My cousin's funeral, and my experience with the Baptist church

[morethanascar]

Yesterday was my cousin's funeral. It was at a baptist church on 14 and Van Dyke. The service was held at a church because all of the people couldnt fit in the funeral home. We almost needed a bigger church. Jordan came with me. I think he cried more yesterday than at his own cousin's funeral. People from my old neighborhood came, who I havent seen in years. There was a huge amount of support and love. The building was packed. Every kind of kid from thugs to punks. I never knew my cousin touched so many people, but its not hard to believe with what a wondeful guy he was. His school, Warren Mott, actually brought two bus loads of kids right from his school. The parking lot was completly jam packed, with cars packed with kids. All of the people there was a beautiful thing to see. The support was incredible. It was like something out of a movie. In the most tragic of times, all of this was a beautiful sight to see. When the church steped in for the service however, I have never been so pissed off in my entire life. Anyone that knows me knows that I feel very strongly about things and I can have a bit of a temper from time to time. I dont know the appropriate titles for people who work in churches, but for these guys, I will call them fucks. The first guy wasnt as bad, he was a friend of the other side of Garrett's family. Garrett and his family were never religious people. They were just the funniest, craziest, good people anyone could ever meet. So this man goes up there and starts talking blah blah blah, saying a few things that just caught my attention from anger. After that, we had this guy who seemed like a first round American Idol try out singing amazing grace. This guy was more flat than a 12 year old girl. It was really pissing me off that this guy could not sing. My cousin was a great guy, and deserved more than ( insert best singer in the world) singing for him. It seemed almost disrespectful to me, and if I see things as disrespectful to my family or friends, I dont take it well. I can take more shit about my self than I can for family and friends. I will snap way faster for my family and friends. After this William Hung wanna be ass hole got off of the stage, the biggest fucking cunt I have ever met in my life went up there. This guy never met Garrett to start off with. He had no right to even talk. Then this guy totally used the death of my cousin to try to get more followers for his church. He took the spot light off of Garrett, and put it on Jesus, God, Satan, and any other damn name in the bible. He may have said my cousin's name three times, and one of those was when he said " be mad at Garrett for being so selfish!!". This is where I wanted to kill this man. I was NEVER mad at my cousin. I have nothing but love for him. He was my bro man. We grew up together. This fuck is telling me to be mad at my cousin? No, fuck that, and above all, fuck him. I love my cousin, thats why I was there, not to be a part of his little friday morning mass bullshit. Then he started talking about how bad it was that my cousin killed himself, and this was an act of satan! He started talking about how its so easy to hate God when this happens, because Satan is really hiding behind God and letting "him" take the blame. Not to mention God is all mighty and powerful. Well where the hell was God When my cousin climbed the fence of the 696 cat walk and jumped over 30 feet to his death? Then he started reading things out of the bible that had nothing to do with anything we were there for. He opened the doors to his church, because he saw an opportunity to get followers of his religion while people were down and weak. Well sorry asshole, it didnt fucking work. My family is as tough as nails, expecialy my Grand ma. Im convinced she is the strongest woman ever. she was there for everyone. She talked to Garretts friends and helped them. She is an amazing, beautiful person, and I wish I could be half as brave as her. Anyways, back to the fuck ass. After this man offended and got my " so full of rage", he decided to move onto everyone else in the room. As if he didnt piss off all of the kids by saying " be mad at Garrett", which no one ever was, he decided to attack other peoples beliefs. He said " I know there are a lot of teachers here who teach you about evolution, and no disrepect to them, but thats wrong!". Yea, no disrespect, but your just stupid and wrong. Fuck off asshole. Hey, heres an idea, lets attack religion. This fuck was the most closed minded ass hole I have ever met. He started saying shit like " oh it dosnt matter what religion you believe in, your all going to die, but you can only be saved by Jesus christ". My mother and aunt work in Southfiled. Southfield has a huge Jewish population, and many of the doctors they work with are jewish, and have showed incredible support. Let me tell you something about the Jewish faith. They dont believe in the whole Jesus idea like Christians. So this man pretty muched said that they werent going to be "saved" because they dont believe in Jesus. Have we offended everyone yet? Well if not, lets tie in fucking 9/11, terrorist attacks, and the way in Iraq to my cousins death, to push your political beliefs on us too. Anyway, this dumb shit just kept spewing this shit from his mouth and pissing people off. I tried my best to control myself in respect for Garrett, the real reason I was there. My cousin Kelsey, Garrett's younger sister, and best friend went on stage, and I could never be more proud of her. She read a poem that she wrote. She went up there and said " I wrote a poem, its not very good, but its my first one". It was absolutley beautiful. After she read that she said how Garrett was always there for her and how he was her best friend. After she said something that made me so happy. Earlier that fuck ass was telling us to be mad at Garrett. My cousin Kelsey said " Garrett, I could never be mad at you, I only love you." Excuse me for sounding like a halmark card, but it was amazing. I was so proud of her. My aunt went up to speak a little later on. She slowly made her way up to the microphone. She started off by saying " My name is Kelly, Im Garrett's mother." She went into saying how they were never a religious family, and now she dosnt even know how to pray. She went on to beging kids if they ever hear anyone talking about suicide, tell a freind, family member, teacher or anyone. This morning I found out that she got a phone call from one of Garrett's friends who was planing on doing the same thing as Garrett. She spoke to his parents, and now hes getting help. I think My aunt helped save someone elses child so they wouldnt have to go through what she is going through. One of Garrett's friends went on stage a preformed a song that she wrote. They played a slide show on the wall while she did it. At this point I couldnt even speak, but this girl went on stage infront of hundreds of people and did an amazing job. She put the song on Cds and sold them and gave all of the money to my aunt and uncle. She ran out of the first pressing in just a few minutes. Finally, it was time to say goodbye to an amazing person who touched so many lives. It took over an hour and a half to clear out all of the people there. Everyone said thier goodbyes to Garrett, a great friend, and family member. After they said goodbye, they huged my aunt, uncle, and cousin. People were falling to thier knees in front of them. They were so sorry for them, and everyone offered to do anything they possibly could to help. I was a paul barer, so I was one of the last to say goodbye. I walked up to see my 17 year old cousin laying in a casket. It was to fucked up to see this. All I could think of was all of the amazing memories we had growing up.I left him two pennies, gave him a kiss on his forehead, promised him I would do everything I could for his family just like he would, and told him that I loved him. My aunt, uncle, and cousin were a mess obviously. My uncle started screaming " Im never going to see him again" and he fell over. His brother and my Dad caught him and set him down. Kelsey and my aunt huged Garrett and told him they loved him. My uncle Tony got back up and as much as he didnt want to, said goodbye. I was a paul barer along with my Dad, My cousin, Darren, Uncle Drew, and Garretts cousins from the other side, Dave and Jeramy, who are great guys. We helped eachother through it. As we carried Garrett out, my Uncle held onto my aunt and cousin. I just wished I could take on some of thier pain so they dont have as much. As we walked out of the church, all of his friends were lined up out side. We loaded the casket into the hurst and my cousin Kelsey kissed it and said goodbye. Everyone walked away from the husrt, but I stood there for a second. I thought of all of the great times that I wrote about in a book to him. Everyone wrote something in it. The book was covered cover to cover in smeared ink from tears. I kissed the casket and told Garrett I will see him again, and that I loved him. On the way to my aunts house, we went by the cat walk. From a mile down the highway we could see the cat walk filled with kids. We went up there and there was no room to move. So many people were up there leaving flowers and lighting candels. My aunt, uncle and cousin kneeled over a candle that was next to Garretts old snaped skateboard. They lit the candle and got up. A news reporter was driving by and saw, so asked what was going on. The whole story was explained, and she is now righting a story on the memorial. The only reason I can go up onto that cat walk is from the insane amount of support. There were so many people up there that you could feel it shake when the wind blew. People driving below us beeped thier horns in support. The cat walk is such a tragic place, but there is so much love, I can go up there. I almost feel at peace whe im up there seeing everything and hearing the horns every few seconds showing support. I got to my aunts house to find Mike, Nick, and Will there, who brought food from my work. It was so nice of my work to do that, and it really ment a lot to my aunt and uncle. They havent been eating much latley, but they loved the food and ate a good amount. So thank you guys for taking the time out of your day to bring it there for us. We are more than greatful for it.

Yesterday I had a nightmare, but I never woke up. You never imagine these things are going to happen. Its so hard, but there is an overwhelming amount of support. Thank you to everyone who has helped. You guys have no idea how much it means to me just to get a phone call offering to hang out. Thank you all.

RIP Garrett - I love you