[OOC] CFUW Essay
I bet we're all tired of these, but I want to get mine out anyway. \o/
● Echo joined to actually try and have fun in a CFUW game for once. Since having fun for the first time in her life, she had been wanting to experience more of it and what better way than to participate in a game of Cry Wolf? And as a wolf for a change!
● She didn't realize they were in trouble until the branding during their not!dinner. After learning it was a kill game, Echo felt the same way as when she follows her master's orders (she has pointed a knife at a kid and kidnapped a girl before thanks to him). Then she knew she wasn't going to have fun anymore. :'(
● Throughout the game, Echo felt... not much different than usual? Like I said, she's used to following messed-up orders and people dying. It might help if I say that Echo's normal = helpless and repressed.
● Echo was pretty annoyed with the public things going on since she didn't want any unnecessary attention on the situation. These only made the friends of the people involved more worried, and that altogether made her feel worse about being apart of it. She took into consideration that outside sources would be able to help, but she didn't think they could do anything. She was pretty pessimistic for the entirety of the game.
● Masque reminded her of Master Vincent. Thanks to Lulu for helping with that lolol. This made Echo think things out it in a "what would Vincent do?" way. She based all of her assumptions off this thought process.
Example: Everyone is trying to rebel and this is going to upset Masque! Now, let's see... When Master Vincent is angry at Echo, what does he do to her? OH RIGHT, HE PUNISHES HER. SO MASQUE IS PROBABLY GOING TO DO THE SAME. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
● Echo shrugged off the deaths and pushed away her feelings of guilt for lying during the game.You know, like she usually does with everything.
● She assumed nobody could do anything about the kill game which resulted in more feelings of fear and LOADS MORE HELPLESSNESS, but she bottled all that up, too!!!!!!
● "Who to pick next?" was the first thing she thought after ousting was over. She honestly just wanted to end the game and knew this was the only way to do that ASAP. :(
● THE IDEA OF REBELLION FUCKING FRIGHTENED HER--or rather, it was the punishment they would receive from Masque that got to her. The ACTUAL idea of a revolt made her excited, in the "you mean we might not have to sacrifice people anymore?" way. Then again, Echo knew it was impossible, so it kind of kill-joyed it.
● Since the assumed "leaders" of the pack, Ritsuka/Soubi and Lelouch, were kind of losing it, from Echo's perspective, she was very grateful for Benio and Rui's encouragement to continue with the game. Echo is very much a follower in most cases. Not that she minds being the only one to think a certain way, but this helped to take away the pain of going along with a kill game as wolves.
● When Satoshi pulled that trick on Echo, she felt... ??? Like, after lying, pretending, and trying to pull being a wolf off, he suddenly reveals that he tricked her. And she fell for it. At the time, she didn't even know how to defend herself against it--hell, it didn't even cross her mind to try because she doesn't normally stand up for herself like that. So. She folded under the pressure of just being helpless and... yeah.
● This is where Noise comes in! Noise will typically take power over their body when Echo is experiencing vulnerability, be it physical or mental, or whenever she feels like it! Echo can actually fight back when she tries, even though it can be one helluva struggle at times. When this happens, Echo and Noise literally switch spots in her... their head. Um. ANYWAY. When Echo is falling apart in a situation like that and not doing anything to defend herself? WHEN THINGS ARE ON FIRE AND PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING A HUGE-ASS DOG??? That's when Noise pretty much said "BITCH, STEP ASIDE" and took control. Normally, Echo would try to fight back since it's an order from her master to keep her under wraps, but... Delirium also played a part in messing with her psyche and it sorta fucked things up for her.
● Echo only vaguely remembers what happened--mostly because she was blocking it out. After she came to from that ~exorcism~, she got a clue when she saw John's corpse and came to the conclusion that something definitely happened. And it involved Noise.
● Then it hit her: SOME PEOPLE SAW WHAT HAPPENED. Haha, she even half-denied anything happened to Satoshi. She also realized that her flip-out earlier made it clear that she was a wolf. DUN DUN DUNNNN~ throw in some more helpless feelings of not being able to defend herself (how many times have I mentioned the word "helpless" in this essay?).
● During the ousting, Echo was positive she was going to die and sat it out--until Loudspeaker and Stephan and EPIC BATTERU happened. Um. No words. But she really did think she was going to die.
● Now that it's over, Echo is terrified of Vincent finding out that Noise got caused some havoc. She sorta does trust Ritsuka/Soubi to keep it a secret, but she's also a little worried that they won't, which is fair since she's distrusting and she only just met them really. Oh well, Echo is going to BOTTLE IT UP and pretend it didn't happen. She's a pro at that~
TL;DR? FEELINGS OF GUILT, FEAR, AND HELPLESSNESS WERE SUCCESSFULLY BOTTLED, MASQUE SOMEHOW REMINDED HER OF MASTER VINCENT, THIS GAME WAS ALMOST LIKE HER NORMAL LIFE, AND OH SHIT SON, SHE LOST IT AND TRIED TO HURT CAMP'S FAVOURITE KID AND KILLED A PRIEST INSTEAD.
--and that's just the more strictly-related CFUW gist of things. I was going to tack on an essay of Echo of Noise in this entry, but that would just make it super long. I'll type that up next time. ♥
ETA: oh god, please forgive me for the sponsored layout. kldafadfs
● Echo joined to actually try and have fun in a CFUW game for once. Since having fun for the first time in her life, she had been wanting to experience more of it and what better way than to participate in a game of Cry Wolf? And as a wolf for a change!
● She didn't realize they were in trouble until the branding during their not!dinner. After learning it was a kill game, Echo felt the same way as when she follows her master's orders (she has pointed a knife at a kid and kidnapped a girl before thanks to him). Then she knew she wasn't going to have fun anymore. :'(
● Throughout the game, Echo felt... not much different than usual? Like I said, she's used to following messed-up orders and people dying. It might help if I say that Echo's normal = helpless and repressed.
● Echo was pretty annoyed with the public things going on since she didn't want any unnecessary attention on the situation. These only made the friends of the people involved more worried, and that altogether made her feel worse about being apart of it. She took into consideration that outside sources would be able to help, but she didn't think they could do anything. She was pretty pessimistic for the entirety of the game.
● Masque reminded her of Master Vincent. Thanks to Lulu for helping with that lolol. This made Echo think things out it in a "what would Vincent do?" way. She based all of her assumptions off this thought process.
Example: Everyone is trying to rebel and this is going to upset Masque! Now, let's see... When Master Vincent is angry at Echo, what does he do to her? OH RIGHT, HE PUNISHES HER. SO MASQUE IS PROBABLY GOING TO DO THE SAME. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
● Echo shrugged off the deaths and pushed away her feelings of guilt for lying during the game.You know, like she usually does with everything.
● She assumed nobody could do anything about the kill game which resulted in more feelings of fear and LOADS MORE HELPLESSNESS, but she bottled all that up, too!!!!!!
● "Who to pick next?" was the first thing she thought after ousting was over. She honestly just wanted to end the game and knew this was the only way to do that ASAP. :(
● THE IDEA OF REBELLION FUCKING FRIGHTENED HER--or rather, it was the punishment they would receive from Masque that got to her. The ACTUAL idea of a revolt made her excited, in the "you mean we might not have to sacrifice people anymore?" way. Then again, Echo knew it was impossible, so it kind of kill-joyed it.
● Since the assumed "leaders" of the pack, Ritsuka/Soubi and Lelouch, were kind of losing it, from Echo's perspective, she was very grateful for Benio and Rui's encouragement to continue with the game. Echo is very much a follower in most cases. Not that she minds being the only one to think a certain way, but this helped to take away the pain of going along with a kill game as wolves.
● When Satoshi pulled that trick on Echo, she felt... ??? Like, after lying, pretending, and trying to pull being a wolf off, he suddenly reveals that he tricked her. And she fell for it. At the time, she didn't even know how to defend herself against it--hell, it didn't even cross her mind to try because she doesn't normally stand up for herself like that. So. She folded under the pressure of just being helpless and... yeah.
● This is where Noise comes in! Noise will typically take power over their body when Echo is experiencing vulnerability, be it physical or mental, or whenever she feels like it! Echo can actually fight back when she tries, even though it can be one helluva struggle at times. When this happens, Echo and Noise literally switch spots in her... their head. Um. ANYWAY. When Echo is falling apart in a situation like that and not doing anything to defend herself? WHEN THINGS ARE ON FIRE AND PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING A HUGE-ASS DOG??? That's when Noise pretty much said "BITCH, STEP ASIDE" and took control. Normally, Echo would try to fight back since it's an order from her master to keep her under wraps, but... Delirium also played a part in messing with her psyche and it sorta fucked things up for her.
● Echo only vaguely remembers what happened--mostly because she was blocking it out. After she came to from that ~exorcism~, she got a clue when she saw John's corpse and came to the conclusion that something definitely happened. And it involved Noise.
● Then it hit her: SOME PEOPLE SAW WHAT HAPPENED. Haha, she even half-denied anything happened to Satoshi. She also realized that her flip-out earlier made it clear that she was a wolf. DUN DUN DUNNNN~ throw in some more helpless feelings of not being able to defend herself (how many times have I mentioned the word "helpless" in this essay?).
● During the ousting, Echo was positive she was going to die and sat it out--until Loudspeaker and Stephan and EPIC BATTERU happened. Um. No words. But she really did think she was going to die.
● Now that it's over, Echo is terrified of Vincent finding out that Noise got caused some havoc. She sorta does trust Ritsuka/Soubi to keep it a secret, but she's also a little worried that they won't, which is fair since she's distrusting and she only just met them really. Oh well, Echo is going to BOTTLE IT UP and pretend it didn't happen. She's a pro at that~
TL;DR? FEELINGS OF GUILT, FEAR, AND HELPLESSNESS WERE SUCCESSFULLY BOTTLED, MASQUE SOMEHOW REMINDED HER OF MASTER VINCENT, THIS GAME WAS ALMOST LIKE HER NORMAL LIFE, AND OH SHIT SON, SHE LOST IT AND TRIED TO HURT CAMP'S FAVOURITE KID AND KILLED A PRIEST INSTEAD.
--and that's just the more strictly-related CFUW gist of things. I was going to tack on an essay of Echo of Noise in this entry, but that would just make it super long. I'll type that up next time. ♥
ETA: oh god, please forgive me for the sponsored layout. kldafadfs