horizon. I'm on my way, but I'm not there yet.
Curtis got it right when he made his great escape. He made it out of the drama and madness of our circles just before the whole structure came crashing down. After Phil Collins's bar-mitzvah in 1521c, we all woke up the next morning wondering if it was worth it.
That morning, no matter how I tried to forget that there was someone unwanted in my bed, she still was when I finally rolled over to face the day and the harsh realizations that came with it. It happens, or at least they say it does. To be perfectly honest: it made me feel better, but not nearly as much as it made me feel worse.
Dave just asked me if this is the turning point, and I think the answer is yes. I would have had a much harder time getting through this rough patch if Dave hadn't made it to Chicago and somehow become my roommate through all our plotting and scheming. At present, we have a practice room checked out on the second floor and three rough songs in various stages of development, thank god. I'm getting back to what makes me happy, doing what I set out to do. We've also come to the decision that we need to get out more in the interest of variety and friends that we're not yet getting sick of. What better time than the beginning of spring to explore every street, park and back alley of Chicago?
In this ambitious spirit, tonight we ended up at a party on Wabash tonight with a group of people we're rarely with. It turned out that the girl who's birthday party it was graduated from Groves in 2005 and there were quite a few kids from Michigan there. Unfortunately the party itself was an alphabet, lots of lame dudes I didn't want to meet and a few scattered girls. But it served it's purpose. I spent most of the night in the smoking room with rotating groups of mellow people and one beautiful girl, collectively ignoring the madness of Chicago Brofest 2006. I had fun.
Detroit already had the Super Bowl, so what's next? SPRING BREAK 2006, ERIC AND DAVE STYLE! We leave Saturday, just in time for a break from the alternate universe that the UC sucks it's residents into. Then back to Chicago, and the future.
I'll see you at the finish line.
I've learned a lot these past few weeks, want to know the best AND worst part? I deserved all of it. Hope for the reconcilliation of Rachel and I as lovers again faded slowly, day by painstaking day. I wallowed for my loss like I was all over seventeen again. That brought everyone down, so it took it upon myself to get as fucked up as I could to hide it and keep myself social. Sure everyone knew, but they all understood, for there are no secrets here. She was the perfect girl to hold for my first months in Chicago, and that's been hard to let go of. But starting last night, I finally came to understand her game and now I can only look upon her with the fondest of memories. Whole heartedly believing I'm coming out of the sadness and regret that have encompassed the last month and a half, I can see hope glowing clearly on the horizon. I'm on my way, but I'm not there yet.
Curtis got it right when he made his great escape. He made it out of the drama and madness of our circles just before the whole structure came crashing down. After Phil Collins's bar-mitzvah in 1521c, we all woke up the next morning wondering if it was worth it.
That morning, no matter how I tried to forget that there was someone unwanted in my bed, she still was when I finally rolled over to face the day and the harsh realizations that came with it. It happens, or at least they say it does. To be perfectly honest: it made me feel better, but not nearly as much as it made me feel worse.
Dave just asked me if this is the turning point, and I think the answer is yes. I would have had a much harder time getting through this rough patch if Dave hadn't made it to Chicago and somehow become my roommate through all our plotting and scheming. At present, we have a practice room checked out on the second floor and three rough songs in various stages of development, thank god. I'm getting back to what makes me happy, doing what I set out to do. We've also come to the decision that we need to get out more in the interest of variety and friends that we're not yet getting sick of. What better time than the beginning of spring to explore every street, park and back alley of Chicago?
In this ambitious spirit, tonight we ended up at a party on Wabash tonight with a group of people we're rarely with. It turned out that the girl who's birthday party it was graduated from Groves in 2005 and there were quite a few kids from Michigan there. Unfortunately the party itself was an alphabet, lots of lame dudes I didn't want to meet and a few scattered girls. But it served it's purpose. I spent most of the night in the smoking room with rotating groups of mellow people and one beautiful girl, collectively ignoring the madness of Chicago Brofest 2006. I had fun.
Detroit already had the Super Bowl, so what's next? SPRING BREAK 2006, ERIC AND DAVE STYLE! We leave Saturday, just in time for a break from the alternate universe that the UC sucks it's residents into. Then back to Chicago, and the future.
I'll see you at the finish line.