FIC: Johnny is the Fairest Man
Author: Morena Donn
Title: Johnny is the Fairest Man
Rated: PG
Beckett/Ford first time, McKay/Sheppard preslash
Summary: "The point is, you’re bloody well insane." Rodney tries to help Carson, but he's working from an erroneous assumption.
A/N *Not* a songfic, other than the fact that it's Carson's whistling that causes Rodney to leap to conclusions. Lyrics not included, other than the line Rodney quotes, because they have no bearing on the story, but I'd be happy to e-mail a copy to anybody who's curious.
Thanks as always to my wonderful beta brindel
"Something you want to tell me, Carson?"
"No, not particularly, Rodney."
"It’s just, you’ve been whistling "P stands for Paddy" ever since Sheppard left."
"So?"
"I don’t care what anybody says, Johnny is the fairest man?" Rodney sang. He had a surprisingly pleasant voice, and Carson would have enjoyed it, if he hadn't sounded so damned condescending. Not to mention that what he was hinting at was patently ridiculous, and a very poor joke. He snorted and shook his head.
"I thought it might, you know, *mean* something to you." Rodney continued, oblivious to Carson’s exasperation.
Carson blinked. .Oh my god, he believes it. "No, it …wait. How’d ye know that song?" he asked, trying to change the subject.
"Hello? *McKay*? It’s a damned sight more Celtic than Beckett. Grannie McKay used to sing that all the time. Although, come to think of it, *her* maiden name was Jones. But that’s beside the point. The point is, you *like* Major Sheppard."
"The point is, you’re bloody well insane."
"Ah, come on, Carson, I’m your friend, you can tell me. It’s not easy liking a military man, is it?"
"No, it’s not." Rodney looked so earnestly sympathetic that Carson answered without thinking.
"Ah ha! I knew it." Rodney said triumphantly. "Well, the course of true love never runs smooth and all that. I’m a genius, I can help."
"Rodney, that’s not..."
"Strictly necessary, I know, but I insist."
"Rodney!"
"Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything."
"But, Rodney..." Carson was talking to the other man’s back as he all but ran from the room in his eagerness to ‘help’. "...Sheppard’s not the one I like." Carson finished softly, and buried his face in his hands.
*************
"Ah, Lieutenant Ford, just the man I want to see. I need your help."
"And why’s that, doc? You finally piss someone off to the point you need a bodyguard?"
"Ha ha. Very funny. No, seriously, I need your help with a little project. "
"I don’t know, McKay, I’m no scientist."
"Oh, I don’t need a scientist. I need an accomplice." Rodney lowered his voice conspiratorially. "You see, I’ve noticed a couple of our friends are, shall we say, interested in each other, but are taking their own sweet time acting on it, which is where we come in. I can take care of Dr. Voodoo, if you’ll give Sheppard a little nudge."
"You want to play matchmaker for the Major and Ca....Dr. Beckett?" Ford’s voice rose in dismay.
"What’s the matter, Lieutenant? Don’t tell me you’re homophobic."
Homophobic? Him? Ford bit back a bitter laugh. If you only knew. It was the idea of Carson with someone else that had him so upset. Unfortunately, there was no sign his feelings for Carson were returned. And being a Marine was all about sacrifice. Alright. Sheppard was a good man. If being with him would make Carson happy, Aiden wouldn’t stand in the way. He mentally squared his shoulders and looked McKay in the eye. "I’m in."
McKay gave a crooked smile. "Good, good. Now what I’m thinking is..."
*********************
Ford led Sheppard into an unused lab, furnished with what was probably the only real couch in Atlantis. A complicated arrangement of laptops sat on a table opposite it, rigged to make a decent sized movie screen. There were a few of the Athosian candles and one or two overstuffed cushions, apparently McKay’s attempt to make a more romantic setting. As instructed, Aiden got Sheppard seated in the middle, leaving plenty of room for Carson on his other side. He’d also been instructed to sing the man’s praises to Sheppard, but found the words stuck in his throat.
"So, this is different." Sheppard remarked casually, breaking the brief but awkward silence. "Remind me what we’re doing here?"
Aiden snorted. "Humoring McKay."
"Right." Sheppard nodded, seeming to accept that as a perfectly reasonable explanation for any amount of bizarre behavior, and didn’t press further. Aiden was grateful - he was having a harder time with the whole ‘noble and self-sacrificing’ thing than he’d thought he would, and didn’t know that he’d be able to explain without accidentally coming out. He was pretty sure Sheppard would be okay with him being gay - hell, if McKay was right, he could hardly object - but he didn’t want to press his luck.
---
Carson followed Rodney into the makeshift rec room/theater, a bit puzzled that his friend had suddenly decided to give in to his suggestions to relax, but perfectly happy to encourage him - until he caught site of Aiden Ford seated by John Sheppard on the couch. Carson stopped short, barely resisting the urge to strangle Rodney. He’d been set up! Not only had Rodney manipulated him, but not content to simply embarrass Carson by trying to hook him up with the wrong man, the interfering imbecile had enlisted the help of the right one!
Carson looked at Aiden, trying to determine if he was a willing participant in Rodney’s scheme, or if he’d been steamrolled into it as had Carson himself. The lad was wearing his "good soldier" face, and Carson simply couldn’t tell. Like everything else, it was a good look on him. It occurred to Carson that he hadn’t seen nearly enough of the handsome soldier lately, and this was as good a time to remedy it as any. Ruthlessly squashing the bit of conscience that insisted he end this farce *now*, he simply plopped himself down *on Ford’s other side*, watching with some satisfaction as Rodney nearly worked himself into a stroke, trying to discreetly signal Ford to move.
---
Aiden’s breath caught as Carson sat down beside him. McKay caught his eye, making frantic little gestures, and he could tell that the scientist wanted him to move - but damned if he was going to. He was here, he’d brought Sheppard - and that was all he was prepared to do. So he pretended to misunderstand, happy for once to encourage McKay’s less than flattering opinion of his intelligence.
McKay turned an interesting shade of red, rolled his eyes and flopped down beside Sheppard, and then, apparently feeling crowded, shoved him none to gently sideways. Aiden obligingly scooted over to give the Major some room, but Carson stayed put, not seeming to care that Aiden’s thigh was now pressed warmly against his own.
It felt good. Maybe too good. He firmly reminded himself of why he was here, to help get Sheppard and Carson together, not to indulge his own unrequited feelings. Too bad the reminder didn’t work. As the evening wore on, Aiden found himself relaxing, and started leaning slightly into Carson. To his confusion and delight, the doctor made no attempt to move away. If anything, he seemed to be inching closer himself, but Aiden was almost sure that was just wishful thinking.
When the movie ended, Sheppard stood and stretched. "That was fun, we’ll have to do it again sometime." He didn’t quite manage to stifle a deep yawn. "But it’s been a long day and it’s time for good little soldiers to be in bed. Ford? You coming?" Aiden reluctantly pried himself away from Carson’s warm side and stood, echoing Sheppard’s yawn. It was probably just as well Sheppard had decided it was time to leave: Aiden had been a little *too* comfortable and had been that far from putting his head down on Carson’s shoulder, something that was definitely *not* part of McKay's plan.
---
After the soldiers left, Rodney fixed Carson with an accusing glare. "What the hell was that? I went to all this trouble," he said, indicating the screen and couch (well okay, Ford had moved the couch, but he’d directed, and he’d found the damn thing) "and you didn’t even sit by him."
Carson sighed, feeling just a bit guilty. It was time to come clean. "I’m sorry, Rodney, it’s just that...well, you know what they say about love and higher reasoning. You see, I..." He wasn’t allowed to finish the sentence.
Rodney waved a dismissive hand. "Right, right no problem, we’ll just have to try again." he said magnanimously.
"Rodney, you don’t understand. It’ll never work, ye’ve got the wrong..."
But Rodney still wasn’t listening. "No, really, it’s good. Easing in might be best. Sheppard seemed happy, relaxed. Didn’t he seem happy?"
Carson resisted rolling his eyes. In truth, he hadn’t paid the Major any mind once he’d been seated next to Aiden, but Rodney apparently had been paying close attention. Carson considered drawing a few conclusions of his own from that, but he was already painfully aware of the dangers of making just such assumptions. Och, well, if the man wasn’t going to listen, it wasn’t Carson’s fault. As long as Aiden Ford was included in Rodney's ridiculous schemes, Carson would play along.
***********************************************
Rodney watched in growing frustration as the weeks passed. Sure, Sheppard and Carson were spending time together, but the courtship was not proceeding according to plan. Carson always seemed to be hiding behind Ford, who wasn’t as much help as he could have been. Rodney had thought that his presence, conveying the tacit approval of a fellow soldier, would help, but maybe he should have asked someone with more brains, like Zelenka, to be his fellow schemer.
He finally decided to approach Sheppard directly. Carson seemed bound and determined to undermine all of Rodney’s efforts on his behalf. Perhaps the Major would prove more cooperative. He certainly couldn’t be any *less* helpful. He cornered the man in the gym, at the end of one of Teyla’s stickfighting lessons.
"So listen, I was thinking about using the terrace on the second tower for a little intimate dinner. You know, starlight, the sound of the surf, maybe some candles. I think I could rig up a fairly decent sound system out there too. Maybe have a hint of mood music? What do you think?"
Sheppard seemed surprised. "Why Rodney, I had no idea you were such a romantic. Who’s the lucky lady?"
Rodney was momentarily taken aback. "I’m... no, no it’s not for me, I’m just trying to help out a couple of friends."
"Oh?" John replied, momentarily stumped as to who the ‘friends’ could be. And then he mentally rewound Beckett and Ford’s behavior during their last few get-togethers.
"*Oh*," he repeated with more conviction. "I can’t believe I didn’t see it. Just leave it to me. And be sure the three of you are in my quarters at 7:00."
"Four of us? Isn’t that a bit...crowded...for a tryst?" Rodney protested.
"It’ll only be four for long enough to help break the ice."
Rodney shrugged. It seemed like Sheppard still had doubts about Carson’s reception to his overtures. Rodney considered telling him he was being ridiculous, but there didn’t seem to be much point. If having him and Ford there at the start of his date made Sheppard more comfortable, he didn’t see what it could hurt. They could always withdraw when things got going. He returned to his lab, more than happy to work on really important stuff, while Sheppard set the scene for his own date.
************************
When the three of them arrived at John’s quarters, it was to a stunningly gorgeous setting. Everything in the room had been moved to one end and a narrow rectangular table took center stage in the open space. The lighting had been modified to put a soft spotlight on the table while hiding the rest of the room in the shadows. The table itself practically glowed as the light struck the white cloth that draped down its sides, while a colorful array of dishes filled the surface, and the entire arrangement was flanked by two straight-backed chairs.
Carson gave the table a quizzical look. "Um, not to point out the obvious, but we seem to be short a few place settings."
Rodney turned to Ford. "And that’s our cue to leave."
Carson steeled himself explain. It had gone too far, and he didn't want anyone getting hurt. Before he could speak, however, Sheppard pushed Ford into a seat.
"You. Stay." Sheppard ordered the Lieutenant. "You. Out." he continued, grabbing Rodney's shoulder.
"But Major, you don’t understand...." Rodney began.
"No, McKay, *you* don’t understand." John shook his head. Beckett had dropped into the second seat, and was looking at Ford with what could only be described as wonder. Even an idiot could see the spark between them, but apparently not a genius. "Gentlemen, I think the scientist here needs some tangible proof."
Well, that answered *that* question. Re-assured that his CO didn't care who he dated, Aiden reached hesitantly across the table, taking Carson’s hand and squeezing lightly. "Hey."
"Hey, yourself." Carson returned the pressure, grinning like a loon.
----
Sheppard tightened his grip on Rodney’s shoulder, gently steering him towards the door. Rodney cast an incredulous look over his shoulder at Carson and Ford, who were gazing dumbstruck at one another, wearing identical sappy grins.
No wonder Ford had been such a reluctant co-conspirator. Rodney couldn’t believe he’d been so blind - the other three must have been laughing themselves silly watching him run around playing matchmaker for the wrong pair.
"That was my plan all along." Rodney said, trying to salvage some pride.
Sheppard chuckled. "Right, and I’m in the market for a used bridge."
But his voice was kind, and his hand was warm on Rodney’s shoulder. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, after all. Rodney gave a rueful snort. "I could probably help you out there."
Sheppard smiled. "I bet you could. But seriously, McKay, you did good. You hungry?" he asked, dropping his hand as they stepped into the corridor outside his quarters.
"When am I not?" Rodney asked lightly, trying to ignore how *bare* his shoulder felt, with out the warm weight of the other man’s hand. They reached a junction, and Rodney turned, heading for the cafeteria, only to be stopped by Sheppard’s touch in the small of his back, steering him back towards his own room.
"I had them prepare a dinner for four, you know." he said to Rodney. "I asked Zelenka to deliver the rest to your place."
Rodney snorted. "In that case, you should have ordered dinner for six. I happen to know that marinated beef tenderloin is one of Radek's favorites. Sneaky Czech bastard has probably eaten half of it by now."
"Nah. If he does that, he forfeits the bribe."
"You bribed him? Whatever for?" Maybe it *was* so bad, after all. Rodney had visions of Sheppard recruiting Radek to engage in some sort of practical joke, in revenge for Rodney's attempts to set him up with Carson.
"To deliver the food. He seemed a bit nervous about breaking into your quarters."
The man was serious. Rodney decided not to inform him that, had his door actually required a key, he would have given one to Radek ages ago. Instead, he wondered aloud what the bribe had been.
"I promised to spend the day turning things on while he fooled around in the Jumper." Sheppard said with a smile.
Rodney suddenly felt a lot less embarrassed about thinking Carson had a thing for Sheppard. Given the way the man went around dropping double entendres, flirting with anything that moved and looking so damned *hot* all the time, anyone with even the slightest interest in guys would want him. The fact that Carson preferred Ford was simply proof that all that medical mumbo jumbo had rotted his brain.
Which was fine with Rodney, because it improved his own chances. Stunned at the realization, Rodney fell silent. At least, he thought he'd fallen silent, until the reached his quarters, and Sheppard turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised quizzically.
Rodney?" he asked, "Want to tell me what that song is you’ve been humming?”
Humming? He'd been...of course he had. "Johnny is the fairest man" indeed, and how the hell was he going to explain *that* to John Sheppard? Only he'd have to, because chances were if he didn't, Carson would, and he'd bet a naquada generator that Carson's explanation would be a damn sight more embarrassing.
“Umm, I'm awfully hungry. Hang around after dinner, maybe I'll tell you then." Rodney answered with a nervous grin, stalling for time.
Sheppard gave Rodney’s face a single searching look, then smiled and swung an arm around Rodney’s shoulder, “You know, I think I’d like that.”
--------------
John was thrilled at the invitation, for more than one reason. He'd left Beckett and Ford one of his chocolate bars for dessert, wrapped in a note detailing where to find condoms, lube and clean sheets, and he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to return to his own quarters anytime soon.
Title: Johnny is the Fairest Man
Rated: PG
Beckett/Ford first time, McKay/Sheppard preslash
Summary: "The point is, you’re bloody well insane." Rodney tries to help Carson, but he's working from an erroneous assumption.
A/N *Not* a songfic, other than the fact that it's Carson's whistling that causes Rodney to leap to conclusions. Lyrics not included, other than the line Rodney quotes, because they have no bearing on the story, but I'd be happy to e-mail a copy to anybody who's curious.
Thanks as always to my wonderful beta brindel
"Something you want to tell me, Carson?"
"No, not particularly, Rodney."
"It’s just, you’ve been whistling "P stands for Paddy" ever since Sheppard left."
"So?"
"I don’t care what anybody says, Johnny is the fairest man?" Rodney sang. He had a surprisingly pleasant voice, and Carson would have enjoyed it, if he hadn't sounded so damned condescending. Not to mention that what he was hinting at was patently ridiculous, and a very poor joke. He snorted and shook his head.
"I thought it might, you know, *mean* something to you." Rodney continued, oblivious to Carson’s exasperation.
Carson blinked. .Oh my god, he believes it. "No, it …wait. How’d ye know that song?" he asked, trying to change the subject.
"Hello? *McKay*? It’s a damned sight more Celtic than Beckett. Grannie McKay used to sing that all the time. Although, come to think of it, *her* maiden name was Jones. But that’s beside the point. The point is, you *like* Major Sheppard."
"The point is, you’re bloody well insane."
"Ah, come on, Carson, I’m your friend, you can tell me. It’s not easy liking a military man, is it?"
"No, it’s not." Rodney looked so earnestly sympathetic that Carson answered without thinking.
"Ah ha! I knew it." Rodney said triumphantly. "Well, the course of true love never runs smooth and all that. I’m a genius, I can help."
"Rodney, that’s not..."
"Strictly necessary, I know, but I insist."
"Rodney!"
"Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything."
"But, Rodney..." Carson was talking to the other man’s back as he all but ran from the room in his eagerness to ‘help’. "...Sheppard’s not the one I like." Carson finished softly, and buried his face in his hands.
*************
"Ah, Lieutenant Ford, just the man I want to see. I need your help."
"And why’s that, doc? You finally piss someone off to the point you need a bodyguard?"
"Ha ha. Very funny. No, seriously, I need your help with a little project. "
"I don’t know, McKay, I’m no scientist."
"Oh, I don’t need a scientist. I need an accomplice." Rodney lowered his voice conspiratorially. "You see, I’ve noticed a couple of our friends are, shall we say, interested in each other, but are taking their own sweet time acting on it, which is where we come in. I can take care of Dr. Voodoo, if you’ll give Sheppard a little nudge."
"You want to play matchmaker for the Major and Ca....Dr. Beckett?" Ford’s voice rose in dismay.
"What’s the matter, Lieutenant? Don’t tell me you’re homophobic."
Homophobic? Him? Ford bit back a bitter laugh. If you only knew. It was the idea of Carson with someone else that had him so upset. Unfortunately, there was no sign his feelings for Carson were returned. And being a Marine was all about sacrifice. Alright. Sheppard was a good man. If being with him would make Carson happy, Aiden wouldn’t stand in the way. He mentally squared his shoulders and looked McKay in the eye. "I’m in."
McKay gave a crooked smile. "Good, good. Now what I’m thinking is..."
*********************
Ford led Sheppard into an unused lab, furnished with what was probably the only real couch in Atlantis. A complicated arrangement of laptops sat on a table opposite it, rigged to make a decent sized movie screen. There were a few of the Athosian candles and one or two overstuffed cushions, apparently McKay’s attempt to make a more romantic setting. As instructed, Aiden got Sheppard seated in the middle, leaving plenty of room for Carson on his other side. He’d also been instructed to sing the man’s praises to Sheppard, but found the words stuck in his throat.
"So, this is different." Sheppard remarked casually, breaking the brief but awkward silence. "Remind me what we’re doing here?"
Aiden snorted. "Humoring McKay."
"Right." Sheppard nodded, seeming to accept that as a perfectly reasonable explanation for any amount of bizarre behavior, and didn’t press further. Aiden was grateful - he was having a harder time with the whole ‘noble and self-sacrificing’ thing than he’d thought he would, and didn’t know that he’d be able to explain without accidentally coming out. He was pretty sure Sheppard would be okay with him being gay - hell, if McKay was right, he could hardly object - but he didn’t want to press his luck.
---
Carson followed Rodney into the makeshift rec room/theater, a bit puzzled that his friend had suddenly decided to give in to his suggestions to relax, but perfectly happy to encourage him - until he caught site of Aiden Ford seated by John Sheppard on the couch. Carson stopped short, barely resisting the urge to strangle Rodney. He’d been set up! Not only had Rodney manipulated him, but not content to simply embarrass Carson by trying to hook him up with the wrong man, the interfering imbecile had enlisted the help of the right one!
Carson looked at Aiden, trying to determine if he was a willing participant in Rodney’s scheme, or if he’d been steamrolled into it as had Carson himself. The lad was wearing his "good soldier" face, and Carson simply couldn’t tell. Like everything else, it was a good look on him. It occurred to Carson that he hadn’t seen nearly enough of the handsome soldier lately, and this was as good a time to remedy it as any. Ruthlessly squashing the bit of conscience that insisted he end this farce *now*, he simply plopped himself down *on Ford’s other side*, watching with some satisfaction as Rodney nearly worked himself into a stroke, trying to discreetly signal Ford to move.
---
Aiden’s breath caught as Carson sat down beside him. McKay caught his eye, making frantic little gestures, and he could tell that the scientist wanted him to move - but damned if he was going to. He was here, he’d brought Sheppard - and that was all he was prepared to do. So he pretended to misunderstand, happy for once to encourage McKay’s less than flattering opinion of his intelligence.
McKay turned an interesting shade of red, rolled his eyes and flopped down beside Sheppard, and then, apparently feeling crowded, shoved him none to gently sideways. Aiden obligingly scooted over to give the Major some room, but Carson stayed put, not seeming to care that Aiden’s thigh was now pressed warmly against his own.
It felt good. Maybe too good. He firmly reminded himself of why he was here, to help get Sheppard and Carson together, not to indulge his own unrequited feelings. Too bad the reminder didn’t work. As the evening wore on, Aiden found himself relaxing, and started leaning slightly into Carson. To his confusion and delight, the doctor made no attempt to move away. If anything, he seemed to be inching closer himself, but Aiden was almost sure that was just wishful thinking.
When the movie ended, Sheppard stood and stretched. "That was fun, we’ll have to do it again sometime." He didn’t quite manage to stifle a deep yawn. "But it’s been a long day and it’s time for good little soldiers to be in bed. Ford? You coming?" Aiden reluctantly pried himself away from Carson’s warm side and stood, echoing Sheppard’s yawn. It was probably just as well Sheppard had decided it was time to leave: Aiden had been a little *too* comfortable and had been that far from putting his head down on Carson’s shoulder, something that was definitely *not* part of McKay's plan.
---
After the soldiers left, Rodney fixed Carson with an accusing glare. "What the hell was that? I went to all this trouble," he said, indicating the screen and couch (well okay, Ford had moved the couch, but he’d directed, and he’d found the damn thing) "and you didn’t even sit by him."
Carson sighed, feeling just a bit guilty. It was time to come clean. "I’m sorry, Rodney, it’s just that...well, you know what they say about love and higher reasoning. You see, I..." He wasn’t allowed to finish the sentence.
Rodney waved a dismissive hand. "Right, right no problem, we’ll just have to try again." he said magnanimously.
"Rodney, you don’t understand. It’ll never work, ye’ve got the wrong..."
But Rodney still wasn’t listening. "No, really, it’s good. Easing in might be best. Sheppard seemed happy, relaxed. Didn’t he seem happy?"
Carson resisted rolling his eyes. In truth, he hadn’t paid the Major any mind once he’d been seated next to Aiden, but Rodney apparently had been paying close attention. Carson considered drawing a few conclusions of his own from that, but he was already painfully aware of the dangers of making just such assumptions. Och, well, if the man wasn’t going to listen, it wasn’t Carson’s fault. As long as Aiden Ford was included in Rodney's ridiculous schemes, Carson would play along.
***********************************************
Rodney watched in growing frustration as the weeks passed. Sure, Sheppard and Carson were spending time together, but the courtship was not proceeding according to plan. Carson always seemed to be hiding behind Ford, who wasn’t as much help as he could have been. Rodney had thought that his presence, conveying the tacit approval of a fellow soldier, would help, but maybe he should have asked someone with more brains, like Zelenka, to be his fellow schemer.
He finally decided to approach Sheppard directly. Carson seemed bound and determined to undermine all of Rodney’s efforts on his behalf. Perhaps the Major would prove more cooperative. He certainly couldn’t be any *less* helpful. He cornered the man in the gym, at the end of one of Teyla’s stickfighting lessons.
"So listen, I was thinking about using the terrace on the second tower for a little intimate dinner. You know, starlight, the sound of the surf, maybe some candles. I think I could rig up a fairly decent sound system out there too. Maybe have a hint of mood music? What do you think?"
Sheppard seemed surprised. "Why Rodney, I had no idea you were such a romantic. Who’s the lucky lady?"
Rodney was momentarily taken aback. "I’m... no, no it’s not for me, I’m just trying to help out a couple of friends."
"Oh?" John replied, momentarily stumped as to who the ‘friends’ could be. And then he mentally rewound Beckett and Ford’s behavior during their last few get-togethers.
"*Oh*," he repeated with more conviction. "I can’t believe I didn’t see it. Just leave it to me. And be sure the three of you are in my quarters at 7:00."
"Four of us? Isn’t that a bit...crowded...for a tryst?" Rodney protested.
"It’ll only be four for long enough to help break the ice."
Rodney shrugged. It seemed like Sheppard still had doubts about Carson’s reception to his overtures. Rodney considered telling him he was being ridiculous, but there didn’t seem to be much point. If having him and Ford there at the start of his date made Sheppard more comfortable, he didn’t see what it could hurt. They could always withdraw when things got going. He returned to his lab, more than happy to work on really important stuff, while Sheppard set the scene for his own date.
************************
When the three of them arrived at John’s quarters, it was to a stunningly gorgeous setting. Everything in the room had been moved to one end and a narrow rectangular table took center stage in the open space. The lighting had been modified to put a soft spotlight on the table while hiding the rest of the room in the shadows. The table itself practically glowed as the light struck the white cloth that draped down its sides, while a colorful array of dishes filled the surface, and the entire arrangement was flanked by two straight-backed chairs.
Carson gave the table a quizzical look. "Um, not to point out the obvious, but we seem to be short a few place settings."
Rodney turned to Ford. "And that’s our cue to leave."
Carson steeled himself explain. It had gone too far, and he didn't want anyone getting hurt. Before he could speak, however, Sheppard pushed Ford into a seat.
"You. Stay." Sheppard ordered the Lieutenant. "You. Out." he continued, grabbing Rodney's shoulder.
"But Major, you don’t understand...." Rodney began.
"No, McKay, *you* don’t understand." John shook his head. Beckett had dropped into the second seat, and was looking at Ford with what could only be described as wonder. Even an idiot could see the spark between them, but apparently not a genius. "Gentlemen, I think the scientist here needs some tangible proof."
Well, that answered *that* question. Re-assured that his CO didn't care who he dated, Aiden reached hesitantly across the table, taking Carson’s hand and squeezing lightly. "Hey."
"Hey, yourself." Carson returned the pressure, grinning like a loon.
----
Sheppard tightened his grip on Rodney’s shoulder, gently steering him towards the door. Rodney cast an incredulous look over his shoulder at Carson and Ford, who were gazing dumbstruck at one another, wearing identical sappy grins.
No wonder Ford had been such a reluctant co-conspirator. Rodney couldn’t believe he’d been so blind - the other three must have been laughing themselves silly watching him run around playing matchmaker for the wrong pair.
"That was my plan all along." Rodney said, trying to salvage some pride.
Sheppard chuckled. "Right, and I’m in the market for a used bridge."
But his voice was kind, and his hand was warm on Rodney’s shoulder. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, after all. Rodney gave a rueful snort. "I could probably help you out there."
Sheppard smiled. "I bet you could. But seriously, McKay, you did good. You hungry?" he asked, dropping his hand as they stepped into the corridor outside his quarters.
"When am I not?" Rodney asked lightly, trying to ignore how *bare* his shoulder felt, with out the warm weight of the other man’s hand. They reached a junction, and Rodney turned, heading for the cafeteria, only to be stopped by Sheppard’s touch in the small of his back, steering him back towards his own room.
"I had them prepare a dinner for four, you know." he said to Rodney. "I asked Zelenka to deliver the rest to your place."
Rodney snorted. "In that case, you should have ordered dinner for six. I happen to know that marinated beef tenderloin is one of Radek's favorites. Sneaky Czech bastard has probably eaten half of it by now."
"Nah. If he does that, he forfeits the bribe."
"You bribed him? Whatever for?" Maybe it *was* so bad, after all. Rodney had visions of Sheppard recruiting Radek to engage in some sort of practical joke, in revenge for Rodney's attempts to set him up with Carson.
"To deliver the food. He seemed a bit nervous about breaking into your quarters."
The man was serious. Rodney decided not to inform him that, had his door actually required a key, he would have given one to Radek ages ago. Instead, he wondered aloud what the bribe had been.
"I promised to spend the day turning things on while he fooled around in the Jumper." Sheppard said with a smile.
Rodney suddenly felt a lot less embarrassed about thinking Carson had a thing for Sheppard. Given the way the man went around dropping double entendres, flirting with anything that moved and looking so damned *hot* all the time, anyone with even the slightest interest in guys would want him. The fact that Carson preferred Ford was simply proof that all that medical mumbo jumbo had rotted his brain.
Which was fine with Rodney, because it improved his own chances. Stunned at the realization, Rodney fell silent. At least, he thought he'd fallen silent, until the reached his quarters, and Sheppard turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised quizzically.
Rodney?" he asked, "Want to tell me what that song is you’ve been humming?”
Humming? He'd been...of course he had. "Johnny is the fairest man" indeed, and how the hell was he going to explain *that* to John Sheppard? Only he'd have to, because chances were if he didn't, Carson would, and he'd bet a naquada generator that Carson's explanation would be a damn sight more embarrassing.
“Umm, I'm awfully hungry. Hang around after dinner, maybe I'll tell you then." Rodney answered with a nervous grin, stalling for time.
Sheppard gave Rodney’s face a single searching look, then smiled and swung an arm around Rodney’s shoulder, “You know, I think I’d like that.”
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John was thrilled at the invitation, for more than one reason. He'd left Beckett and Ford one of his chocolate bars for dessert, wrapped in a note detailing where to find condoms, lube and clean sheets, and he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to return to his own quarters anytime soon.